So we are getting married later this year in another country, just a very small ceremony & there will only be a couple of us there. To celebrate with our wider (very large) family, we are having a casual party a few weeks later at a venue near our home where we will have food, drinks and music.
When it comes to the guest list, we were only wanting to invite people we have actually met. The only problem is that my future BIL's fiance has 7 kids - four are step kids and the 3 youngest are his... and we have only ever met 2 of his biological kids.
I think BIL and fiance have been together for about 6 years and we've only ever met her 3(?) times, I'm not sure whether she doesn't like us or doesn't want to get involved in all the family stuff or just can't facilitate it. She doesn't drive although she has never had a job.
For the full picture child number 3 has some severe learning disabilities, I've been told it's not easy to take him out and about due to these disabilities.
I also think I should mention that we have always wanted to meet ALL the kids, we have invited them over for all family gatherings and to come and play with my fiance's kids and other nieces - they only live a 10 minute drive away.
So we have met children numbers 5 & 6 quite a few times, BIL brings to family gatherings, but only the ones that my future FIL hosts & the fiance never comes.
Child 7 was born last year and was quite poorly in the first couple of weeks but has since made a full recovery and I've heard that they're doing really well.
This is getting so long, but my dilemma is who do we invite? From what I've heard child 3 probably wouldn't be coming but if we invited all the kids that would be for his parents to decide anyway. There will probably be between 6 and 10 other kids there.
Our options are:
A - Invite all 9 of them. Whilst I would genuinely love this and for the whole family to be together, my issue is the practicalities with child 3, plus they're notoriously flakey and I can see them saying they're all (or 8) of them are coming then not turning up or only BIL showing up.
B - invite BIL and fiance only, despite the fact that other kids/nieces will be there
C - invite adults and the 3 youngest kids as these are the ones we sort of know and are BIL's biological kids
Or is there an option D?