Nephew and Bridezilla

[Moilgrove]

AIB overly sensitive? DH's nephew is getting married, all first cousins,their partners and their children are invited to fancy country house wedding for the weekend except our son and daughter. No explanation given but DH' s sister has spoken to bridezilla who does not want "strangers" at HER wedding . FFS. Is it not HIS bloody wedding too? DH has refused to attend without our kids (both adults) . Money not an issue, both families loaded.

It is fairly usual, if you want to limit numbers (and this can be based on the venue and not just money), for the first rule to be to not invite people who one of the couple have never met. Easy way to eliminate people in a way that (usually) doesn't offend people. I don't think it's personal or bridezilla.

It is absolutely ridiculous to not attend a wedding because your adult children weren't invited, especially as they obviously aren't close to the couple. Absolutely bonkers.

The bride doesn't know you and she doesn't know your children. So she's decided to limit the number of 'strangers' at her wedding. If the groom felt strongly about it, he would have insisted, do clearly he's not that bothered
I don't accept that he gets no say - men usually manage to make their opinions known!

My fil would have described me as difficult and possibly unlikeable. I would describe me as having my own opinions and not being a total pushover!

You sound quite irrational tbh. I also feel sorry for her joining a family that clearly dislike her so much. I'm guessing FIL thinks she's 'strong willed' because she's dared to have an opposing opinion to him.

No, weddings are not an opportunity to meet family you've never met it's an opportunity for the bride and groom to invite whoever they want and leave out whoever they want too.

My DD isn't invited to a wedding in August, I've promptly sorted a babysitter for the day/evening. I didn't invite children to my own wedding (though I do get this isn't the issue here) I also only invited cousins I saw regularly to the day event.

YABU

The bride doesn't know your children therefore they are strangers regardless of the 'blood' connection'. When Dsis got married she didn't invite around 30 of 60 cousins, as she hadn't spoken to them for years and they had never met her OH - places were used for people she and Oh actually spoke to regularly.

Also weddings are not just to meet new people and see family you haven't seen for ages - they are to actually witness the marriage of people you care about!

I have tons of first cousins that I didn’t invite to my wedding (and a handful I did). I don’t think that’s at all unusual. I doubt very much it’s personal or meant as a slight. It sounds like they don’t see each other much and that’s probably the only reason for the lack of invite.

They don’t like your children enough to have invited them. You need to accept that.