Invitations and family politics

[LOTR]

So I may be being unreasonable.

Did all of you check a wedding date with your family before you booked?

We needed a venue in august 2020 and ideally a saturday...the venue only had one date left so we booked it. After provisionally booking (no deposits involved) we checked with family. My dad (effectively absentee) has just kicked off at not asking him for possible dates beforehand...xx

So what did you do?

Oh lovey don't give him any more of your emotional energy it isn't your fault he is like that.

I think you need to tell him about the giving away asap say your mum is doing it or whoever once he knows he can process it huff and that will be that but the only person causing any drama is him.

He's being ridiculous, is he always this difficult?

What a man child. I would tell him now that he isn’t walking you down the aisle, if he kicks off don’t give in and just say you won’t be inviting him. Will probably make the whole planning process easier in the long run.

He's often difficult. I've ended up writing down everything as a letter. Those of you who didn't have them walk you - how did you tell them? His last response tells me he is completely assuming he will be walking with me.

My DF had. passed before my wedding and DM has just assumed she would walk me down the aisle. I told her that I didn't want her to and that I was walking down alone. She wasn't happy but couldn't do anything about it.

Do you think he misunderstand and thought it was August this year? (Still not excusable....but more understandable). Just double check with him. We did check with our parents but.....we booked in December 2018 for May 2019......we fully understood some guests may be away. (Actually everyone we have asked is coming....the guest list has spiralled.) But your wedding is for you two primarily. Not for your entire family....so YANBU.

Maybe tell him it’s 2020, and no one needs to be “given away” anymore as it’s anachronistic nonsense.

As another PP said, we also eloped. Best decision we ever made.

If that’s not an option just ignore him.

Is he expecting to pay?

I think he knows it is is 2020, when he said he might be busy as I hadn't chrcked with him first I was very shocked and reinforced that it was 18 months away.
Nothing has been said about paying. I'd just assumed we'd be payong for our own. He's certainly not one for paying for things...but I have tried to explain that in a text (he messaged me and said he'd rather communicate by text not over the phone.) No response though.

What on earth has he got planned this far in advance for Aug 2020?

Maybe his frontal labotomy is booked for then.

April shower ls

So frustrating. No one had a problem - they all just expected that if you want August at a specific place you take the date you're given.

Thanks for the replies. I've no idea whether to chase him - I've had no response since Saturday morning.

Don't let him think you give a jot. Plenty of people get married without a df there. A feckless one will be no great loss.
Ask a close male friend to walk you down the aisle instead .

If he’s going to behave like a toddler treat him like one!