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No key wedding

36 replies

bbqhulahoop · 07/06/2022 20:11

Hi everyone,

Not sure I'm asking in the right place given you're all planning gorgeous occasions and I have no intention of, but... I've recently told my partner I'd like to get married to protect us both legally and also the kids. He's actually happy to do it, just doesn't want the fuss or expense which is also fine with me. I'm approaching 40 and would hate to be centre of attention and don't have enough friends for a conventional wedding. Honestly, if we could just go to Vegas in our jeans I'd do that. Can anyone tell me about their low (no) key weddings please?

OP posts:
CorpseReviver · 07/06/2022 20:13

We had one but we definitely didn't go to Las Vegas so I don't think my experience is the kind of thing you're looking for.

To me, travelling to another continent to a famous "wedding" location isn't what I'd call low or no key.

ivykaty44 · 07/06/2022 20:13

Just go on a Monday morning to the register office and ask for two witnesses

jubileetrain · 07/06/2022 20:14

We went to the registry office with 2 other people as witnesses and just did it. He wore a suit and I wore a skirt with a loose blazer. It was 20+ years ago and I don't regret a single bit.

trevthecat · 07/06/2022 20:15

We eloped to Edinburgh last summer. Just us, our witnesses were the photographer and her dad. Got an Airbnb and married at city Chambers. Was perfect for us

dinglethedragon · 07/06/2022 20:17

just do it - we got married in jeans and jumpers, invited friends to come and bring food for a wedding picnic - the most expensive thing we had to buy was the flowers on the table and the hire of the hall. You don't even need to have a "do" - other friends got married then we decamped to the local pub, equally brilliant. We all paid for our own bar food and drinks and had a great time.

Bettethebuilder · 07/06/2022 20:18

I got married in a register office. Witnesses and guests were my parents and our DC. DH bought a ring, I had my grandma’s wedding ring. I bought a cream wool dress and a striking long cream coat -both from a charity shop. DH wore his suit. We didn’t have any flowers. We went to and from the register office by bus. My parents bought us champagne and we all went out to dinner in a nice restaurant in the evening. It was very nice.

ShadowoftheFall · 07/06/2022 20:18

We went to the Register Office on an extended lunch break. My cousin and my mother’s partner were our witnesses. Then we had a long weekend in Edinburgh the following weekend.

pinkyboots1 · 07/06/2022 20:22

I have MH probs and my other half is very shy so are going to have a small immediate family only ceremony on a Monday Afternoon in our local Town Hall then a family meal. I'll be wearing a wedding dress etc but not going crazy

bbqhulahoop · 07/06/2022 20:24

These are all amazing! Thanks so much! To the first respondent, I don't want to get married in Vegas, just get it done with no fuss really! I have a bad feeling we'd have to invite my parents and his parent and sister (his mum is dead and she has stepped into the MIL role!) But then I think if his sibling is there I need to invite mine. Brother has a wife and 4 kids. Sis will want to bring her boyfriend that I've never met. Just feels like such a minefield already, hence just wanting to get it done and just be married!

OP posts:
ChronicallyOnline · 07/06/2022 20:25

Registry office in next town. That's it.

SucculentSunshine · 07/06/2022 20:26

Unashamedly following.

dannydyerismydad · 07/06/2022 20:39

I can't imagine it was cheap, but years ago a friend eloped to Disneyland Paris. They had no guests - just Mickey as best man and Minnie as bridesmaid.

Lollypop701 · 07/06/2022 20:41

Book a holiday for you and kids, go get married and have a barbecue when you get back to celebrate?

theemmadilemma · 07/06/2022 20:44

We're getting married in August. Local registry office which also happens to be a beautiful historic building/room. Just 4 other people - 2 couples, our best friends. We'll be heading off for a slap up meal and it's all done. I'm wearing white shorts! 😁

KindChick · 07/06/2022 20:50

We went to a fairly picturesque town a good distance away (4 hours) had a holiday for 5 days, got married in the register office on the 5th day, 2 witnesses from the hotel we stayed in , couple of more days of holiday then returned home. Told everyone once we got home we had got married. It was absolutely perfect for us, completely chilled, very personal and memorable. I wore a simple summer dress (£32) and husband his suit. I loved my wedding and so many of my friends said they wish they had done the same. Also hotel was cheap and cheerful nothing fancy, we hired bikes and went out cycling every day even on morning of our wedding!

rainbowsandmagpies · 07/06/2022 21:04

I could've written this. We originally wanted just my parents and my husband's mum and sister (dad also passed away). We said that we didn't want his mum to be on her own and my sisters totally understood. In the end my SiL made us feel quite guilty about her partner not being invited so he came and one of my sisters joined us (the others were either 36 weeks pregnant or in Australia). Just got married in a registry office, had a nice lunch out and then said bye to everyone late afternoon and went on our mini honeymoon. We had a zoom so people could be involved if they wanted but they weren't actually there. It was the absolute best.

sleepygal · 07/06/2022 21:21

Some people I know booked the register office and invited 2 friends out for lunch. On the way to lunch they said, oh we just need to pop in here (register office). They got married, 2 friends were surprised witnesses, and then they carried on to have lunch. Easy peasy. You don't even have to tell anyone afterwards, you can make it as low key as you want.

