@breadbinbaby
I have to say, in writing our contingency 30 list in case restrictions don’t lift, it wouldn’t have occurred to me not to include my brother’s girlfriend (who he doesn’t even live with yet). She was included as part of the non-negotiable family number before we started adding friends on, but I know not everyone sees family as an automatic priority in that way which is fair enough. In my family, I would be beyond hurt if my HTB wasn’t included in my sibling’s wedding even with an imposed limit of 30 and I’d have to think very hard about whether or not to go myself. I have a thing about wedding invitations being based on whether you’re married or not - I think it’s a bit rich for a couple who won’t even be married themselves til halfway through the day of the wedding to make that decision weeks or months in advance, as if it’s the definitive sign of commitment.
Yes but that does depend on family size, doesn't it?? It's fairly simple to see how the maths might change this...
If I had one sibling and my future partner was an only child, we had parents and no grandparents, my sibling's partner would be a fairly automatic yes. We'd have: 2 parents x2 (4) , sibling/spouse x2 (2), no grandparents, maybe 1 or 2 aunts/uncles, plenty of room for friends.
We are probably looking at 8 core "must" family invites, so plenty of room for partners and friends.
VS
I am one of four children (so 3 other partners), my fiancé is one of four (3 partners, 4 kids), we have parents 2 of whom have remarried (so 6 parents total), all 4 grandparents alive, multiple close aunts/uncles who are like parents.
We might be looking at MORE THAN 30 core family invites, without even looking at BFs/GFs or super close, essential friends. In which case a GF of 2 years can absolutely do one.