Do we just have to let people waste money or...

[WhyAreWeddingsSoAwks]

Ok bear with me cringe

I’m getting married in Nov and me and Fiancé have said between us that we really don’t expect anyone to give us any kind of wedding gifts. (We’re 33 and 36 and to us this seems significant as we obviously won’t need any toasters or crystal flutes lol)

He says we should make it clear anyway that people who really insist on giving a gift (he thinks his older relatives will be like this) could contribute a token towards a piece of artwork we would love for our house...

His view is that it’s better than letting people who insist wasting their money on stuff we might not like or need. He thinks it would be simple for me to let the guests know about this.

Basically I’m asking because although it sort of seems sensible it is also setting off my cringe alarms quite badly

What do you think?

We were in the same scenario as you, OP. We decided to do a small list at John Lewis for people who asked. We did not send out the John Lewis gift list thing with the invitations and only gave the details to anyone who asked. We had about 100 people at the wedding. About 20 people asked about the wedding list and gave us something from it. About another 15 came to the wedding with a gift of their own choosing. The rest didn't give us anything.

Have to say, although I was perfectly happy for people not to give us a wedding present, I was quite taken aback after the event that some people came, ate and drank to their hearts' content all night (catering was good we paid for the bar after the meal) and didn't even send a card afterwards saying thank you for the party, and nor have we heard a word from them since (months later).

I think you do need to have something to say to people who genuinely want to give you something you want. If that is a contribution to artwork, do that.