AIBU

[NOTtheCHEAPcakeLADY]

I've changed my name as I'm not sure if my cousin is on Mumsnet.

so my cousin announced her wedding date, I am really excited for the big day.

so I make cakes, and if I do say so damn good ones, my cousin asked me if I would make her cake, I agreed she told me what she wanted, 4 tiers (3 sponge 3 flavours) and a layer of fruit. adorned with sugar lace gold leaf and handmade roses. her reference points where amazing, she asked how much it would be, I added it all up down to every morsel of ingredient and every support dowel need.

I also did some research for her into what this cake would cost at other bakers (not to undercut them she has no idea the work and hours that does into these pieces) and quotes ranged from £700 to a whopping £1000 which I already knew would be the case but I wanted her to see, I gave her my price, I thought a fair £250 as that is what it was going to cost me in ingredients and necessary items. that price did not include any payment for the 20+ hours of work no profit nothing to cover my overheads. nothing exactly cost price,(i even gave her my spreadsheets) she asked if I could get it down slightly so I did, change suppliers went from the brand ingredients to supermarket own brand, from free-range and organic to regular and I got it down to 190, (i also showed her how much I would charge someone else (750) and the quotes from the other people)
she claimed it was still to much,

am I being unreasonable in thinking she is being ungrateful, she claims to appreciate the work I put in, I dont feel she does, for years she has had cakes for family (her future husband's side- not ours) gatherings for next to nothing.

I can't help but feel offended and annoyed, to be honest. she and her husband have good well paid jobs and she has been saving for years for this wedding to have an incredibly glamorous day and I also know she budgeted 600 for a cake she told me this a year ago, I told her that was a good amount she could get a nice cake for that, but told her to speak to me closer to the time to see what I can do for her. for as always cost price.

She has now asked if she buys them ready made in a supermarket would I decorate them, I told her I will recalculate the costs and get back to her.

Now I get some people may think I should do this for nothing as her gift, I've already bought her gift from her gift list, if I hadn't I wouldn't be spending 190-200 on her gift anyway, I'm actually in two minds to just decline the work but I feel that is just being spiteful and petty, and I am just thinking this way because I am a bit Miffed.

your thoughts please..thanks in advance

I hate that people place no value on time and skills. She's a CF Op and you have already gone above and beyond. Stick to your guns!

This now seems less like a goodwill offer for a celebration, and more like a hard bitten business negotiation for the best deal.

If she doesn't want your kind offer, I'd seriously let her go and negotiate hard for a deal elsewhere.

I think that's a really good reply on your part Op.
I don't think she realises how lucky she is to have such a clever ( and useful) cousin.
Has she gone horribly over budget eslewhere do you think or was it just an expectation you would do it for free?
I don't think many people would expect materials for free be it ingredients or flowers or paper and ink. Time, maybe or mates rates perhaps. No you weren't U

She had the cheek to question your spreadsheet?

When you're doing it at cost?

I wouldn't be doing her cake after that insult to your generosity.

Good on you for sticking up for yourself and your business.

Thing is if she budgeted 600 for a cake she has an idea what effort that calibre of cake needs so it's not ignorance. She maybe has rejigged her budget and decided she can use the cake budget elsewhere.

CF for sure.

The cake sounded amazing btw.

Just a thought, why don't you ask her to buy your ingredients rather than charging her for you to get them at cost.

Hopefully she'll realise your quote for ingredients was just that, cost only.

Maybe she'll be more understanding. She's probably thinking alongs the lines of a very large domestic cake in terms of cost, probably why she's a bit taken aback.

You are right not to decorate another cake. And you really can't be £100s pounds out of pocket because she can't grasp the cost of ingredients.

@OliviaBenson me too, but unfortunately, I do think we are all guilty of it sometimes, especially when it comes to something we have never done ourselves

@SheWoreBlueVelvet I'm not sure about her wedding budget, I doubt she has gone over it, to be honest, she is one of those people who can stick to them or even spend less think it was more a thought I would do it for nothing, but with such an elaborate cake its not something I can afford to do

@AhNowTed it wasn't so much questioning my spreadsheet it was more why do you need some much of this/that for example for all three cakes including filling and crumb coating 20 blocks of butter is needed and she said wow that is a lot of butter, i replied its a lot of cake!

@wafflyversatileI think she budgeted that amount because she used bridal magazines as her guide to getting her basic budget started it wasn't so much she had done research, maybe she did I dont know,
aww thank you, she does want a very beautiful cake to be fair she has a very good eye for detail I give her that, put it this way as a cake maker if I wasn't already married I would like something similar to what she wants myself it's stunning.

@Sparklingwinemakesmehappy i think your right, i thinkshe is thinking its just a few victoria sponges haha! oh how wrong she is

Well done for not giving in

If other family members start giving you grief ask them if they’re spending several hundred pounds on their gift as that’s what one of your cakes cost

@ThanosSavedme
good idea i will do ! x

I bet she’s frantically going around getting quotes for the cake she’s after and being told they’re either unavailable or the cake cost £700+

Give it a few days and she will be back to you with her tail between her legs full of apologies and offering to pay cost price 🙄 what a cheek!

@mishfish
I can imagine her now stressing her head over it, which is what I do not want at all, she doesn't cope well with stress. so I hope she either finds something she wants at a price that is ok for her or asks me to do it.
soon though because I've just been referred to a breast clinic as an urgent case (had cancer 3 years ago) if I get bad news before she asks me (doctors are very concerned) I know she won't ask me, then will pay crazy amounts of money for a cake, and all her stress will have been for nothing, but if she asks me before said appointment is I've committed to the cake I will do it.

she nor no other family no about said appointment at the moment not untill its been no use worrying them