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Original poster

Toddler at wedding...

49 replies

Molly564 · 06/10/2019 18:16

Would it be rude if we left the wedding as the evening guests arrive to take DC (18 months old) back home to bed. We can’t afford to stay at the hotel where the wedding is and it’s a half an hour drive home.

OP posts:
RolytheRhino · 06/10/2019 18:17

I hope not because I did this recently!

Aquamarine1029 · 06/10/2019 18:17

There isn't anyone at home who can babysit?

Windydaysuponus · 06/10/2019 18:18

Would you consider taking a buggy? Ds slept in a corner quite unexpectedly at mine!!

SummerHouse · 06/10/2019 18:19

One of you could stay if it was say a close friend or family? But no, not rude.

shoofly · 06/10/2019 18:20

I'd be delighted that you'd had the consideration to take a tired child home and grateful that you'd been there to celebrate for most of the day

Original poster
Molly564 · 06/10/2019 18:29

I am a bridesmaid but it isn’t an option for one of us to go and one to stay. My parents have been invited to the evening and other parents couldn’t come to get DC from wedding venue so there are no babysitters.

OP posts:
RiddleyW · 06/10/2019 18:31

Couldn’t your partner take DC home and you stay a bit and get a cab later?

Aquamarine1029 · 06/10/2019 18:31

Truthfully, is it that big a deal if the baby stays up late? Take your pram and they will probably fall asleep anyway. One late night won't do any harm.

Fishcakey · 06/10/2019 18:32

Toddlers at weddings are awful! So not rude. Everyone will be glad Wink

Jamhandprints · 06/10/2019 18:32

I don't think it would be rude.

RolytheRhino · 06/10/2019 18:33

Truthfully, is it that big a deal if the baby stays up late?

Depends on the kid, really. For some kids it's not an issue and some would at least nap in a pram. Mine is usually an absolute delight but will be fussy, shouty and constantly in tears if overtired. Not worth it.

surreygirl1987 · 06/10/2019 18:45

I wouldn't have my 1 year old up past bedtime - he'd be awful. It does depend on the baby though. If he was the type to happily fall asleep in his buggy, I'd be delighted.

That said, if I was a bridesmaid, I would put every effort into finding someone to babysit as you are clearly very important to the bride and groom. If you were just a ransom work colleague they'd invited to be polite that would be different and you could slip away unnoticed.

Eliza1020 · 06/10/2019 19:09

But who do I ask? And how does DC get back home?

BackforGood · 06/10/2019 19:23

I was going to say this
I'd be delighted that you'd had the consideration to take a tired child home and grateful that you'd been there to celebrate for most of the day until your drip feed about you being a bridesmaid.

As you have agreed to be bridesmaid, then why not get your dh to take your little one home at the crossover between day and evening time, then either get a taxi or get your parents to take you home at the end of the night ?

Napqueen1234 · 06/10/2019 19:31

I do think if you’re a bridesmaid you should make the effort to stay it’s a bit shitty not to. Even if that means taking two taxis or worse case DH bunging toddler in the car to sleep at midnight to come pick you up. It’s clearly someone close to you!

SimpleAndPlanned · 06/10/2019 19:40

Try buggy first. Such a stimulating day the wee one could conk out even if they don't usually. Then if that fails you can go home? Take ear defenders for little one.

surreygirl1987 · 07/10/2019 09:31

Yes, or personally I'd probably see if there was any way of managing not taking my son at all. That might make it easier. Obviously childcare can be a pain to organise (we don't have any family nearby so it takes a big effort to plan!) but if there's a possibility then at least you'll be free to focus on being a bridesmaid. Lots of weddings are child-free anyway.

surreygirl1987 · 07/10/2019 09:34

Oh wow also I just saw you are suggesting leaving as the evening guests arrive? I'd be gutted if one of my bridesmaids missed the whole evening! Also you're only half an hour away from home anyway?!

KellyHall · 07/10/2019 09:47

I'd do everything possible to stay if I were you, especially being a bridesmaid.

Original poster
Molly564 · 07/10/2019 09:53

My DC is part of the day so no way I can leave them at home. Plus who do I leave them with?

OP posts:
Mopmum35 · 07/10/2019 09:53

You'll be there for the main part so I see nothing wrong going, plus a toddler round a load of drunk people...I wouldn't like that. I'd your dc is anything like mine then that one night out of a routine will make the next day a bloody nightmare. Do what you feel best hun.

FenellaMaxwell · 07/10/2019 09:54

Why can’t your DH take the toddler home?

Stiltons · 07/10/2019 09:59

Yes your DH can take the toddler home when they start to get tired and grumpy. You stay and arrage to stay at your parents. You cant leave at the beginning of the evening if you are a bridesmaid.

RiddleyW · 07/10/2019 10:01

You staying and DH and DC leaving seems a very simple solution, not sure what I'm missing.

turnthebiglightoff · 07/10/2019 10:02

Absolutely you stay and your DH takes the little one home.

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