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Weddings

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"Please respect our beautiful day by not posting photos on social media"

56 replies

CoffeeCakePlease · 26/06/2018 16:05

I've thought a lot about pictures of our wedding day doing the rounds on social media posted by the guests (if some of our family are anything to go by they will probably be online before the speeches) but, I've made my peace with it as I feel putting any sort of notice up (like the subject line above) has an air of 'fun police' about it. I saw this notice on a wedding 'for sale' post on Facebook Marketplace.

How do others feel about this? Are you bothered that pictures of you will be up and potentially seen by people you don't know? Do you care? Or if you are a user of social media would you rather be the 'first' to put a picture up of you and new husband/wife and let all the others then follow?

I'm not a huge sharer on Facebook, so envisage putting about 5 of the professional ones on my Facebook profile and keeping the rest private/for family and close friends to see only. But obviously the photographers photos will won't be ready until a few weeks after.

I find 'requests' that are impossible to police a bit laughable; if I saw that notice at a wedding I'd straight away think "what will they do if people do? take their phone from them? never speak to them again??" ... yet in an ideal world I wouldn't have guests share pictures of us (don't mind about themselves all dolled up) as its a 'private' celebration in the sense that its invite only, like all weddings I guess!

OP posts:
lljkk · 26/06/2018 19:45

PartyPooper

greendale17 · 26/06/2018 19:46

This is becoming quite common now. For the past wedding I have been too everyone has respected the bride and grooms wishes.

ivykaty44 · 26/06/2018 19:49

Just put up s sign/ let the guests know that

Please do us this one favour don’t post photos of the bridal party on social media, of course post photos of your glamourise selfs but let us post ourself on social media - thank you 🙏

IHeartKingThistle · 26/06/2018 19:54

My cousin went to a wedding, videoed the vows and posted the video to FB BEFORE THE CEREMONY HAD EVEN FINISHED. I was Shock

madamginger · 26/06/2018 20:05

My sister had a destination wedding and asked that photos weren’t put online till they got back as they were having a reception here and wanted the dress to be a surprise. As far as I know everyone complied but they only had about 15 people at the wedding so not that hard really.

Samewitches · 26/06/2018 20:06

I think it's really quite rude how some people post on SM. I went to the early evening do of my friend's wedding and there were pictures of her walking down the aisle that I saw on FB hours before I even got there to see her! We'd chatted a lot about her dress and accessories etc and I felt a bit sad not to see it on face to face for the first time. Another old school friend who I'm not really in contact with other than being FB friends had some really unflattering, blurry, just taken for the sake of it photos posted of her, actually posted during the ceremony by the look of it. I think it's quite rude but I don't know why, I'm not a bridezilla type- I had the mandatory 2 guests at my wedding and we travelled there together in jeans and trainers, I wore my exact wedding outfit to work a week or so later! It's something I can't put my finger on. I think it'd be perfectly reasonable to ask guests not to if you thought they would.

Groovee · 26/06/2018 20:11

At my niece's wedding the celebrant announced the bride and groom requested no photos on social media until they posted the official ones.

cravingcake · 26/06/2018 20:28

I recently got married and we asked the registrar to tell everyone that take as many photos as you like but please don’t post any of us (B&G) on social media as a lot of my family live in different countries and we would like them to see the ‘wow’ of the dress/day/happy couple etc from us first rather than drunken dance floor snaps. It was about 24 hours after when I posted a couple of favourite pics my friends took. Our photographer also sent a couple of her favourite professional pics that she edited quickly for us to use on SM.

Worked perfectly and no-one was offended.

CoffeeCakePlease · 27/06/2018 00:21

Thanks for replies everyone. Isn't it mad how much social media has taken over the world? As I was reading I thought, even if I de-activated Facebook (partner doesn't have a page anymore, got bored of it about 4 years ago) it wouldn't stop pictures of me being out there...there is literally no escape...unless you formally request, like the notice board I saw for sale on Facebook. Its crazy we live in a world where people can't attend anything without publicising it, unless they're asked not to.

PP mentioned "the same old dears" - it really is, one of my DGM friends got into hot water when she posted on someone elses Facebook wall she was sorry to hear they were having cancer treatment...they were, but not all the family had been told and when they saw that comment it sparked a frenzy...

OP posts:
smurfy2015 · 27/06/2018 10:21

Nieces wedding last year, a third of the guests were from photography, media in various forms and working in various mediums, also a good number from hair and beauty as we all arrived at the church on the day,

the signs were up to clarify the position at their request at the back of the church, it was also in the order of service and announced by the priest.

There was a request that no photos be taken during the ceremony but there would be posed photos on the altar at the end, the bride and groom did all the shots, then with their children, each family and both families.

Then they asked family and friends to arrange themselves in small groups and we could get photos with B&G which was lovely.

Then the traditional receiving line only this was as we left the church and was mainly for the video where we were allowed up to a minute each but could spend less if needed talking to the couple.

Then a dove release in the churchyard, at which point a mobile catering van pulled up with tea and coffee for everyone, the bridal party went off to do formal photos and were at the hotel in less than 90 mins.

Meantime we had the canapes, champagne and a chance to chat and mix. There was a room set aside for the canapes, champagne and a bar and everyone in it together and games on the tables, I ended up playing Connect 4 with the grooms great granny. There was twister and others, great fun to watch in wedding garb. lol

The candid photos from everyone were encouraged and when the B & G came back they joined the room for about 20 mins mingling and taking pics and chatting with everyone.

There were entertainers for the children and 3 babysitters to cover those who were staying in the hotel or had been relocated to the bride and grooms home that night if their parents were going to stay there.