2orangey · 07/06/2022 21:30

Had a low-key wedding back in February. We're both quite shy and prefer not to be centre of attention, and we're on a budget so less is more all round!

Local registry office (which happens to be in a historic building with lovely wood panelled walls and stained glass - we wouldn't have been bothered if it was a more basic building, it was nice in the photos though). The registry office people were so lovely and the ceremony was simple but meaningful.

Just us and the 2 witnesses, the photographer and driver (we paid £400 for them as an 'elopement' package - so glad we did as we have some lovely photos of the ceremony and afterwards in a local park).

We decided against family/friends being there. We had some meals out with them to celebrate at later dates.

Changed into jeans and had a pub meal, then spent the night at a local B and B £95, made sure we had the nicest room with a 4 poster bed.

My dress was £100 ivory colour but not a 'wedding' dress, he wore a suit for once but again not a fancy/expensive one, I bought a bouquet of flowers from a local florist the day before so I'd have something to hold. Oh and we bought some gluten-free carrot cake and champagne from Aldi to help us celebrate together.

All in all it came to about £1000 (including rings, shoes, everything) and honestly I wouldn't charge a thing.

bbqhulahoop · 07/06/2022 21:31

I feel like my mum and DPs dad would be gutted (my dad wouldn't care!) I don't want to upset anyone, just get it done. Most would say we're basically married anyway, so why bother, but I'd like to formalise things. I don't want a ring or proposal, def don't want a dress, just to be us!

OP posts:
bbqhulahoop · 07/06/2022 21:32

2orangey · 07/06/2022 21:30

Had a low-key wedding back in February. We're both quite shy and prefer not to be centre of attention, and we're on a budget so less is more all round!

Local registry office (which happens to be in a historic building with lovely wood panelled walls and stained glass - we wouldn't have been bothered if it was a more basic building, it was nice in the photos though). The registry office people were so lovely and the ceremony was simple but meaningful.

Just us and the 2 witnesses, the photographer and driver (we paid £400 for them as an 'elopement' package - so glad we did as we have some lovely photos of the ceremony and afterwards in a local park).

We decided against family/friends being there. We had some meals out with them to celebrate at later dates.

Changed into jeans and had a pub meal, then spent the night at a local B and B £95, made sure we had the nicest room with a 4 poster bed.

My dress was £100 ivory colour but not a 'wedding' dress, he wore a suit for once but again not a fancy/expensive one, I bought a bouquet of flowers from a local florist the day before so I'd have something to hold. Oh and we bought some gluten-free carrot cake and champagne from Aldi to help us celebrate together.

All in all it came to about £1000 (including rings, shoes, everything) and honestly I wouldn't charge a thing.

This sounds epic x

OP posts:
GroggyLegs · 07/06/2022 21:36

If you don't want the fuss but don't want people to feel left out, could you do it & just not tell anyone?

It depends if you're prepared for rock bottom low key, or if you would still like a little bit of a celebration.

Beachbabe1 · 07/06/2022 21:38

Registry office with 2 witnesses. Lunch after. Throw a bbq/party at the weekend so friends and family can celebtate with you. Perfect! We were worried about people being sad but everyone was so happy for us! Its about you two not everyone else. Do it!

MyfavouriteisA · 07/06/2022 21:49

If you need the legal protection of getting marrried, have you considered a Civil Partnership instead? Gives you both protection yet avoids key family members feeling left out of any wedding plans if there is no marriage ceremony.

Just a thought. Nobody would need to know, unless it came up in conversation, and then you both could explain you did it as a formality to legally and financially protect each other and your children.

This is assuming you’ve not had a burning desire to be married to each other, in which case I’d go along with what others above have suggested.

Good luck!

eenymeenymineymo · 07/06/2022 21:52

We had a v.small wedding at a tiny stone church, only our parents & my 4yr DS came along. My DHs older sister was quite annoyed we hadn't said anything but we def both wanted a tiny & no fuss wedding. She got over it 🤣🤣

We had prepped a dinner for everyone back at our house & I think my Mum took DS home with her so our honeymoon was at home too.
My dress was a brown floral pinafore with an ivory blouse under & DH wore a suit.

I can't remember the costs, probably just the food & marriage licence 🤣
So I guess you can make it super easy & low fuss like mine & other PPs, just do it.

Moosake · 07/06/2022 21:55

Register Office and a pub lunch.