Autumn/Winter 2020 corona brides (and grooms!) Pity Party

[CoronaBride2020]

As there were so many of us on the thread I started yesterday I thought we could do with our own dedicated Pity Party thread. If you’re a fellow bride/groom/non-binary soon-to-be-wedded person anxiously waiting to see whether their wedding will be able to take place in the coming months then please step right this way, grab an L plate and novelty straw and share your woes here!

Words of comfort and consideration from those not about to get married are also welcome but please, for the love of god, refrain from saying any of the following:

1. ‘Why don’t you just get married and get it over with?’ (Yes that is what we are all trying to do!!!)

2. ‘You can have a big party next year instead!’ (Hahaha great another event to plan, thanks but no thanks)

3. ‘It’s the marriage that’s important, not the wedding’ (Anyone who says this will be immediately pelted with willy straws).

Rant away my friends!

I’ll start... I’m actually feeling WAY better today and the thread yesterday helped a tonne (even with some slightly infuriating and one or two downright rude responses) so thank you everyone! I’m just taking it one day at a time now and trying to focus on self care and staying calm. I’m sure I’ll have another wobble or two before the day itself (13 days to go and counting) and I’m pretty anxious about what tomorrow’s announcement might bring, but the closer we get the more I’ll start to believe it might actually be happening!

I'll join you!

Today's news hasn't really settled my nerves and I think I'll feel like this until the day itself.

We are now planning for what will happen if we can't have a reception at all ... hampers for guests to take home?

Welcome littlesugarmonkey! Yep I know exactly what you mean. I’m trying to feel excited rather than anxious but it’s so hard!

With 11 days to go we’re in a Medium area but some of our guests are coming from a High that could well go up to a Very High so we’re not sure what happens if that’s the case! We’re prepared to get married no matter what, with whoever can make it, and even with just witnesses of it comes to that, but it’s so stressful being this close and still not knowing.

I keep getting dizzy and lightheaded from the stress (have been to the doc and had tonnes of tests which confirmed there’s nothing more sinister to it) and I’m just so worried I’m going to feel like that on the day itself and won’t make it through the wedding I’m sure that won’t be the case but it’s what my brain keeps fixating on!

We are in a high area (North East) but in consultation to go into very high. I'm crossing my fingers that we won't as that will mean no reception.

My real fear however is that with over 4 weeks to go, it's still possible that weddings will be cancelled again completely.

I've developed eczema for the first time in my life and haven't slept for weeks now. I'm usually really laid back and am just not used to feeling so anxious but at the same time I'm just so excited to be planning our wedding!

Our guests are coming from the North East! I’m hearing conflicting things about whether or not people can travel from a Very High area to attend a wedding, I guess the guidance and rules will probably be updated in the next few days.

I’m getting less concerned that weddings will be 100% cancelled again but god you just never know do you? So many things have happened this year that people swore wouldn’t happen! So I’m just not going to believe anything any more!

I’m sleeping ok for now but spend the days feeling so on edge and my appetite is very low which is unheard of for me! My GP gave me beta blockers for the anxiety and they do seem to help but I don’t like the idea of taking them every day from now until the wedding so I’m trying to save them for when I really really need them.

People must think we sound crazy getting soooo stressed about a wedding but it’s hard to describe how much all this uncertainty and replanning wreaks havoc on your brain!

Well now this fucking rumoured ‘circuit breaker’ lockdown is supposedly due to start ON our wedding day! I give up, I really do.

I really do support doing whatever it takes to stop the virus so I feel shitty complaining about it but at the same time, I just want to be married! I want to get through whatever happens next with my husband, after being engaged for over two years now and postponing our original wedding from the spring.

I have to say my heart dropped when I read the news this morning. It such a rollercoaster isn't it? I'm firmly in the anti-lockdown camp for various reasons but ffs a decision that is stuck to would be nice instead of this uncertainty and mind changing all of the time.

@CoronaBride2020 - Snap, we have the same wedding date AND guests coming from High area (teetering on Very High). Add some of the only guests we invited with Covid-19 symptoms who are isolating past our wedding date and the Circuit break date rumoured to take place ON our wedding date and you've got yourself a shit show! Ta daaaaa! *Also writing this post so late/early as I've no longer been able to sleep through the night (anxiety insomnia alarm at 3.30 am every morning it seems since last weekend...) but found your post and quite frankly, it really is a breath of fresh air x How are you feeling about things? (Aware this changes every hour of the day )

I’m so hoping any new rules don’t affect weddings.

