Will be ugly and fat on my wedding day! 😖

[CutiePatooties]

Posting in hope that other brides felt this way and can tell me that on the day it didn’t matter?

HOPING.

3 weeks and 4 days to go and I’ve only lost half a stone since giving birth 5 months ago. Had hoped I’d lose the stone and a half I’ve put on through pregnancy. I’m also not very pretty, and being fat makes my face look even uglier than when I’m slim.

anyone else felt this way on the lead up to the big day?

did you change your mind once the day arrived and you were all glammed up etc?

my bridesmaids are size 10, gorgeous, curves in the right places. This also fills me with dread! They can’t help being beautiful but I’m hating the thought of looking even uglier in comparison! Some days I feel like cancelling it altogether or postponing until I’m in a better place.

@CutiePatooties and @Blondbombsite I think you’ll both be absolutely gorgeous on your wedding day. I certainly don’t see fat and ugly looking at either of your pictures. Gorgeous brides and gorgeous dresses. I hope you both have an amazing unforgettable wedding day 😀

@Blondbombsite your dress is really lovely, you look fab in those pictures. Honestly you don't look fat at all.

This thread has made me think about how we perceive ourselves compared to how others see us.

P.S @Blondbombsite have a wonderful wedding day

@Blondbombsite ahhh your dress is stunning!!! You have such a better shape than I do - you will look perfect on your wedding day 😊 wish I looked that good!

thank you for everyone’s comments - you’re all so lovely.

Not at all @CutiePatooties ! @DutchessOfMuck Is right as I obviously see something very different to you in our pics. I think you look great 🥰 and I’m sure you’ll be radiant on the day!

Wedding dresses are some of the most flattering dresses ever, designed to nip you in in all the right places. I'm sure you'll look amazing b.

Do what you can over the next 3 weeks but don't stress too much.

Book a good make up artist and hair dresser. Buy some Spanx to smooth and flatter your shape.

@SunshineAndFizz thank you so
much - I will do!

He still wants you to marry him, though? Even if you are (which I doubt very much) 'ugly and fat', he obviously finds you attractive and loves you so much he wants you to be his wife.

Why are you good enough for him but not good enough for you?

Both of those dresses are beautiful and neither of you are fat. Don't forget on the day you will have your hair and make up done and look glammed up.
I loved my wedding dress when I tried it on a year before the wedding. The hairdresser convinced me to have my hair up (although I wasn't sure), on the day everyone said I looked beautiful, I felt like a million dollars but now looking at the photos I think I looked frumpy and I hated my hair. The thing is NOBODY else sees you the way you see yourself.

Congratulations ... I'm jealous, I wish I could get married again 😂

Oh Cutie - you don't look fat AT ALL in that beautiful dress!! I was so pleasantly surprised when I saw you wearing it - from the way you described yourself I really wasn't expecting you to look so lovely.

We're none of us perfect - my DD is getting married soon and I am stressing about fitting into my frock - but do you know what? For the first time ever I am having hair and make up done, and yes, there will be bits of me sticking out but I and most certainly you, will look bloody gorgeous on the day.

Blonde I have just seen your pics and am so jealous of your waist!! You too will be a stunning bride - why are we so hard on ourselves? Have a fabulous day and accept all the compliments that will be coming your way

I was fat on my wedding day and honestly I looked and felt beautiful. The dress, the hair, the makeup, the magic of the day they all work together to help you feel stunning. Both of you have such a lovely shape in your dresses too!

Have you had a hair and make up trial yet @CutiePatooties ?
My MUA and hair stylist were magicians.

Ok so neither of you are stick insects, but you both have lovely womanly figures.

I'm guessing both of you are wearing your normal underwear? Invest in some really good stuff. The difference a good bra makes is huge.
Both dresses are lovely and you will both look great in those dresses

OP you look bloody amazing in your dress.
I also LOVE the dress it looks very classy.

