Buying own suits

[Fameandfortune]

My husband is going to be best man in September. The groom has just told him that to save money they’re not hiring suits and dh should just wear his own. The groom is going to let him know colours. He doesn’t own a suitable suit so will have to buy one. Is this a common way to do it? At our wedding we paid for suit hire & bridesmaid dresses.

The wedding is costing us a lot of money already that we really can’t afford (stag/hen do, travel, hotel, wedding gift etc) and it feels very frustrating that they are saving money by passing the suit cost on.

Absolutely @System0matix

The groom was best man at our wedding last year and we hired suits for the wedding party. I had assumed it would be the same for his wedding. The wedding is at the opposite end of the country to where we live so there’s already added cost of travel and accommodation. Obviously that’s not the bride and grooms problem but it’s just that added to stag/hen parties and then new suit has meant this is going to be a very expensive wedding for us. Hopefully they will just want a classic style suit which dh will be able to use again

Is the suit he already has significantly different to the one he is expected to wear? Can he just not get away with buying a new shirt and tie?

I know my husband is the type who would ne be dictated to like this. He wouldn't make a fuss, he would just not buy a new suit as he has a perfectly good one in the wardrobe (that he has never worn).

We bought our best man's suit as he didn't own one. If he'd owned one (any colour) he'd have worn that. The groomsmen all already owned one. I really think it's bloody cheeky to specify colour, ties etc if you're not paying, and especially if they won't get worn again.

You said he does own one suit. I think dh should send a message saying he can't afford a new suit and accessories so he'll have to wear his own. Word it nicely but firmly. What about hiring or borrowing one from a friend (although hard to find someone the exact right size!)

Minko8990 - it doesn't really matter how much the additional matching accessories cost in relation to the suit. The attendees would not have purchased these items for the wedding anyway - presumably already having perfectly good shirts, ties and shoes.

We were told that the suit my DH was pressured into buying was "easy to wear" and would "do him well at work", except he doesn't wear suits at work. It's the waste as well as the expense that bugged me - I'd rather he paid £500 or more for a decent suit than £150 for one he's unlikely to wear again. Would much rather that he hired but that wasn't an option. For the other members of the party who didn't have suits, they didn't mind so much as they will use them, plus their suits were paid for.

I actually almost caused a family rift as I assumed they were joking when they said DH had to buy it and that a chat would show how ridiculous an idea it was. Heck no - between that and the £200+ hotel that we were told everyone was staying in -no that will just be us and the B&G then - it was an expensive weekend.

I don't begrudge people their special day. I do object to wedding party members having to fork out so that B&G can have their special day in matching colour schemes, when really it shouldn't matter as long as everyone is smart.

I personally think if you dictate the terms of the wedding party’s outfit, you ought to pay for it.

Rookiemare the difference is we didn’t pressure, it was made clear when we asked what the situation was and that it was completely ok if people didn’t want to. I only said the price was more than to show we took the largest sum, and covered all items which were part of colour scheme. We also went shopping altogether and chose a suit everyone liked and would be happy to wear again. All groomsmen got gifts and we asked for no gifts. This is the way all our friends have done things so it’s fair.

We’re at that age when we’re attending 4-6 weddings a year so we’ve always been happy to buy a new suit the times DH is groomsman as he doesn’t want to attend 6 occasions in a row wearing the same suit anyway!

It obviously depends on social groups and how the question is posed (not demanded) but this is 100% the norm in ours.

If your DH doesn't need a suit, could you hire instead? Depending on what's been specified, it could be worth looking into as it might work out cheaper.

I think depends on situation. My DH was best man for our friends and they asked if he could wear a blue suit. He didnt own any suit at that time (first wedding and he doesnt wear suits to work) he chose an expensive suit because at the time he could afford it. He then wore that suit for our own wedding and we chose to hire the same style and colour for our ushers and best man as we wanting matching. But now we are saving and ttc. If we were in the same situation and he was a best man/usher, we would say he has a blue suit he can wear but if you want him to wear a specific color. Id expect them to pay for the hire. I wouldnt let him buy another new suit when he has a decent one anyway.