Hopefully im getting married on Sunday. But like littlesugarmonkey we actually at one point seriously considered giving everyone picnic hampers and having a socially distanced reception in cars. Sounds ridiculous but when they banned gathering in houses and outside and our venue has put all their staff on furlough.

We’ve got another reception venue and I’m on pins just want to get it done.

All the people I’ve spoken to reception staff wedding venue staff florists etc are so so upset at the constant changing rules. They’ve been really badly hit financially.

I hope we all get married and amazing days.

Oh Ratchet101 we are corona wedding twins! I’m feeling much better actually although it’s all relative these days.

Did you postpone or is this your original wedding date? We were supposed to get married in the spring and we foolishly thought that postponing by 7 months would mean Covid was well and truly gone by now. How naive we were! But it means I’ve had this wedding on my mind for so long now and I don’t mind saying I am well and truly sick of thinking about it.

I veer between stressing that the wedding won’t happen and stressing that if it does happen, I’ll be so overwhelmed I won’t be able to cope. Having barely socialised all year I just can’t picture myself putting on a wedding dress, getting dolled up and getting through a wedding! But that fear is diminishing slowly the closer it gets. It’s like a form of agoraphobia or something and it’s horrible.

frazzled you are so close now, this is the home stretch! I hope you’re able to get a tiny bit excited with just these few days left to go. Do come back next week and tell us what a lovely day you had!

Well we’re now in Tier 2 which means the wedding and reception can still go ahead but this ‘household mixing’ stuff is a right pain! People don’t generally turn up at a wedding then go straight home again, we have family coming for the whole weekend who I guess are now expected to just... sit in their separate hotel rooms for the rest of the trip?! Or meet for damp and chilly picnics outside in groups of six? God it’s such a farce isn’t it.

But anyway, we’re pressing on! I cannot tell you how much I need this wedding to just be DONE now!

@CoronaBride2020 Twins indeed! I'm now going to try to convince myself that 24 is a lucky number

We are actually probably considered one of the lucky few. We were about to put a deposit down somewhere for next year, when this all kicked off, so we thought we'd wait. After awhile, we agreed we could do something small now and book a big wedding another time. Take the pressure off. So we have quickly had to give notice, book registrars etc and the earliest we could get everything done was mid October - we figured 30 people weddings were probably still possible. Since then, there has been a spiral of changes that have made us, not question our decision, but realise how complicated the situation has become. I don't know how you and all these other brides have been holding it together for so long. You've all been so resilient and I can't imagine what this time has been like.
@frazzledasarock @littlesugarmonkey @CoronaBride2020
I'm really looking forward to hearing about everyone's special days, I'm currently on very positive vibes!

I don't know how you and all these other brides have been holding it together for so long. You've all been so resilient and I can't imagine what this time has been like.

Oh thank you for saying that! That means a lot actually. I have never ever been a ‘bridezilla’ type so I feel guilty some days for getting so worked up over a wedding with everything else going on in the world, but it really IS so stressful. If I wasn’t going through it myself and I was watching a friend getting this upset then I’d probably be thinking ‘wow you need to get some perspective’ but it really is all-consuming isn’t it?

I think you’ve done exactly the right thing and well done for getting in there! Some days I feel so pissed off that I wasted so much energy on wedding planning but then other days I feel bad for people who didn’t even get the fun side of that before everything went pear shaped.

I’m feeling a real sense of calm descending now which I’m going to try to cling onto for as long as possible! I even got my head back in the game earlier and managed to send some wedding-related emails which I absolutely could not have done in the middle of my meltdown last week, so I guess I must be feeling better

@frazzledasarock Turns out you're my Corona Wedding twin! How can Sunday feel so far away! This weekend I need to pack everything for the wedding next week as we are travelling to our wedding destination in the UK but I'm weirdly terrified that this will jinx everything! I'm a ball of anxiety anytime Boris does a press Conference!

@Wineneeded247 congratulations

I’m so gritting my teeth expecting the worst.

My MIL has come up (she’s rented an air bnb).

DP & best man are due to stay at a hotel tomorrow.

