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Original poster

Buying own suits

34 replies

Fameandfortune · 17/02/2018 20:50

My husband is going to be best man in September. The groom has just told him that to save money they’re not hiring suits and dh should just wear his own. The groom is going to let him know colours. He doesn’t own a suitable suit so will have to buy one. Is this a common way to do it? At our wedding we paid for suit hire & bridesmaid dresses.

The wedding is costing us a lot of money already that we really can’t afford (stag/hen do, travel, hotel, wedding gift etc) and it feels very frustrating that they are saving money by passing the suit cost on.

OP posts:
Arapaima · 17/02/2018 20:54

When my DH was a best man he bought his own suit. He wears suits for work though, so it wasn’t a problem.

Original poster
Fameandfortune · 17/02/2018 20:58

It’s just not something I’ve come across before so was surprised when dh told me. Oh well, guess we’ll just have to find the money. Unfortunately dh doesn’t wear suits for work

OP posts:
eurgh2018 · 17/02/2018 21:01

If your DH doesn't already own a suit and you were just guests (as opposed to best man) then he'd have to buy one anyway surely?

Changednamejustincase · 17/02/2018 21:03

I wouldn't be happy about this. You will be taking some of the cost of their wedding. I don't know how you can deal with it though other than by saying you can't afford an expensive suit. Presumably your DH would have to get a suit to wear to attend the wedding if he wasn't best man so being best man won't cost him more unless he gets a more expensive suit. I would just hire an inexpensive one.

Original poster
Fameandfortune · 17/02/2018 21:06

He has a suit but if it’s quite a fancy wedding so he will need something new for best man. Groom is going to tell him specifics for colour of suit, shirt, tie etc too.

OP posts:
Thistlebelle · 17/02/2018 21:08

I don’t think that if they aren’t paying they can specify colours etc tbh, that’s very rude.

rookiemere · 17/02/2018 21:08

This happened to DH at his nephews wedding . He wasn't even the best man. Except he did have a suit already, but they wanted matching suits. DH had to waste £150 on a stupid looking suit that he'll never wear again.
Found out they had paid for the other folks suits, but as DH earns a bit more didn't offer to pay for his. If they'd offered He'd probably have paid for it anyway, but I think its really cheeky expecting your guests to pay for a specific outfit you insist they wear. Fair enough for a generic suit though- just hire the cheapest you can.

Original poster
Fameandfortune · 17/02/2018 21:14

Hopefully they won’t be as specific about what the suit has to be like as it sounds. Then we’ll be able to either buy something that dh can use in future or hire something easily.

OP posts:
eurgh2018 · 17/02/2018 21:37

I think I'd hire, my DH only wears a suit for weddings/christenings so if the specified colours wasn't to his taste it'd be a waste to buy it.

PaperdollCartoon · 18/02/2018 18:09

It’s becoming more common for bridesmaids/best men/ushers to buy their own dresses and suits but I don’t really agree with it. If you want someone to wear a specific thing I think you should pay for it.

Peachyking000 · 18/02/2018 22:31

We did this at our wedding, but obviously weren’t cheeky enough to specify colours!

Rubies12345 · 19/02/2018 05:39

It’s becoming more common for bridesmaids/best men/ushers to buy their own dresses and suits

I don't think it is but you will always get people that try to get out of paying for things.

My friend tried to get us to pay for our own bm dresses but she has previous for walking off at dinner without paying or getting out the taxi.

The bride and groom have to pay if they want something specific bought.

blueskyinmarch · 19/02/2018 06:12

My DD is being a bridesmaid at my nieces wedding. All the bridesmaids are buying their own dresses. They can choose any style they want as long as it is in the right colour scheme. This way they get to choose a dress they really like and feel comfortable in. None of the bridesmaids have thought it rude at all.

Ifailed · 19/02/2018 06:18

It one thing expecting guests at a wedding to wear reasonably suitable attire, but when you start laying down 'rules' about what they should wear, either pay up or be prepared for people not going.