@catandcoffee awww thank you so much!! ❤️
@Ted27 ive bought a shapewear thing with a padded plunge bra built in… hoping that makes it look better!
@TabithaTittlemouse I have my trials this month so Fingers crossed mine are magicians!
@riotlady just what I want to hear!! I just want someone to say, yes you’re fat, but that doesn’t matter. Your day will be perfect and you’ll forget about your size! Just really hoping I do forget about it and just enjoy the day for the reasons I’m meant to enjoy it and not focus on how I look.
@HappyGranny6 @notme1969 thank you so much! ❤️

@NeverDropYourMooncup that got me all emotional… I suppose I’ve never been good enough for myself even when thin, I always hated how fat I was. At a size 8, I’d tell myself daily that I’m fat and now at a size 16, it’s just a lot worse!

First: Your body might not be the weight you want it to be, but it did just create and grow a new human! Every time you look at your body, instead of seeing what you don't like, you should be incredibly of it for what it has achieved.
Second: There is no such thing as ugly. When you see yourself, what is it you are seeing that you don't like? List the things you are saying to yourself, then imagine if your new baby when older came to you and said them about themselves, what would you say in response?
Third: Your soon-to-be-DH wants to marry you so obviously sees you in a very different way to how you see yourself. Think about what he loves about you, and believe it.
Fourth: I've seen the photos you added in your update. You look absolutely stunning! That dress is beautiful, the design and detail is so pretty, and it fits you perfectly. Your face is obviously a bit blurred in the photo but I can still see you are beautiful.

Walk into your wedding standing tall, shoulders down, head high, with a beaming smile on your face. Think about how much your baby loves you, how much your DP loves you, how much all of your wedding guests love you and want to celebrate your marriage, and just be so happy and proud of yourself.

I think both of you look gorgeous. @CutiePatooties I think because you were “settling” for the dress you look a bit slumped. I think standing really tall will look even better. It’s a beautiful dress. And @Blondbombsite i think you could get a dressmaker to put a lace up insert in the back, you also look stunning.

I can understand your worries, I was fatter than either if you when I got marrried in the 80s. I went to a couple of dress shops who instantly told me they would have nothing to fit anyone as big as me (I was an 18 at the time). So depressing and humiliating. A dressmaker made one for me and I’m happy she did, even I think I looked ok!

@Adultchildofelderlyparents aww thank you so much for taking the time to reply! Such a lovely message.

@Alanisthebestdog you're right about me being slumped - I really didn’t feel any of the dresses tbh. I look like that in every dress I tried on, apart from one… but the one I fell in love with had major back fat so I couldn’t buy it 😞 I think the note to stand taller is a good one! Just feel like I won’t as I won’t be confident. Are we allowed to get drunk before walking down the aisle? 😂

@Blondbombsite You look stunning in that dress too! Such a beautiful dress, and it suits you perfectly.

I don’t have anything comforting to say unfortunately. Prior to my wedding I struggled with work related depression. I had gained weight and couldn’t lose it. I looked awful, I knew I looked awful, and it ruined my wedding. I wanted to cancel the whole thing and I argued with my fiancé repeatedly. I didn’t buy a dress until about two days before because I really didn’t want to buy the size of dress I needed. The photos were hideous, I chose not to waste money on an album and I’ve never put any of them on display. I wish I had just ignored him and cancelled it because it was dreadful, I didn’t feel pretty at all and the photos still make me cry.

@Asparagoose omg this is exactly where I’m at!!! Arguing to cancel it. Your message makes me think perhaps I’m right to go ahead and cancel as I’d hate to live with those regrets. Although saying that, could renew vows later when in a better place? As I’ve spent thousands on this wedding, we both have. So to cancel we would be throwing the money down the drain.

I think that dress looks absolutely fantastic on you. It's a great shape and look so lovely from the back. Sometimes that voice we have in our minds saying horrible things to us is so hard to ignore. Please try as you will look beautiful on your wedding day.

@50ftQueenieee awww thank you ❤️ I’m trying to stay positive as it’s beginning to upset my fiancé now. We keep arguing about cancelling/not cancelling it and he said he loves me, our guests love me, so why am I bothered? He also says I’m gorgeous etc but I feel he has to say that sometimes lol. Never take compliments off him, as he benefits from staying in my good books haha!

Aw don’t cancel @CutiePatooties , I bet once you’re there you will enjoy it. Good underwear and the excitement will keep you going I’m sure, and I bet there are photos you love. Remember you are marrying the man you love, and that your gorgeous baby will love to look back at photos of the day with you both there, and baby too!