Who pays for weddings?

[Kumbaya12]

Did anybody have their parents contribute? Or entirely self-funded? What stage of life were you at (young couple, already living together with kids etc)

Just curious

Whoever shows willing

Some parents want to do this, occasionally in whole, maybe by handing over a sum, or by offering to cover some specific bills

I've been married twice - both times were entirely self-funded. Don't really see why it's parent's responsibility to contribute.

I paid. My parents couldn't afford it. Also if they had paid my mother would have dictated everything.
I think parents paying is less common now, my friends have all paid for their own weddings.

I'm paying for the majority of DD wedding, luckily she doesn't have expensive taste 😁 it's a package deal in a hotel.
I've also given her some money for extras which she's used to personalise the wedding.
She's my only DC so it's not too much of a stretch.

My now husband and I paid. We got married last year, we are/were late 20s with no kids and bought a house during lockdown.

We saved for about 3 years (should have been two lol). My mum bought my dress and hosted all the pre-events and DHs parents contributed a bit.

We paid for it ourselves, at that point we were both vastly our earning parents and our parents had both given us a contribution towards first houses instead

If parents would like to contribute then that’s nice but I’d never have the expectation!

My parents paid for our first wedding. We paid for our second. I paid the whole cost of our daughter's wedding. In-laws treated them to a luxury honeymoon.

Self-funded when in early 30s having just self-funded our first house (in the South East) 3 months before the wedding. And I lost my job in between the two, as well. No kids at the time but had been together 11 years and living in sin for at least 6 of those.

That was 5 ish years ago now.

Are you planning a wedding OP?

Are you planning a wedding OP?

Just to add: we didn't ask or expect any contribution from parents to our wedding (or our house) because it was exactly that - our choice.

@fairgame84

I paid. My parents couldn't afford it. Also if they had paid my mother would have dictated everything. I think parents paying is less common now, my friends have all paid for their own weddings.

There is that factor too - paying for myself meant I was completely in control of all decisions, who was invited etc etc and didn't have to take anyone else into account.

We married in our mid to late twenties and entirely self funded.

We paid for our own wedding, at the end of the last century.

My mother gifted me my dress, I chose a pre-loved one.

We're paying the majority ourselves. My parents have generously offered to contribute, but we made sure to plan a wedding we could cover ourselves if need be. We're early 30s and living together, no kids. The timing means my parents have recently received retirement lump sums and an inheritance, so they're in a position to, and want to, help.

DP's parents on the other hand... I'd never expect a contribution but both his siblings got married last year and I know from his sister that their parents gave them very generous contributions. However it doesn't look like they're planning to give us anything. Just seems a little unfair to treat your children differently (and all have had similar levels of support up until now too).

My parents paid 90% I paid for some extras. in-law didn't contribute

My Partner and I got engaged a few months ago and we will be self funding our wedding. Neither of our Parent's could afford it and I wouldn't expect them to, we're the ones choosing to get married.

For where we are in life - we're planning the wedding for next Summer or the following Spring, I'll be mid 20's and my Partner will be early 30's. We have one child and I'm pregnant with our second so will have two children by then and we own our home (with a mortgage)

Mum paid for the lot and dictated everything. Couldn't have done it without her but fucking hell. I still can't watch weddings on tv without feeling stressed. Also our relationship (me and my mums) never recovered.

@Margo34

Self-funded when in early 30s having just self-funded our first house (in the South East) 3 months before the wedding. And I lost my job in between the two, as well. No kids at the time but had been together 11 years and living in sin for at least 6 of those.

That was 5 ish years ago now.

Are you planning a wedding OP?

Are you planning a wedding OP?

Well sort of. DP and I plan to do similar, we want to buy a house first then get married. I’m not from the U.K. however and in my culture parents pay, but weddings are also huge family affairs with everyone not only attending but also helping set up. So it’s cheap. Even food can be made by family (my grandma has a giant pan for outdoor stove 😂😂)

Weddings are far more expensive and formalised In the U.K. so I just wondered what everyone else did.Surely if you’re paying yourself tou can invite family as individuals instead of needing to invite ALL cousins for example or none?
*not to be exclusive but because you only get on as friends with a few

*also sorry for the drip feed but that’s not the main point for me , it was just seeing the cultural differences as well!

Will reply to more posts dw 😂😂

DH & I paid for most and our honeymoon.

My lovely dad paid for the cake and flowers.
Mum helped out with buying 2 bottles of Prosecco at each food shop every week for table drinks and toasts.

Whole wedding cost is 35k and with help from parents and a handful of others we probably paid 30k
(Doesn't include honeymoon)

My parents paid, I was straight out of uni just about to start a job. But we did do things sensibly/on the cheap using favours from friends and family wherever possible.

Both sets of parents contributed, overall about 50% and Dh and I paid the rest.

We paid for our own wedding. We were in our late twenties. Each set of parents did gift us some cash, but only because they wanted to.

My mother made my wedding dress, for which I was extremely grateful. She did a beautiful job and I still have it 29 years later.

DH and I were entirely prepared to pay for our entire wedding. All three sets of parents (mine are divorced) gave us monetary gifts, some of which were spent on additional touches as per their wishes, or on our honeymoon, again as per their wishes. We didn’t need these to pay for anything, but graciously accepted their gifts to begin our married life. Didn’t have any help from our parents when we bought our first home (our choice) so they wanted to put some money towards our wedding/honeymoon instead.

DH and I got married last year. We were 30 and both have ok jobs and own our own home. We paid 1/3, his parents paid 1/3 and my dad paid 1/3 of entire wedding including rings, car etc. My mum paid for my dress and veil and for me and all the bridesmaids hair to be done.

We were lucky. We had 80 guests in attendance and the whole day (minus the stuff my mum paid for) was £15k so not loads in the scheme of UK weddings.

We married late 20s, living together in a flat we had paid for, no kids.

My mother paid for the flowers, my father the transport and my PILs the wine. We paid for everything else. We were expecting to pay for everything, we wouldn't have asked.