I'm a wedding planner- AMA!

[SparkleSurprise]

People tend to have a lot of questions about my job/ want advice so I thought I'd post here and see if MNers had any burning questions!

I've been a private wedding planner for over ten years, couples come to me with a budget and a vision and I make it happen! I've planned weddings all over the world for all kinds of budgets and couples and cultures :)

Have you ever had anyone left at the alter?

@MaryPoppinsPenguins none quite at the altar!
I have had a bride change her mind the morning of though!

How did you get into it?

I've done lots of events planning in house, and idly wish I could switch to wedding planning sometimes.

What's the worst idea you have ever heard?

What's the largest budget you've had? And with that much money were they nice or difficult people to work with?

Which ideas make you inwardly groan and which ones do you love? How do you keep guests happy during the waiting period for photos?

@thecatsthecats completely by accident! I did some corporate event planning at an old job to cover for someone on maternity leave and ended up leaving that job to work for one of the hotels I organised a few conferences in. I then started coordinating the weddings at the hotel and thought hey... I could do this better myself.
I was super lucky to have some friends getting married at the time who let me plan their weddings to gain some experience and once I had built my portfolio that way, I branched out on my own!

@SnuggyBuggy I'm pretty open to any ideas really, if a couple really really wants something, it's their day so nothing is a bad idea.
It's 9/10 the ideas for hen and stag does that go awry or basically anything that involves other members of the wedding party paying for anything. I couldn't possibly tell you the amount of dramas I've seen from brides picking expensive bridesmaids dresses and expecting them to pay for their own.

@Muffinbutton I always thought that would be the way but I've actually found that people with 'average' budgets are far more difficult to deal with because managing their expectations of what you can get for your money is so much harder. They will always always compare everything to some other wedding where what they think something cost is very different to the reality.

As for the biggest budget, I did one in a Spanish castle that ended up in the region of 250k. It was absolutely spectacular and the couple were just lovely. Interesting guest list too!

@ThomasRichard I don't often inwardly groan but if ever I do, it's when couples say 'oh [insert family member here] has said they will do our photography/cake/bridesmaid dresses for free' when said family member isn't a professional. More often than not, the couple ends up disappointed and feels they can't say anything because it's family. Or they end up paying someone else and it causes resentment.

I get asked this question a lot, and I always always recommend that couples don't do all their photographs in one block, unless there's a major weather issue or something, you can generally just do photos in small 15 minute slots throughout the day while guests are getting drinks or taking their seats etc.
At my own wedding for example, DH and I got some photos while people were moving between the ceremony and reception rooms and the bar opened.

That being said, my preference is for documentary style wedding photography, problem solved!

We’ll have a few quite young children (ages 1-4) at our wedding. What’s the best way to keep them entertained in your experience, any tips??

We’ll do some kind of activity bags and hire a small bouncy castle in the day, for evening reception I was thinking a teepee with a few books/toys inside.

@MoHunter sounds like you've basically got it covered! You're doing a lot more there than most people do.
The teepee is a great idea, depending on whether it would disturb your other activities and the layout of the venue, I've seen people set up small projectors with Disney films on a big cushions, that went down a treat :)
Having somewhere suitable for them to take a nap with some cosy blankets is always a good idea too, depending on how much sugar they've had during the day!

Depending on the kids coming too and their ages/interests, fancy dress boxes are usually a hit!

How do you make sure the caterer is providing enough food?

What’s the next big trend ( sweet and photo booths on the way out I’m guessing)?

@user1474894224 I get asked this A LOT. Any good caterer worth their salt will always over-cater. I've never out of literally hundreds of weddings, been to one where the main meal was under catered. Most of the caterers I work closely with make sure they have enough to cover extra guests and staff.
Sometimes things like cakes don't always get all the way round everyone but that's generally down to people being cheeky and taking extra!
Don't fall for the 'advice' everyone will give you of '20% of your guests won't come' because you can guarantee some CFs will bring plus ones.

