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Original poster

Does anyone else hate wedding dress shopping!!

31 replies

taratatata · 18/07/2023 18:26

Went into a boutique today and just wanted to curl up on the spot. I find the pressure and the sales tactics so overwhelming! Is it not anyone else’s cup of tea and how do you handle it?

OP posts:
broccolibush · 18/07/2023 18:29

I loathed it. The fussing, the faux bashfulness over prices, the refusal to allow pictures. Bought a dress off the high street instead. Saved a fortune and my sanity.

Meeting · 18/07/2023 18:32

My best advice is to do your research BEFORE going to an appointment.

Research wedding dress designers.
Find out their price range (call a stockist and they will tell you).
Find a boutique that stocks the brand.
Go and try on the ones you liked.

This way there are no surprises and no trying on something you know you don't like "to rule it out" and being talked into it.

Original poster
taratatata · 18/07/2023 18:32

broccolibush · 18/07/2023 18:29

I loathed it. The fussing, the faux bashfulness over prices, the refusal to allow pictures. Bought a dress off the high street instead. Saved a fortune and my sanity.

Did you not feel disappointed you’d not got a ‘proper’ wedding dress? I want to do this too but worried I will regret not having a really special one of a kind dress xx

OP posts:
Kcitsorf · 18/07/2023 18:39

Do you have a Wed2b near you? I hated the boutique shops but I found my perfect dress in Web2b but didn't have all the faffing and judgment every time a touched a dress. I felt so uneasy in the boutique shops I never thought I was going to find a dress

mummymummymummummum · 18/07/2023 18:43

I went to what is now Wed2b. Rails of dresses sorted by size. You chose 4 (I think it was) at a time, and then queued to try on (I was there on a busy Saturday). An assistant helped get the dresses on, but no other sales tactics. I didn’t like my first 4 so chose another 4 and queued again. Sorted!

HermeticDawn · 18/07/2023 18:44

I got married in jeans, but went to a chichi village wedding dress shop with a friend once. I’m not sure why they let us in — we hadn’t made an appointment and were visibly on our way home from a wet walk. The atmosphere of hushed ‘You are buying THE MOST IMPORTANT GARMENT YOU WILL EVER OWN!’ made us both snort, and the saleswoman clearly thought we were doing it All Wrong. Friend ended up making her dress herself, but it was a bonding experience we still remember fondly over 20 years later.

DelilahBucket · 18/07/2023 18:49

I hated it, from the boutiques to the Wed2Be shop. They were all so desperate for me to buy a dress they kept bringing me things I had explicitly said I didn't want (i.e. I wanted a plain dress, with some kind of straps or sleeves to hold my boobs up, no corset, no cheap itchy lace or beading that irritated the heck out of my skin).
I was going to get a second hand dress and get it altered or get something made from scratch, but I fell lucky with a boutique that was closing down. As they were closing, they were just selling the sample dresses they had in stock and there was no pressure at all. It was absolute bliss!

rainbug · 18/07/2023 18:54

I hated it. I went to one wedding dress shop because my sister wanted me to. She ended up trying on dresses while I was bored. I ended up buying a pre owned dress and wore it with white Dr martens

CRbear · 18/07/2023 18:56

Another vote for Wed2be!

cariadlet · 18/07/2023 19:02

One of the reasons that I've never married my dp is that I hate fuss. I couldn't be doing with wedding planning and wedding dress shops sound awful.

The nearest I got to it was when my daughter left school and she wanted me to go with her to choose a dress for her prom. That was bad enough.

MsBride2be · 18/07/2023 20:16

Can’t stand it either - I’ve not been but just the thought of a bridal boutique makes my skin crawl! I’m not on a tight budget at all but buying high street for this reason

broccolibush · 19/07/2023 10:13

taratatata · 18/07/2023 18:32

Did you not feel disappointed you’d not got a ‘proper’ wedding dress? I want to do this too but worried I will regret not having a really special one of a kind dress xx

Show quote history

Not in the slightest. But I’m not particularly into clothes and didn’t spend any of my life imagining my wedding before I planned it. So I’m possibly not the right person to ask.

I did buy a pair of very special shoes to wear with said high street dress which I’ve got repeated use from which probably were a proxy for a fab wedding dress (that I probably would look a little odd wearing to the opera).