I’ve been doggedly going thro my tick list I am ignoring everything else right now, I’m so nervous that there’ll be another announcement at 11:45pm on Saturday.

Today we received wedding gifts. Completely unexpectedly. We’re incredibly grateful to those who can make it as everyone is really going out of their way to follow rules and be there.

Feeling a mix of excited and worried.

Good luck for Sunday 🤞

I wish all of you well - & whatever your wedding ends up being like - just want to give you the same advice I was given 25 years ago - make the most of every single minute on the day - it goes in what seems like a flash - try to put the other stuff to one side & just enjoy the day with your partner

OK I know that sounds trite , but well meant - enjoy your days

All best to all

@frazzledasarock Aww you are going to have a wonderful day! There shall be no last minute announcements other than mine, which is that I've got confused and my wedding is a week on Sunday, the 25th!
I'll blame that on the stress and Boris like I now blame everything else!
Sunday will be perfect and if your partner can cope with you during this last few weeks (if you've been anything like me!) then you know that this relationship will last!
Enjoy the excitement and nerves, Sunday is definitely going ahead! I'm definitely an emotional wreck as I feel all excited and teary for you!

Aww frazzled you got this! You’re home and dry now! Have a wonderful day!

Thank you Basilisk! At the moment having it over and done with in a flash sounds like an absolute dream to be honest, as I am so sick of thinking about it, but hopefully on the day itself I will be able to properly appreciate every minute!

I’ve just been replying to some emails from the caterer confirming various things and there’s still this part of my brain going ‘ugh what’s the point, it’s not even going to happen!’ but it’s definitely getting quieter with every day that passes!

@frazzledasarock Have a wonderful day!! Now it's time to breathe deep and relax into it all. So excited for you!

Congratulations to you all getting married this weekend x x us Corona brides are a strong resilient bunch!!!!

frazzledasarock have the most amazing day tomorrow!!!

We did it.

Right up to the last minute I was so worried something would happen to stop us from getting married.

On Friday my MIL came up to an air bnb near us and promptly had a visit from police as a neighbour had reported a party happening at the house she was at. It was only MIL in her PJ’s watching strictly with a take away!

So that worried me as my best woman had come to stay with us on Friday. But thankfully my neighbours aren’t arseholes.

DP stayed at a hotel with his best man and wasn’t allowed to dinner with or breakfast with him but the hotel served them at adjacent tables.

It was so crazy and insane.

But the ceremony was so so lovely the officiant really wanted us to mean the vows to eachother and I might have started crying whilst making my vows.

DP god DH now!!!! Kept messing about whilst we did pictures but it was immediate family and our two best friends and it was such a laugh and lovely.

And the bloody cat escaped as we were about to leave for the ceremony, and my best woman ended chasing it round the estate with her skirt tucked into her knickers in bare feet, which was hilarious looking back but we were both ‘get that stupid cat inside before we leave’ panic mode (he’s an indoor cat but was going to look for his daddy).

And DH’s parents who have not spoken to eachother since they split actually had a conversation with eachother and MIL spoke to SMIL & it was the nicest moment.

Jolly glad it’s done.

Good luck everyone, enjoy your day.

It’s not the day we imagined but for us it was perfect.

Oh my god frazzled I’m so so happy for you!! All of that sounds both stressful and hilarious in equal measure! Your poor MIL and what a twatty neighbour to report her for watching Strictly!

Well bloody done for getting through it, I hope you can relax now and enjoy some well earned rest with your new husband!

Hooray!! Congratulations @frazzledasarock. I'm so glad you had such a lovely day, and I love that what might have seemed stressful at the time is now a funny tale to look back on (bloody cat! :D) Can't believe the neighbours with your MIL! FFS... Although that did make me laugh outloud! It sounds like you had such a wonderful day - chuffed for you both! Xxxx

@Ratchet101 @Wineneeded247 how are you feeling this week? I think... think... I might actually be a tiny bit excited now?!

There’s still the underlying fear that something will change before Saturday but it’s feeling less and less likely now, I think Tier 2 is here to stay for a little while.

I’ve been back on the ‘wedmin’ train and we had a fun morning putting together gift bags for our guests, which I wouldn’t have been able to bring myself to do a week ago so I guess I must be starting to believe it might actually be happening now!