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Original poster

Can a two year old walk me down the aisle?

35 replies

missrhib · 03/08/2021 13:32

I'm not close to my parents, and so I thought it would be more meaningful for my son, who will be 2 and almost a half when we get married, to walk me down the aisle. I even thought that the vicar could ask instead 'who brings this mummy to be married to this daddy?' or something, to which he could answer 'I do'. However, right now at 19 months old he isn't good at holding hands with you and walking, he prefers to run off in the opposite direction. Will he be capable of walking me down the aisle by the time he reaches 2? Has anyone had their young child walk down the aisle either with them or as part of the procession? Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
newlabelwriter · 03/08/2021 13:35

Mine did and it was lovely. He says it was first memory, I'm not sure as obviously lots of photos. It was all a bit chaotic but I still loved it. He definitely wasn't in charge of the rings though ;)

Barwell76 · 03/08/2021 13:38

It depends on the child but my ds was a page boy at 3 1/4 and had to be carried down the aisle by and adult bridesmaid as he didnt want to walk down it.

burritofan · 03/08/2021 13:38

I think so long as you let go of perfection or trying to script it and have him supply a certain answer, it would be lovely.

Just accept he might suddenly sit down, or hide under your dress, or run off to see something fun, or want to be carried. All of which will be fine if you’re fine with it! A 2.5 year old probably won’t understand (or care) that when the vicar says X, they say Y, and mummy walks off: more like vicar says X, they shout “I saw a tree! Carry me now”, and you get married with a toddler on your hip. Grin

girlmom21 · 03/08/2021 13:51

Of course your toddler can walk you down the aisle! Don't expect him to be scripted and embrace the fact you're relying on a toddler to give you away and you'll have a fantastic day!

Immaculatemisconception · 03/08/2021 13:55

My son was two when he was a page boy. So long as teddy came, with a button hole, he was fine and did everything in a very grown up fashion.

HungryHippo11 · 03/08/2021 13:59

Of course he can, as long as you don't expect it to go perfectly. He might not want to at the last minute or might want to be carried or be held by Daddy rather than you.
The vows can be whatever you want - you can take out the "who gives..." part altogether if you want.

HumourReplacementTherapy · 03/08/2021 17:59

Mine did, he was a little bit older, 3yrs &3 months.
He was as proud as can be with a big smile on his face, walked in and burst out with "nanan!!!! What are you doing here?!" "Hello auntie Jane! What are you doing here?!" All the way up the aisle saying hello to all he recognised and laughed his head off.
It was lovely, everyone was laughing.

gogohm · 03/08/2021 18:12

If it's a church, make sure you visit a few times so he's familiar with it, sounds a lovely idea and he's likely to be no less predictable than the cockerpoo ring bearer last week who shot off into the grave yard!

Scarby9 · 03/08/2021 18:20

I think there is much more chance of walking down the aisle with you, or being carried down the aisle by you, than walking down on his own carrying a cushion with the rings, which YouTube has taught me is not a good idea...

Pegasusmail · 03/08/2021 18:23

I think that would be gorgeous.
I've seen heart shaped hanging signs he could hold 'Daddy here comes Mummy'

louisvillelou · 03/08/2021 18:29

Lovely to have your 2yr old coming down the aisle with you, and it sounds adorable!

Just to warn you, if it’s a church wedding you won't be able to change the words of the service - it's a legally binding ceremony and the wording cannot be changed, though there are some small variations to choose from between Common Worship, 1929 prayer book, BCP etc.

(Source: DH is a vicar and has married countless people!)

trumpisagit · 03/08/2021 18:39

DS was older than 2 but he still hid under my dress.
Don't expect too much, I think asking him to say something is unlikely to be successful with everyone looking.
I would have a second option of sitting with favourite Auntie if he prefers.

Viviennemary · 03/08/2021 18:40

It would be ridiculous.

Gooseberrypies · 03/08/2021 18:46

@Viviennemary

It would be ridiculous.
Why?
Kite22 · 03/08/2021 18:49

You can walk down the aisle with whoever you want, or you can walk down on your own if you want or you can walk with your dp if you want.

However I think you are fanaticising if you think such a young child will reliably follow a script like that. So it depends if you would be happy if he hides, or freezes, or cries, or says something altogether different or says nothing, of if that would 'spoil' your idea of how it "should" go.
The one things very predictable about toddlers is that they won't do what you hope for, if it is an important moment.

CoronaPeroni · 03/08/2021 18:53

My friends walked down the aisle together with their toddler leading the way carrying their rings on a small silver tray. One of the grandparents was beckoning him on from the front and it all worked perfectly!

RhodesianRidgeback · 03/08/2021 18:54

It’s a lovely idea but you just can’t plan anything important around a 2 and a half year old.

He might do it perfectly.

He might refuse point blank, or start walking then find it all overwhelming and start sobbing or have a full blown tantrum, or decide it’s the perfect moment to declare he needs a poo, or anything.

It’s just not predictable as they’re basically crazy at that age.

Dyrne · 03/08/2021 18:56

Agree with others - if you’re happy that it’s extremely unlikely to play out as you outline in your OP, go for it! I do think the likelihood of him responding to a script is pretty much zero though.

Maybe practice a smooth handoff to a bridesmaid if it looks like he’s about to kick off Grin

TerribleCustomerCervix · 03/08/2021 19:12

As long as it won’t ruin the day if he doesn’t co-operate.

Two weddings I’ve been involved with have featured brides in tears on the day because of toddler page boys refusing to either wear a suit or walk up the aisle- and they weren’t their mums, so it wasn’t as emotional as your own situation!

WhateverHappenedToFayWray · 03/08/2021 19:19

@Viviennemary

It would be ridiculous.
No it wouldn't
trumpisagit · 03/08/2021 20:49

Do you really want someone to give you away though?
Me, DH and kids all walked in together. It felt right. Being given away is a bit weird after all.

Original poster
missrhib · 04/08/2021 09:22

Thanks for the replies everyone!

Honestly, if he didn't react as hoped I think that would be okay. Even if he had a tantrum or ran or anything, itd be a funny story to tell and he'd still have brought me to marry his dad. I have back ups in mind, like asking my nan to give me away or maybe my nan carry my son so they both do it.
I don't think it's ridiculous to have my son walk with me, even if he didn't react as hoped. He's a massive part of my life and the most important man in my life next to my fiance. My parents have made it clear they won't be coming to the wedding, so I'd much prefer my son, who loves us both, to bring us together, even if imperfectly.
Plus, I'd be okay with him stealing the show because I'm definitely going to get stage fright, I'm not good with people - so if more eyes are on my adorable son, all the better 😂

Thanks again for the responses guys!

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 06/08/2021 18:50

Don't get the vicar to say who gives this mummy.... it's nauseating!

Toddlerteaplease · 06/08/2021 18:54

and if it's a church wedding, the PP who said you can't change the words is correct.

Words · 06/08/2021 19:02

This suggestion makes me feel a bit squirmy and uncomfortable if I am honest. I can't quite explain why - it just feels hugely wrong. But it's your wedding! My dogs came to mine - but they didn't give me away - no one did that!

May be worth bearing in mind there might well be a small minority present who find it strangely repellent rather than endearing.