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Original poster

When to feed Guests

58 replies

AndTime · 21/09/2021 15:45

I have been on mumsnet long enough to know that feeding your wedding guests is mega important;

We have a 3.30pm wedding ceremony, when realistically will we be feeding our guests? I Imagine 5.30? There will be canapes whilst we do photos but they aren't exactly going to spoil anyone's dinner.

So if the meal lasts till 7.30ish? at a guess then evening guests will arrive about 8pm maybe 8.30.

We are thinking of doing bacon baps and wedges at 10pm (with a vegge option) . The cake will be cut and available to eat also.

Is this a) Too late for the evening guests? b) not enough food for the evening guests

We have the option for a buffet but if the day guests are eating at a regular meal time (or there about's) would they really want a buffet?

OP posts:

DominicRaabsTravelAgent · 21/09/2021 16:12

Are you having a formal "Wedding Breakfast"? It's very late if you are. I also think it's a bit late to be feeding your evening guests, you usually feed them about 9pm don't you? This lets the younger and older ones have something. Most people will have had something very light or possibly nothing in the evening before coming, I know I would lady that late myself.

GroggyLegs · 21/09/2021 16:18

I agree, I'd feed the evening guests at 9.

I would be surprised if all your day guests want evening food if dinner finishes at 7.30, so focus on the evening people.

rookiemere · 21/09/2021 16:20

compromise- 9.30 for evening buffet

Comedycook · 21/09/2021 16:22

I don't think it's enough food for the evening guests and if it is enough, it's not particularly special. I'd be gutted if all I got was bacon rolls and potato wedges

DominicRaabsTravelAgent · 21/09/2021 16:26

I don't think it's enough food for the evening guests and if it is enough, it's not particularly special. I'd be gutted if all I got was bacon rolls and potato wedges

I did think that as well. It's a CBA meal here.

Original poster

AndTime · 21/09/2021 16:27

Yes the traditional wedding breakfast will be served at 5.30, I can't see us getting in any earlier if the ceremony is at 3.30

I thought earlier would be better for the evening guests but then the day guests would still be full up.

Good point about the children. I won't be inviting any additional children for the evening on my side but can check with DP on his side.

OP posts:

Comedycook · 21/09/2021 16:28

My friend had bacon rolls in the evening part of her wedding and it was great as an extra after we'd all had a big three course meal but if it was just that, I'd be a bit miffed

HungryHippo11 · 21/09/2021 16:28

@Comedycook

I don't think it's enough food for the evening guests and if it is enough, it's not particularly special. I'd be gutted if all I got was bacon rolls and potato wedges

We had bacon butties for our evening food, they went down very well. Things like pizza or hog roast are pretty standard evening food, if its not being served until 9pm most people will have already eaten and all the day time guests have just had a huge 3 course meal. What would you be expecting?

rookiemere · 21/09/2021 16:30

I think bacon rolls are fine provided they are not pre spread with ghastly margarine. Evening guests will have eaten before they came and full wedding guests will only have eaten a few hours before.
Are you also going to be serving some wedding cake, as that always goes down well ?

Original poster

AndTime · 21/09/2021 16:30

We can have a buffet if we choose, just thought it might go to waste if the day guests have just had a three course meal.

This is why I am asking here, there is so much to think about.

My brother recently had his wedding and they had sit down meal at 4.30 then burgers I think about 10pm but they were barley touched. No evening buffet.

OP posts:

purpleboy · 21/09/2021 16:30

As long as your guests know the timings of the food then they can prepare as appropriate, just do what you want and make sure it's well communicated so your guests know in advance what to expect.

rookiemere · 21/09/2021 16:31

Are you having many evening guests? That would sway my answer possibly.

LaLaLouella · 21/09/2021 16:31

Serving bacon rolls in the evening on the grounds your day guests have been fed a substantial and delicious wedding breakfast just reinforces how second class you feel your evening guests are....

Original poster

AndTime · 21/09/2021 16:32

Butter all the way, I can't stand margarine!