Babdoc · 19/07/2023 10:20

This made me laugh, and brought back memories of my own wedding, in 1981.
I wore black! A £13 summer dress from BHS, that I’d owned for a few years.
As a radfem I was anti marriage and making a point. DH and I just got a day off work, 2 witnesses and a registrar. Job done, minimal stress, no fuss.

eurochick · 19/07/2023 10:31

I also hated it. The fussing. The fake reverence over The Wedding Dress (it's a frock, love, get over yourself). I've managed to dress myself since primary school but somehow when wedding dress shopping you need some irritating woman in white gloves fusing over you in the changing room. Awful.

I found by chance that a big department store had a bridal section tucked away in a corner. The people working there were helpful but not over the top. I got my dress from there.

Hairgician · 19/07/2023 13:28

Jees i never had any of that bs at my appts. Both times the ladies were lovely, chatting away and no pressure to buy or to try stuff i knew i didnt want.

ivycastle · 25/07/2023 06:24

I hated it and I only went in one wedding dress shop before deciding to buy mine from Etsy!

I got a beautiful, unique dress and had it altered by a skilled seamstress. It suited my personality much better.

There are other ways than wedding dress boutiques.

Totalwasteofpaper · 25/07/2023 06:33

Someone else got there first but wed2b. Google it.

I didnt want a high streetdress and i didnt want to be discretely quizzed on my annual income via choice of holiday destinations.

Wed2b saved my sanity.
I browsed the website got a rough idea of what i liked. Assisstsnt suggested 2 i picked 2 third dress was a winner. With minor alterations it was under £800.

My friend got absolutely done and was sold a stunning high neck duchess satin dress for a 32 degree august wedding for 15.5k !!!she almost melted. They talked her and her nice sister into it and wrote 2 invoices one for 12k to the parents and she paid the difference. Insanity.

CheersToMe · 25/07/2023 08:10

I made mine. Knew what I wanted.

However...DD and I love 'Say Yes to the Dress' and might just take a trip to New York to try on dresses when the time comes!

doglover90 · 25/07/2023 08:20

taratatata · 18/07/2023 18:32

Did you not feel disappointed you’d not got a ‘proper’ wedding dress? I want to do this too but worried I will regret not having a really special one of a kind dress xx

Show quote history

Unless you're spending tens of thousands at a top couture designer, none of the dresses in these bridal shops will be 'one of a kind' - although they'll try to make you think that they are!

If you get one from the high street, you could take it to a dressmaker to have it altered to fit you perfectly, or to add some 'extras', that will make it feel more special/tailored to 'you'.

tracylamont13 · 25/07/2023 08:22

I bought a £50 dress from eBay. I'm not a shopper at the best of times and knew I'd hate wedding dress shopping.

Tereseta · 25/07/2023 08:25

I did the whole shopping with bridesmaids and hated it. I went by myself one afternoon to a shop in liverpool that has all the dresses in stock in size order and just tried a few on in my own time. So much easier!

Tereseta · 25/07/2023 08:26

And cheaper! It was £650 including alterations and was much nicer than anything I'd seen in the bridal boutique

ValenciaOrange · 25/07/2023 08:26

My daughter got hers at WED2B. We went together. She wasn't looking forward to it but really enjoyed it. There was no pressure. She could try on as many as she liked. We took photos of each one. She found a dress she really liked but wanted to look in another shop too. We left had a walk , went for lunch, went to the next place , and then went back four hours later and bought it.
You bring it home there and then and WED2B give you a list of seamstresses who you then contact for any alterations needed.

tinselvestsparklepants · 25/07/2023 08:29

Hated it. Went to a second hand wedding dress shop in the end, on my own. Owner was lovely, and honest - I bought the dress that 'you could eat a pie in that'. Have since donated it, perfect condition, to a charity wedding dress shop. Do consider that - gorgeous dresses, low prices, no pressure and everybody wins.

Mumdiva99 · 25/07/2023 08:29

I got married in a £35 shift dress with pink flowers all over. I bought it on the Internet. It was perfect for me.
I bought a couple of second hand wedding dresses online - weren't right. An expensive dress - was lovely but more mother of the bride - ended up gifting them all to local hospice wedding dress shop.
Went once to Wed2be just to confirm I was happy not spending hundreds on a white dress.
My dress was me. Comfortable. Flattering. And - the money saved was used for other things.

So much pressure by others. My mother got with the dress but kept trying to 'gift' me a bouquet as she thought I couldn't afford it. I could. I just didn't want to spend lots on a bouquet. So I made my own. It wasn't as beautiful as a professional one - florisrs are artists after all.....but, it was pretty and did the job and cost about £10.