Oh PS sorry about the name change! It's still me :)

@SheWoreBlueVelvet Sweet tables definitely on the way out. Wouldn't be too sure about photo booths, companies are developing some really swanky looking ones with some really exciting technologies and extra touches so they won't be going anywhere too soon.
Random entertainment like magicians and dancers etc are massively dying a death in favour of good old fashioned live music.

The weddings I'm planning for 2019/20/21 I'm seeing a lot more coloured wedding dresses which personally I am loving! Outdoor ceremonies get more and more popular, people seem to be less bothered by our crap british weather and embracing the wellies and umbrellas look.
A lot more alternative style ceremonies like pagan hand fastings are cropping up too.
In terms of little touches, copper/rose gold is on its way out and it's all about gold and brass at the minute. I think we're going to see a lot more alternative bridal outfits soon, more white suits, jumpsuits, naked look dresses etc

@BippityBoppityBogOff we are trying to sort a bbq buffet. The caterer is saying they estimate 1.5 mains per person - as this is both the starter and main course this doesn't sound like enough to me. Some of the hungry/drunk guest will easily eat 2 or 3 items.....in fact even my kids would eat 2 items lol. - There are salads and sides....but still. I am struggling with a) wanting him to do the wedding as he seemed lovely but b) expecting for our budget there should be a lot more food and c) scared if we don't use him we will struggle to find someone else as we are short notice - e.g. may this year. Arggghhhhh!!

@user1474894224 That sounds very stressful :( I'm surprised they said 1.5 mains to you that's very random!

From my experience, I really do think they will over cater but without knowing the caterer I wouldn't want to say for sure! I had a BBQ buffet for my own wedding and there was so much left over the venue staff ended up stuffing their faces!

What about adding something low cost but filling on the side? We had a mighty cheese board with tonnes of bread and people were so full from that I think a lot of them didn't have room for bbq.

Also worth seeing if they can make sure the burgers and hot dogs etc are packed full of great extras like fried onions etc so that people are more likely to be satisfied :)

Aaaah @BippityBoppityBogOff thanks for coming back so quickly - it's much appreciated. We did think about adding extra - we started talking about getting dominos for later. But currently the bbq, canapes and 1 portion of desert each is coming in at £2300 for 200 canapes and the food for 80 guests......I'm a bit loath to need to provide extra - I would expect that budget to be sufficient. - At least hearing from you his working out is a little random is useful to know. And that it's not some industry standard. - I organised a party for my parents last year for 60 people and the buffet - which included starter and desert was about £1400 - and there was plenty....so I thought £2000 should be enough. I'm sure we will get there.......Based on your wedding bbq - what were your costs and what sort of food did you have?

What do you charge for your services? Eg is it a flat fee, per hours worked or a % of the cost of the wedding?

Do you get commission from the suppliers you use?

What the best way to have a low cost wedding?

Is your name Frarngk?

@user1474894224 unfortunately I can't really help you on the cost front as the costs vary so so wildly between types of venues and location.
I've seen BBQs for 100 guests cost anything from £500 to multiple thousands.

@FogCutter Completely depends on the scenario.
A lot of my work comes through referrals from venues I work with regularly and I will generally have a set rate agreed with them that they can offer to the client on my behalf. The rate is worked out roughly on having say, an average of 7 meetings with the client over 10 months but in reality this is only an average, different clients have different time requirements.

If someone contacts me directly for more bespoke help, so before they've even got to picking a venue, I have two different service options, a silver or gold package type thing and they are a set rate each. There are a few times I will go outside of this if couples have very specific requirements or abroad travel is required etc.

I know a lot of planners that do take a commission but I prefer to just work on a 'preferred supplier' basis. I only work with suppliers I know and trust and in return know that they will likewise recommend my services to others. I find it works better this way if you ever need to pull a last minute favour from someone!