I don’t want family at our wedding

[Motherbride]

Hey! So my partner and I recently got engaged, which is really exciting! We have 3 young children and I can’t wait for us to all share the same name and be a ‘proper’ family.

The only thing is, we can’t agree on HOW to get married. We both know we’re not bothered about the big fairytale English wedding and frankly we don’t want to spend that much on a wedding we feel like we’re doing for everyone but us! I’m not into being the centre of attention and I have social anxiety so it’s just not my thing. I would love to have just us 5, go away to the mountains in Canada or somewhere beautiful and get married just us, the registrar and a photographer. Then have a party when we get back with family and friends, like the evening part of a normal wedding.
However, my partner wants his mom there. Which I get, but then they would have to come on the trip with us and we would have to invite my parents and then our siblings and bla bla bla it gets bigger and bigger.

We can’t seem to come to an agreement about it, any ideas to help us out?

Also how young is young?

DH and I have 3 young kids. There's no way we could stand there looking lovingly into each others eyes and assume when we looked back that the kids would be sat there nicely.... Are they old enough to understand and to sit there?

OP, I understand your reticence. I had a similar issue. In the end, we went away to Scotland and didn't invite anybody. Much less stressful than my sister stressing over how everything as to be perfect. Invited a couple of mates to be witnesses, job done. There were a few miserable faces but they didn't last long.

@SleepingStandingUp we haven’t intentionally kept them apart, there just hasn’t been many instances where they’ve been together. Of course when they have they’ve been amicable and pleasant, but seeing each other at a family bbq or birthday party is very different to spending 3+ days together on a trip which is what would happen if we combined both of our ideals!

Our children would be young, about 6, 5 and 3 when we do it.. but I’m not worried about it being picture perfect or them sitting still etc

id compromise with somewhere you can get to, get married, stay overnight and leave in the morning. give them the choice of coming. you say you don't want your parents partners so make it clear to both and let them make their own choice. then do Canada for the honeymoon.
it will also mean that you can concentrate on your vows, not where the 3 yo has wandered off to, and if you plan it right split the grandkids between the grandparents overnight and you might even get to consummate your marriage!