Is this rude or inconvenient to guests?

[MissMoodyMoo]

I've got it into my head that I want a winter wonderland/Christmas wedding! And was thinking the 28th as it's my brother who sadly passed aways birthday but could the date be considered inconvenient or rude towards guests?

It sounds lovely, especially as your Mum suggested it.

My 2 thoughts would be:

Sadly, as a PP mentioned, consider whether you want that date to be linked to your DB if (hopefully a big if), if all does not go well and the marriage doesn't last forever.

Secondly, I had a wedding after Christmas and was very sure that I didn't want anything Christmassy in the photos so that they didn't look 'out of season' the rest of the year. Summer/Spring photos don't seem to have that seasonal bias for me. It might not bother you and you may prefer it of course!

We've held weddings at that time and the only issue has been traffic due to the sales/post Christmas travel home - key guests getting stuck on the m1! As to the reason for the date - talk to your parents

As long as you don’t want real flowers for the bouquet, most florists that are open have very limited stock

Many people of work at this time of year, but those that are working will be difficult to get time off & not able to attend

I think it really depends on your guests and how far spread they are or where they are spending Christmas. You might have to accept that the date makes it difficult for people.

We once missed a friends wedding on the 27th as all flights were cancelled and we couldn't get there. Lost a fortune on hotels and was very sad to miss her day.

This year we have two weddings in another country on the 29th and 31st December. I'll be totally honest, I'm a bit grumpy about it. It's costing more than a very lovely family holiday would cost. The days between Christmas and New Year are always my favourite - probably the only time of the year that DH and I truly switch off from work - and I'd really prefer to be spending them at home. And I can't eat all the yummy Christmas food because I have wedding outfits to fit into!

I think it's lovely as your DM suggested it, however think of future anniversaries & it being a shared date.

I've been to a wedding on a similar date and it was fabulous. The venue looked amazing, the B&G got lots of pictures near the festive decorations. Most wedding guests lived nearby so public transport wasn't an issue. The guests who were travelling were guests who due to their job don't work at that time & would have been nearby visiting family.

The guests including me loved that that we could wear fancy sparkly outfits and some used their Christmas party outfit for the wedding

It all depends how many people can realistically make it. If it were my wedding I'd be asking people who normally visit their families in Sweden, Japan, America, Ireland, Spain, the Caribbean and France at Christmas to the ceremony, so it's a huge ask for them to adjust their holidays for my wedding.

If everyone is local to you and the venue then crack on, although as PP have said, people are skint at that time of year and often look forward to sitting around with family rather than getting gussied up and going out/ finding childcare.

I'm a florist and if you're not in a city you might find it hard to get flowers - lots of suburban shops close between xmas and new year.

One of the loveliest weddings we’ve been to was on the north Norfolk coast on December 29th. It was magical.
The bride wore a white faux fur cape, the church was full of twinkling Christmas trees bedecked in red and gold, the congregation knew the carols that were sung - Love came down at Christmas and Adeste Fidelis (both felt perfect for a marriage).
Reception was nice and cosy. People travelled up and stayed locally with a day to recover and a New Years Eve party in a local village pub which lots stayed on for.

If it’s on your brothers birthday, it will be even more special.

I nearly got married on an important family date. I am so glad I didn't as very unexpectedly I have been forced into getting divorced. I never dreamt my marriage would end this way. Think very carefully. You really do never know.

I only got divorced two years ago
and I couldn’t tell you the date! It was utterly meaningless as so many stages precedes that actual divorce. Aye you referring to the date printed on the divorce paper?

Either way, OP ignore. Go in to a marriage presuming it’s for life.

Workreturner I'm guessing the PP got married on, say, her parents anniversary and now that she is divorced, it's a bit awkward that her own wedding anniversary is the same date.

I guess just a different perspective
When it comes to my divorce, the dates are meangingless as usually a drawn out process

Yeah but surely you remember what was your wedding date?

I wouldn’t go. We have to squeeze in our overseas family visit over winter holidays because we can’t find the time otherwise.

I think it’s a lovely time of the year to get married - winter weddings can be really beautiful.

However, you would need to be realistic about what can be provided at that time of year, and at what cost.

Speak to your venue to make sure they can provide the menu you want so close to two bank holidays. Bear in mind items such as hired suits may need to be colllected further in advance than usual and therefore may cost more. Florists will have a limited stock.
Discos/event hire items etc may cost more and have less choice as Christmas/New Year is their peak season.

I’m a wedding cake maker, and I often charge extra between Christmas and New Year, as it usually means I have to work on Boxing Day as I only ice cakes a day or two before the event.

@Ginger1982

I do but honestly means bugger all and I don’t give it a thought. Other friend divorcees similar as we have discussed how meaningless it becomes!

Not at all providing you give guests notice. I would wait till next year as people won't have money this time of the year now. Giving them notice will let them book travel and get outfits in advance

Is thia for 2018 or 2019?

If next year lots of time for people to book early and budget for it! If 2018 then probably too late for most people at this stage!

I wouldn't for 2 reasons:

1. this is your wedding, not your brothers. Keep his date separate from your special days. On your wedding day your DH should be the important man.

1. Having a wedding aniversary around Christmas/nez year basically means you don't celebrate it. We married the week after new year and have never really celebrated it because by then you don't want to eat, drink and be merry and you have no money left for présents.

Given your update, sounds great!

Most people I know would be at work on the 28th December which this year is a Wednesday which makes it even more of a 'working day'.! An awkward date to get extra time off.

How can the 28th December be a Wednesday? Christmas Day is a Tuesday

Most people I know would be at work on the 28th December which this year is a Wednesday

Its a Thursday.

Oh x posts.

Actually it's a Friday.

So it is. Perfect then.

In your set of circumstances outlined in your update OP, I would definitely pick it.
Your mum suggested the date to remember your DB, so now it will always be your anniversary.

You've said the venue is 10 minutes from your family & guests and it's a Friday.

I would definitely be up for a wedding and a catch up between xmas & NY. Just don't serve xmas dinner at the meal. A curry!