Who pays for the hen party?

[JulyDreams]

Just that really! I am planning my sister's hen party for next year. I believe the hen doesn't pay for herself?

Does everyone pay for themselves?
And if so- are the bridesmaid la expected to contribute more?

The reason I ask... we are wanting to go abroad and it may likely work out quite expensive.

I suppose whenever can't afford it/ doesn't want to go abroad doesn't have to and we aren't forcing everyone. I understand it can be so expensive.

Sorry NOT the hen... the Bride doesn't pay for herself I meant.

Hen pays for herself. The other people going will already be paying lots more than they wish to spend on going to someone else's hen night if is abroad. It would be RUDE to ask them to pay for the hen as well.

I think if you are planning an expensive hen do abroad then you shouldn’t be expecting people to subsidise the bride.
split equally between everyone who wants to go.

IME the cost of hotel/flight for bride is divided between the other attendees.

I’d be up for paying the bride’s share of a meal out, but the bride’s share of a weekend away? Not a chance in hell.

Usually hen doesn't pay, it's covered across the rest of the group. But I think if going abroad, and if it going to cost quite a lot anyway, it is unfair to expect others to pay more. To be honest, I'd be embarrassed if my bridesmaids planned a hen abroad, as I'm sure it would great fun, but id worry about the cost to others too much and it would ruin the excitement of it all for me. I've already told my bridesmaids not to do this in advance. But if I was a bride who did want to go away, then I'd expect to pay for myself. Never would I expect others to fork out for me to go on a holiday!!

Bridesmaids tend to pay more, for any hen do I've organised I know I've always been out quite a bit of money. Mainly on wee bits and pieces, like decorations, and things like that. But those were things I choose to buy so I didn't mind! It's not cheap being a bridesmaid! And there's always someone dropping out and things like that, which has increased costs.

My post sounds like I hate hen dos/being a bridesmaid, but I actually love them!! Just realistically there's always something. And with so many people having to be extra money conscious these days, there's just a lot to consider.

The brides share of dinner/afternoon tea is split by her friends. Not a foreign trip. I had a weekend away and I covered all my costs as well as buying gifts for my bridesmaids.

Everyone pays their way, inc the bride. By all means ask people to contribute for silly suprise extras etc for the hen but hotel/travel equally split.

Meal out with a few drinks - everyone splits the brides share

If the bride wants a holiday abroad she should make it clear she's paying for herself. It would be very cheeky to expect everyone else to fund it in my opinion.

I paid for myself on my hen do, as have most hen does I’ve been on, unless free place comes as part of the package. Sometimes bride is covered, but not a given, especially with how expensive hen does are. And especially if going abroad.

Thanks all! My plans are I am going to pay for my sister in full and myself. As well as substitute the gifting/ any accessories for every robe to use (as you can imagine on a hen)

It’s usually the hen who will say if they want to go abroad. Therefore she really should pay for herself, if this is what she wants to do. I’ve been on a couple of good friends hen dos abroad, and have never had to pay for them.

Sorry for typos! Everyone to use*

Thanks @Iloveacurry the bride has said she wants to go abroad and will contribute whatever she needs to.

Before planning the hen I would asks the guests and brief them with the cost! Get a rough idea who can afford to go .. sounds fab!

If the bride wants a holiday abroad then she should be expecting to pay herself.

OP read through some of the many threads on here about 'organisers of expensive hen dos' ending up out of pocket.
Seriously - ask people to be really honest and say if they can't / don't want to go from the start, or people just keep quiet then drop out later. Don't book anything without cash up front.
Very few people really want to spend £££ on a holiday abroad that has all be picked by someone else, before then spending more on the wedding soon afterwards.
There are threads on here all the time where people have dropped out after saying they will go, then either the organiser is out of pocket or the other hens are all out of pocket. Get some actual prices and get them to hand over the money before booking anything.

Thanks @Kite22 but I don't expect for her to pay for herself. We will be clear before booking who can afford to come and the cost of what it will be

Make sure you get everyone's cash before you book. People drop out willy nilly of these things which bumps the price up for others.

Take a tip from a glimmer - price it up and get confirmation up front and a deposit, or you'll be the one who ends up out of pocket. If you divide the cost of the accommodation by ten, book it, then three drop out, you'll be the one covering that shortfall. It isn't pretty!

Then you need to pay for her. You can't expect others to pay for themselves plus the bride on top.

This sounds like a nightmare.

Bride should pay for herself.

Everyone pays for themselves

Every hen do I’ve been on the bride has paid for herself. I wouldn’t have wanted my friends to pay for me as they’re already forking out for the hen do and wedding related costs of attending

That's fine if you're happy to cover her costs yourself. Very presumptuous to share it between guests who are already paying for a holiday abroad because "that's what the bride wants".

With the cost of living high and could become even higher, planning an expensive trip abroad may be disappointing when some can’t come. I’d prioritise my leave for my own holidays to be honest. Right now expensive trips abroad for just a hen do seem a bit much.

Would happily help pay for a brides meal/drinks out. But if abroad they should pay themselves seeing as the bride wants to go.