Cake definitely to be cut and placed on the tables so everyone can help themselves.

OP posts:

NeilBuchananisBanksy · 21/09/2021 16:33

I think given the timing of your wedding, having separate evening guests won't really work.

I know MN hates the evening guest thing, we did have them but our wedding was at midday so plenty of time for both snd no awkwardness.

I went to an evening do once and the main wedding party was still eating. It felt weird hanging at the back watching people eat. It also meant we didn't get fed until really late.

Can you alter timings or have everyone there for the whole thing?

Original poster

AndTime · 21/09/2021 16:36

@LaLaLouella that is what I am worried about!

I will be inviting maybe 10 evening guests but DP will be inviting an additional 46 although I wouldn't expect them all to come.

OP posts:

Original poster

AndTime · 21/09/2021 16:39

That would be a nightmare if they turned up and we were still eating. Something else to consider!

It wouldn't be possible to afford so many extra people. I think they are mostly cousins etc of DP so he doesn't really want to invite them but feels like he has too, hence evening only.

My evening guests are my colleagues and we wouldn't be able to all have the time off together.

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LaLaLouella · 21/09/2021 16:46

I've been to a wedding which overran and ended up with all the evening guests having to wait outside while the speeches finished - it was pretty awkward all round...

It sounds like you have quite a few evening only guests, could you do something a bit more interesting like a cheese/biscuits/pate/desserts buffet? I'd also make sure you are very specific about timings/food etc on the invites so people can eat food beforehand (or not!).

And try not to overrun timings - easier said than done!

chesirecat99 · 21/09/2021 16:49

Bacon baps are very heavy... I would expect most of the evening guests will have had dinner before they come and won't want a bacon bap either. Not that that is an excuse not to cater for them.

Could you have a light buffet with lots of cold options so people can nibble as and when? Most people won't want a bacon bap a few hours after the wedding breakfast but would probably like some nibbles to soak up the alcohol later in the evening.

FuckingFabulous · 21/09/2021 16:52

We married at 2, had canapés and reception drinks from 2:45 to 3:30. Wedding breakfast at 4pm. Retired for coffee/champagne at 6pm. Evening do at 7, buffet served at 8pm and replenished until midnight. Lots of people said it was lovely timing for all the food, especially as evening guests turn up also expecting to be fed. I went to a wedding with no evening buffet and it sucked.

Comedycook · 21/09/2021 16:55

I would expect most of the evening guests will have had dinner before they come

I completely disagree with this. I think they'll expect to be fed and won't have eaten. We were evening guests to a wedding and we didn't have dinner. When we got there, there was a buffet which had been demolished! We were left with a tiny amount and were starving.

chipsandpeas · 21/09/2021 16:57

@AndTime

That would be a nightmare if they turned up and we were still eating. Something else to consider!

It wouldn't be possible to afford so many extra people. I think they are mostly cousins etc of DP so he doesn't really want to invite them but feels like he has too, hence evening only.

My evening guests are my colleagues and we wouldn't be able to all have the time off together.

i was a evening guest at a wedding where things were running late and when we all turned up the meal was still happening was a tad awkward we were all hanging about outside while everyone was still eating

Original poster

AndTime · 21/09/2021 16:57

The 3.30 ceremony is not negotiable unfortunately, which is what is making everything so difficult! I would have preferred a 2pm wedding.

OP posts:

AvantGardening · 21/09/2021 16:58

I quite like the idea of hot butties and wedges for evening food.

Having said that you do risk the day guests not eating it.

Are you set on having a traditional three course wedding breakfast around 5.30?

Could you change the time of the ceremony, or are the invites already out?

You could do substantial canapés around 5-6

Evening guests arrive at 7

Something like an Indian buffet for all guests at 7.30

Then cake cut and served at 9ish

Original poster

AndTime · 21/09/2021 16:58

I would absolutely hate anyone to be hungry. I am very food orientated and love to be fed.

OP posts:

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