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Original poster

Weird Request for Wedding Guests?

47 replies

GeckaDiego · 27/08/2018 17:37

I'm getting married in 2 years and I'm considering asking the female guests NOT to wear perfume or fragrances? I have an allergy to most perfumes, fragrances, air fresheners, laundry detergents, pretty much any product with a floral smell. I'm not allergic to actual flowers but the combination of chemicals they use to recreate the smell. I take antihistamines any time I'm working, going shopping or visiting peoples homes, however they are not always 100% effective especially if I'm hit with multiple fragrances at once. I just don't want to spend my wedding day either avoiding certain guests or sneezing and wheezing with my nose streaming! Fortunately gents aftershaves and fragrances aren't normally floral based so they would be excluded from this request. I don't usually ask ladies to accommodate me largely because I've learned they either forget or believe their particular scent "isn't that strong" but I think for my wedding day I shouldn't have to worry about it. AIBU?

OP posts:

glintandglide · 27/08/2018 18:29

Id think it was pathetic because it’s obviously something that OP has to cope with on a daily basis so setting rules for her wedding day just smacks of I’m a princess for the day

troodiedoo · 27/08/2018 18:29

I would be fine with this. I can't imagine any decent person objecting.

Condragulations · 27/08/2018 18:32

I’d find this a bit pathetic tbh.

Definitely blanket ban all perfumes/aftershaves or else people will start on the “well if that’s ok I’m sure this’ll be fine” and ruin your day setting your allergies off.
YANBU

fluffyragdoll · 27/08/2018 18:32

Are you okay with deodorants?
I wouldn't mind the request but would be quite self conscious all day about me smelling if I weren't able to wear deodorant etc.. and can imagine a few others would be as well, little perfume favours you wouldn't be allergic to would be lovely though and well appreciated!

fluffyragdoll · 27/08/2018 18:32

gamerchick · 27/08/2018 18:33

Is that like deodorant and whatnot as well? It might get a bit fruity later when people are having a boogie on the dance floor.

Condragulations · 27/08/2018 18:34

Glintandglide I imagine most days the OP hasn’t spent a fortune and considerable amount of time planning an event which is intended to be a once in a lifetime thing where she and her partner are the central focus though. I don’t think not wanting to have an allergic reaction screams princess tbh

Original poster

GeckaDiego · 27/08/2018 19:11

Glintandglide in a way you are right, this is something I have to deal with on a daily basis. As for the enquiries about deodorants, yes potentially them too! It depends on the fragrance and how recently they have been applied. Tbh I fully expect some guests to follow what I consider the norm and forget about my allergy! If just some of my guests remember though it will help reduce the number of co-mingling fragrances/chemicals. Multiple scents mixing can overwhelm my antihistamines and leave me struggling to breathe. (I also end up sounding like Barry White when speaking after an attack and my laugh sounds like a donkey in distress 😂) I'm definitely not going for a princess for the day vibe, I'm going to mid forties so more like a dowager! The princess on the day will be my DD who I fully expect to steal my thunder by being an adorable little madam and demanding everyone looks at her dress 😁

OP posts:

ViserionTheDragon · 27/08/2018 19:12

Quit while you're ahead Glintandglide, nobody cares for your inflamitory comments .

sirmione16 · 27/08/2018 19:15

I'd honour this no problem :)

ViserionTheDragon · 27/08/2018 19:16

Another vote here for the wedding favours and including men's as well OP.

mumsastudent · 27/08/2018 19:20

how are you with deodorant & bath oil/shower gel smells?

evilharpy · 27/08/2018 19:21

YANBU.

There are a couple of perfumes that are migraine triggers for me. One is Fahrenheit; another was (the now thankfully discontinued) Sun Moon & Stars. Different problem to you but same trigger. If I received an invitation with a request not to wear perfume because of the bride's allergies I wouldn't think it was weird or unreasonable at all.

fanomoninon · 27/08/2018 19:22

I think a separate note in invites would be fine - and I would explain the reactions you tend to have too so people can see the severity. Personally, I would put it is a request for all aftershaves and perfumes as a) to be safe - why risk it? b) I suspect there's more chance people will take it seriously if it's a blanket ban (e.g. is your fav perfume is very woody, or even very light & cucumber-y, would people think that they could ignore the ban?)
Good luck planning the wedding!

AntiHop · 27/08/2018 19:24

I think that's reasonable as long as you explain. Remind people nearer the time.

glintandglide · 27/08/2018 19:27

Get over yourself viseron. oP asked for opinions and got them. Chances are many of her wedding guests will lean the same way as me in their views so why shouldn’t I express them?!

shoelaces · 27/08/2018 19:35

I'd be fine with this but how will you let guests know? If it's on the invite itself, fine. If it's on a slip with the invite, you risk people losing it and forgetting. Most will re check the invite prior to the day.

ViserionTheDragon · 27/08/2018 19:35

Glintandglide you have pretty much labelled OP's ailment as 'pathetic', which is nasty AF. You obviously came on here hoping to pick a fight with someone. I'm not going to engage with you anymore, get a life!

mishfish · 30/08/2018 13:46

I would have no problem at all with that. If I were you, I’d put a note on the invite explaining and maybe a website that contains more info so they realise it’s serious. Perfume favours for all is lovely- and maybe a spray that you’re not so sensitive to in the make and female toilets so they have the option to put some on if they start honking?

I can’t not wear deodorant, so i would probably get in touch with you separately to see if there’s any I’m able to wear

VickieCherry · 30/08/2018 13:49

I'd be absolutely fine with that. I have a friend with similar (and many other) severe allergies, and I never wear perfume when I see her in case it sets it off. It's easy to remember. If you put it on the invitations everyone will see it when they check the details a few days before.

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