Big/Expensive wedding -Regret or remember?

[emma8t4]

I’m looking for peoples opinions. Our background is both of us have been married before, my first wedding was abroad for budget reasons followed by big party at home. Fiancé had a traditional day, local church followed by local venue, wedding breakfast speeches etc etc.

We would both like a proper wedding to invite all our friends/family to celebrate dfiancé would like a wedding where he has an input (he didn’t last time, felt like he just turned up in the day) I would like the experience that I didn’t get last time.

Sooo... we have fallen in love with a venue which is expensive but we can afford it but compared to other places we could afford a wedding plus a holiday. The other places feel like a compromise in terms of how we see our day.

So my question is those if you who went all out for their dream wedding did you regret it when you look back and think of the day you could have had plus what extra things (holiday/house deposit/baby etc) you up could have afforded or are you happy with how much you spent/day you had??

Not going to be commenting again after comments like give my head a wobble, how rude.

And just in case anyone is worrying the kids won’t be left destitute and neither will their future education suffer 😡

@emma8t4

If a big wedding is what you want, then do it. You sound very sensible to me and have weighed up the advantages and costs etc. If you’re not going into debt over it, I see no reason not to!

I love weddings ( of all shapes and sizes) and it sounds to me that you are planning a wonderful day that will be memorable for both you and your guests.

We had a big wedding and spent a lot on it, but like you, we didn’t go into debt over it and already had house etc. We have big families and wanted to celebrate with them, but we are also massive foodies and so a lot if our money went on food and wine. Some people would say that was a waste, but it was what we wanted for our day. We have no regrets at all and have wonderful memories. Our families often reminisce about the day too as it’s not often they have the opportunity to get together on such a scale. I say go for it! 🥰

I marked in the invites all the places people could stop for lunch on the way (in case they weren't local....marked places around the hotels as well as some picnic stops)
@emma8t4 - we also did tea/coffee station arrival for those who travelled. And I got some big boxes of crisps that people could help themselves to....they all went. Canapés came out almost straight after the wedding.....we had slider burgers, sushi, mac and cheese bites etc etc We had minimal formal photos so that everyone could just relax ASAP and kids could play.

For those saying why would you do it when you have kids.....because it gives fabulous memories. Our wedding was as much for them as us. (How can it not be....we are a family).

We've never done a Florida type Disney holiday...and this was equivalent cost....but had all our closest friends and family there. Memories to treasure forever.

@emma8t4 Mumsnet is weird about weddings - if you don't sneak off to a register office in old jeans with strangers as witnesses then you are some sort bridezilla. Asking anyone to your wedding is tantamount to putting a gun to their head and demands 100's of pounds from them. In the real world lots of people like getting wedding invitations and those that don't politely decline.
I had a message from a friend out of the blue the other week because he had heard a song that was used at our ceremony on the radio and it made him think of us and our wedding and brought back happy memories of the day for him. This is a 50 year old blokey bloke 20 years after our wedding not some giddy wedding obsessed teenaged girl.
Have the day you want, celebrate your love with everyone that is important to you and make joyous memories.

We had a biggish wedding - 100 people for the day, 160 for the night. It wasn't the most expensive venue but it wasn't cheap either and like you we chose it because they were flexible about how we organised the day and also had enough room to put everyone up who wanted to stay.
It's 15 years ago now and I'm so glad we did it. We had a fabulous day. If I had my time again I wouldn't change a thing. We had a nice honeymoon too but it's the wedding memories I think back to - spending time with everybody together was really special.
You sound sensible and like you have a good handle on your finances. If you can afford it and it's what you both want then go for it.