StopPOP · 19/02/2018 06:21

Bollocks to having the colours dictated if they're not supplying.

For what it's worth DH bought a suit for a wedding from Matalan in Sat. Jacket, trousers, waistcoat, shirt, tie and a box of hankies. £116 altogether and it's gorgeous. Grey with navy silky lining.

And it'll be suitable for any suit occasion.

troodiedoo · 19/02/2018 06:25

And we have ourselves a CF! Why the hell should you be out of pocket? Why do weddings cause so many people to lose their brains and manners?

Your oh should either wear a suit he already owns. Or, say sorry I can't afford to buy a new suit, and see if they want to buy it for him.

Youvegotafriendinme · 19/02/2018 06:34

DH has to buy his suit for his DAunts wedding many years ago. It was also a odd sandy colour so he got no more wear out if it. This is the same woman who made all her bridesmaids buy their dresses (£300 each from coast!)
I think if you can’t afford to dress the best man/ushers/bridesmaids etc you shouldn’t have them

hotelduvin · 19/02/2018 06:42

Buy one on eBay and then resell it after the wedding. There's often lots of ex rental ones going cheap.

Original poster
Fameandfortune · 19/02/2018 06:51

Thanks for the suggestions. We’re still waiting for the specifics! Fingers crossed it’s just going to be a standard suit so we’ll be able to shop around. If they were having a low budget wedding then I’d understand them asking us to take on the suit cost but it’s just frustrating that they’re going all out on everything else and using the suits as a way to save them a little money. Personally I would have done without some of the other extras to ensure I could afford the outfits for my wedding party

OP posts:
troodiedoo · 19/02/2018 06:53

The fancier the wedding, the higher the CF ery in my experience!

Minko8990 · 19/02/2018 06:58

We asked the groomsmen to buy suits. We however bought shoes, belts, ties, pocket square and shirts (which totalled more than the suit). The suit was from a high street store so reasonably priced (and I got staff discount) and easy to wear again. It was dearer to hire and nothing to show for it afterwards.
We bought BM dresses as they were £50 each compared to the £200 for the suit and all accessories as above.
This seems to be what all our friends do however so the ones we asked, DH had done the same for most of them previously. I’d hate to think anyone didn’t want to do it though and made the suit thing clear when people were originally asked to be part of the wedding party to give them chance to say no.

CuboidalSlipshoddy · 19/02/2018 08:22

The fancier the wedding, the higher the CF ery in my experience!

The fancier the wedding, the shorter-lived the marriage.

thecatsthecats · 19/02/2018 10:01

As PP have said, surely he would have been buying one anyway, so it all depends on the price and flexibility of the groom's demands. A suit is as ubiquitous as a black dress for a woman, so it's not the worst thing in the world.

I think bridesmaids paying is becoming more common from what I've heard, but the dresses are likely to be far less reuseable than a suit.

2/3 of my bridesmaids offered to pay for their dresses. I don't know if they were joking when they said I was 'very generous' to pay myself, but they've been in other weddings before, so possibly I'm the first to have paid for them...

CuboidalSlipshoddy · 19/02/2018 11:11

As PP have said, surely he would have been buying one anyway, so it all depends on the price and flexibility of the groom's demands.

Why would a man need to buy a new suit for a wedding? Good suits can easily cost a grand, but will last for many years. Well-tailored suit: stylish. Cheap new suit: less stylish. Do people really buy new suits for weddings even if they have a perfectly good one in their wardrobe?

System0matix · 19/02/2018 14:16

Bridal party should not be expected to pay for anything in my view. You've been asked to be a bridesmaid/groomsman/best man/page boy/flower girl, if you hadn't been you very well would have not spent any cost on an outfit, shoes, hair, make-up etc just used existing products you already own.

IMO the bridal party should receive at no cost to themselves - outfit for the day, any additional extras if they would like to have them done (thinking about hair and make-up here) and at least one night's paid accommodation (if needed).

I believe you should have as many as you can afford to deck out.