We had the meal, more time to mix and talk, this time it was a magician who filled in the time until the band was set up and the B&G could give us their first dance, then the groom and his best man had their "last dance".

The band played till 11.30pm, followed by a stop for more tea/coffee food (bacon butties etc) and then the bride and groom while people were eating had a video of photos of them growing up, set to music and which lasted a few minutes and

then "interviews with those who have gone ahead of us"... words of wisdom on life, marriage, and love which we had all been asked to contribute to but didn't know exactly what we were doing, it was hilarious,

When that was over, the bride flicked over to FB on the tab underneath and changed her name, that was the go-ahead for anyone to post photos.

Bear in mind a lot of people couldn't stand up by that stage so was quite safe, midnight passed and most photos didn't appear till the next morning.

The disco finished just after 2 pm, then we had a sing-song till almost 4 am

from 10pm 2 of the brides youngest sisters friends were set up with 2 laptops and all the leads needed and another sign / chalkboard explaining what they were there for, as some people were leaving anytime after that they were encouraged to share direct from their phone onto the hard drive of the laptops which were then moved onto an external hard drive, and backed up online on Picasa so over 4-5 hours of sitting around playing with computer games as much as possible and getting some £ for it, the couple managed to gather up another 4000 images from the wedding, ones that wouldn't have been caught otherwise. Getting them before they left meant they deffo got the images when copying they kept the screen in view for the person and only copied wedding ones.

Not one person broke the "don't post till the couple does", She had it changed on another device as the video advice slots were ending.

Definitely a good idea, as long as you are clear across every channel possible and that you are shy about social media so aren't keen on being literally all over it.

There were lots of group shots of friends with B & G and single shots all taken more naturally, more relaxed and it was said it would be announced when the bride and groom were going to post on social media and then it was a free for all. She also said she got more time with the groom as well as wasn't feeling someone was about to FB live in her face all the time.

Enjoy your wedding and your marriage

Shoxfordian · 27/06/2018 15:28

I think it's fine to say not during the ceremony but you can't really ban people all day.

Ohyesiam · 27/06/2018 15:30

Mos

Mrsramsayscat · 27/06/2018 15:36

I recently saw someone congratulate a couple on the birth of their baby- same day- before either of the couple had a chance to do it themselves. Shockingly poor , attention seeking behaviour.

lljkk · 27/06/2018 15:49

My cousins posted loads of updates about pregnancy & ultrasound, but since birth have never announced the baby on FBk or put a single pic up (born 6m ago). Drives me crazy. Mum got tagged in a pic so now I have seen a pic of the baby, at least.

twinkle999 · 27/06/2018 17:24

You can change your settings so you have to approve any pics of you going on to your time line. Why don’t you do that.

I think putting a ban on it is really a bit precious. You don’t “own” your guests experience of the day.

greendale17 · 27/06/2018 18:44

I think putting a ban on it is really a bit precious. You don’t “own” your guests experience of the day.

It is not being precious. It is being respectful to the wishes of your hosts.

twinkle999 · 27/06/2018 18:52

I disagree.

Just because you are having a wedding doesn’t mean you can dictate what photos people take and what they do with those photos.

MaggieFS · 28/06/2018 06:44

I'm not a fan of the signs. If it's a big deal you can put it in writing alongside any other notices in the order of service e.g. no confetti, otherwise we just had the vicar request no pictures on social media until the following day when she did the general notices on photography in the service etc before I arrived.

FreeMantle · 28/06/2018 18:53

It is not being precious. It is being respectful to the wishes of your hosts

But I think it's the hosts wishes that are a bit precious...you can't really say it's personal if you've just made a big event out of it. And only using " acceptable" photos is pretty precious in my book.

Weddings aren't anything like a new baby. A new baby is not a celebration in itself nor an event with guests. Also obviously a human in its own right with no say at that time in photos. So I agree it would be rude in that instance.

BoxsetsAndPopcorn · 29/06/2018 18:51

I think it's precious too.

A wedding is supposed to be about the vows and commitment. Nowadays so many seem to be about the day itself and less about the real meaning.

If you invite guests to share then it's rudeness to put restrictions on them.

Verbena87 · 29/06/2018 19:26

I don’t think it’s precious not to want photos of you to be shared publically, at all. I have had to try and enforce no sharing for safety after a stalking incident, for example. It’s ok to want to control how and where your own personal info (including your image) gets shared.

I agree you can’t really tell others not to post images of themselves.

burnoutbabe · 30/06/2018 17:43

Happy to not share photos of the bride or groom on Facebook.
But to be told I can't share pictures of myself and other half attending? Sod that!

LoveInTokyo · 14/07/2018 16:44

Our friends who got married last year asked all their guests (verbally, after the ceremony) not to post any pictures online. As far as I’m aware everyone complied.

I used a picture of me and my OH at the wedding as my Facebook profile picture but I figured that would be OK as we could have been anywhere. The pictures I took of the bride and groom and other wedding guests I just shared via WhatsApp.

user8807 · 14/07/2018 16:51

it's interesting isn't it, people should know not to do it - I had a sibling post congrats on my baby's birth before I'd even left the hospital let alone put photos up.

Requesting is ok (although people should just know!), but then I'd forget about it - the big picture is more important.

MachineBee · 14/07/2018 17:00

Long before the internet it was considered a great compliment if a B&G’s picture appeared in the local press as editors didn’t take every one sent in by photographers.

My own DM and DFs wedding day ended up on the front page of a local newspaper because it was just a lovely picture. DF still has a framed copy up on his wall now and DM died several years ago.

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