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Weddings

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How on earth does anyone afford to get married?

100 replies

Orangetattoo · 29/07/2023 20:14

Apparently the average cost of a UK wedding is £20,000!

I have no experience with these things, does this sound about right?

Venues alone start at £3,500.

This just seems totally impossible.

Anyone know of any much, much cheaper weddings?

OP posts:
Somewhereovertherainbowweighapie · 30/07/2023 02:06

I think it depends on what you want. It’s fine to spend a lot, fine not to. You could just keep it very small or
book a pub for the reception and have everyone pay for own drinks and meal instead of giving you a gift.
Or have a few plates of food handed out at reception with no sit down meal, have everyone buy own drinks or perhaps have very limited drinks provided. (You must tell people there won’t be a meal)

MaxiPadd · 30/07/2023 02:11

Mid divorce now but I had a cheap Wedding

  • found dress in a charity shop
  • had wedding on a weekday
  • had reception in a restaurant and only invited family and wedding party to the meal
  • met up with other guests at a pub later
  • got a student photographer who was building her portfolio but had enough to show her work to us beforehand
  • made the invitations
  • friend did the flowers
  • wasn't any decoration really necessary but we put some flowers in the church and the restaurant had a nice ambiance and bouquets sat on the table along with the wedding cake
  • had meal in a venue where we served 2 glasses but bought by the bottle and then people could buy themselves cocktails and such from the bar
  • made the favours
  • chose a church that didn't charge much for the ceremony
  • had wedding pictures taken in a park nearby to the pub we arranged to meet up with people at later
  • had a friend drive us from the church to the reception and then eventually away to our honeymoon hotel which happened to be on his way home- they had a nice car and we told them we considered it a wedding present helping us out Wink
MaxiPadd · 30/07/2023 02:14

Oh and cake was a wedding present from MIL made by her friend (probably still a significant expense but less than had it not been mates rates)

MaxiPadd · 30/07/2023 02:17

It's ofc a thousand times cheaper still if you have only immediate family for a wedding office ceremony

Then throw a big party in a community centre type hall without calling it "wedding" when booking anything

MaxiPadd · 30/07/2023 02:19

Forgot the reason we actually chose the restaurant was because we went there on our first date - that explained it to everybody without saying bluntly "we're skint but getting married anyway"

LadyOfTheCanyon · 30/07/2023 03:55

We got married in 2019 in central London. The whole day cost £12.5K but we could have spent A LOT less. We splurged on a nice venue with great food for 50 guests. Plenty of free booze. That amounted to £8.5K alone.

The other £4K was on registry office fees, a routemaster to get all guests from RO to venue, Prosecco for drinking on the bus, my dress (£200 off the peg), shoes, his suit and shoes, flowers from the market, fairy lights for the venue, taxis, invitations, cake ( M&S plain tiers decorated by me), hotel for nights before and after, Magician for the drinks reception, evening snacks.

We utilised all our contacts to the full- we're friends with tons of creatives so got mates rates or freebies on photography, music etc. We decorated the venue ourselves and cleared up ourselves. I made my own tiara, wedding bouquet, table decorations, jewellery, did my own make up and hair, made paper flowers to decorate the cake with... if we'd paid market rate for a lot of this stuff we could easily have hit the £20K mark

I'm a florist and he's a DJ so those spends were very low. Grin

The things that saved us money were getting married in winter, buying clothes off the peg, not using professional photographers, doing the music ourselves, buying cheap cake and doing our own flowers. Invitations were £100 from Vistaprint, I made the seating plan for £20 with cardboard from Hobbycraft and printed off at home.

The most important thing for both of us was that our guests were happy, well fed and not bored. We spent 20 minutes tops on photos, made sure there was money behind the bar all night and had an absolute blast.

daisychain01 · 30/07/2023 04:23

Apparently the average cost of a UK wedding is £20,000!

As reported by the wedding industry, the hospitality industry, the fashion industry etc, to set an expectation to gullible people with more money than sense, that if they don't spend tens of thousands of pounds it isn't a proper wedding.

Of course people can afford to get married, they can choose to cut their cloth accordingly, nobody is holding a gun to their head.

autienotnaughti · 30/07/2023 06:56

I want the 'white wedding' without the price tag.

We got married in 2017 and it cost £6000. We had about 80 to the day and 120 to the night. In august.

I picked a hotel that was slightly out of town as it was cheaper than city centre

Got married at the hotel so no cost of cars

We had a hog roast rather than a sit down meal. It was half the price. The down side was guests served them selves. But it did mean they could choose what they wanted and the line moved pretty quickly.

A relative made the cake

I bought my dress from a outlet and had a relative adjust it. It was £500.

We hired a student photographer to come for 3 hours. She did a few shots before, the service, the official photos. Then a few of guests milling round. It was £60 and we got a usb so we could get the photos we wanted printed ourselves.

Bought bridesmaids dresses from Debenhams £65 each

Made our own invites, favours and table decs.

Hired suits

We got married on a Friday

We hired an Icecream van instead of dessert as it was cheaper

We made a sweetie table.

For the flowers I ordered three small bouquets and one large as it was significantly cheaper than ordering the bridal bouquet.

trevthecat · 30/07/2023 07:26

We eloped. Got married at city Chambers in Edinburgh. Had a party at a hotel in our home town a few weeks later, would have been nearer to the wedding bit covid! Cost us less than 3k for the day, Airbnb, outfits, meal, drinks and party after that fed 70. We did our own decor in the hotel.

Fizbosshoes · 30/07/2023 07:43

Getting married is the legal part , "having a wedding" is usually an optional (but admittedly nice to have) party.
So you can get married at a registry office for I think about £160. Obviously anything you wanted to do after that would be more.
I say this as someone who got married and the wedding included nice cars, and a reception for around 100 people at a golf club. It was 20 years ago and it was fairly expensive (although less than the average at the time) but its not the actual act of getting married that's expensive, it's all the nice things added to it.

RocketIceLollie · 30/07/2023 07:50

Weddings are just an attention seeking show really. You can have a cheap simple wedding at a registry office with just close friends and family. It depends how much attention you want as for how big and fancy a wedding is really.

ShiteRider · 30/07/2023 07:57

DS spent 35k on his last year. It was lovely.

I saw a couple having a wedding reception on a beach last week. It looked perfect. Can’t say what the ceremony would have been but the dress etc looked beautiful and very simple, no photographs that I could see and they all sat and ate curry on the beach.

Each wedding was probably perfect for each couple. I know which my preference would have been though.

Rathouse · 30/07/2023 07:58

Twizbe · 29/07/2023 20:20

Weddings cost what you’re willing to spend on them.

A register office mid week early morning ceremony will be much cheaper than a civil ceremony on a Saturday at a hotel.

Some religious venues will marry you for free / small donation if you can’t afford to marry.

You only need 2 witnesses so any guests beyond that are a bonus.

This

MagicClawHasNoChildren · 30/07/2023 08:00

Ours was less than £2K, including my dress. We got married in a church, with an organist, but just took everyone home for a party at ours rather than a 'reception' - just had people everywhere Grin The idea of spending even £5K was ludicrous to us, never mind four times that!

110APiccadilly · 30/07/2023 08:01

We married in church and had a reception in a (different) church hall - we booked a hog roast for this. It cost about £4K, and that's with a fair few things we could have cut back on but wanted to have and could afford.

Dreemhouse · 30/07/2023 08:02

We had a registry office and then a meal afterwards, only close family (parents, siblings) and a few friends each. Didn’t have photographers, just took photos on phones. No favours, no bridesmaids, nothing like that. Not sure exactly how much it was but probably under £600. When you have a big extravagant wedding, you are paying for a party for other people. Which is great if that’s what you want, but not necessary.

Ariela · 30/07/2023 08:06

Don't mention wedding when booking a venue - my nephew did that, mid-week, booked a ' family celebration lunch' for 24 at an hotel. Cost a lot less than 'wedding'. Florist friend did the flowers at cost, Cake was made by another friend and the dress she made. He bought a suit.
Venue got a bit sniffy about it not being booked as a 'wedding' but nephew pointed out that Wednesday lunchtime was hardly the busiest day of the week and it had saved them staff bills as they'd have expected better service - and the restaurant was empty anyway.

Enoughnowbrandon · 30/07/2023 08:07

Registry office. Buffet afterwards in your house or at a pub.

Blondeshavemorefun · 30/07/2023 08:08

A wedding is only costly if you make it

Yes you want a nice day that is understandable

We got married 2yrs ago (tomorow) was our 3rd attempt as 1&2 were cancelled due to covid lockdowns in. 2020 and 2021 🥲

We chose a venue where you can get married and have reception there - was a pub

Registrar I think was around £600 to come and do wedding

Venue was free /cheap as eating there

We did a hog roast which I think was £15pp

Didn't want a 3 course sit down meal as such

And had around 80. Was meant to be be 120 ish but due to covid numbers we had to trim

Married at 4 so only one meal to feed guests - that's what costs.

The feeding and drinking of guests

Wedding was less than £5k

SallyWD · 30/07/2023 08:11

Obviously it depends on the type of wedding. We did it at a registry office with 2 witnesses and a take away afterwards. It cost us less than £100.

Thelastwaltz · 30/07/2023 08:11

AnnieKayTee · 29/07/2023 21:02

We got married in church and had a party at the local club. All in all, 2.5k max. Don't mention "wedding" when ordering a cake. 🤣
I think there's a difference between just wanting to be married and wanting the big day.

Ditto.

Because we were regular church goers we got the bells for free and also the choir and organist waived their fees.
The ladies Flower Club did the flowers for free (we paid for the flowers, they arranged them)
I got my dress off eBay.
A friend of DH lent us a wedding car.

Cost about 2k 10 years ago.

WashableVelvet · 30/07/2023 08:12

I think those average costs are from surveys conducted by bridal magazines. The average paid by someone who both buys bridal magazines and fills in surveys about it is going to be much higher than the average nationally.

SwordToFlamethrower · 30/07/2023 08:13

We eloped. It cost £300 and our rings were something like £25 each, made of sterling silver. We bought cup cakes from a bakery and had a picnic at the bottom of Glastonbury tor.

We got married, we just didn't bother with the wedding part.

Thelastwaltz · 30/07/2023 08:17

*Forget to say friend's daughter was a photographer, so we got the photos for free. 🙂

HashBrownandBeans · 30/07/2023 08:30

Ours was £4k in total including everything and you would never have thought it was that cheap.

hen and stag dos in the UK
registry office was in a beautiful medieval house with a walled garden for photos
photographer was booked for half a day
my dress was £40 from asos
hired suits
silver wedding rings came to £50 for both
did my own makeup and hair
no wedding cars
reception in a village hall
dj was a mate
we did our own buffet for £400 and it was immense
cake was from Waitrose
did all the decor ourselves

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