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Original poster

No free bar

101 replies

DollyLlama · 09/02/2018 12:05

I’m planning my wedding reception for June and have found a lovely venue in a football ground. Really nice, plenty of room and it’s 1 month after the wedding as were eloping to Gretna Green.

Here lies the problem. They won’t let us provide any alcohol for the tables and I’m really reluctant to have a free bar (or put money behind it) because we’re trying to keep costs really low (plus I work for their drinks supplier so I know their eye watering mark up on the drinks).

Would it be frowned upon to have a pay bar? I’ve only ever been to one wedding that had a free bar and people just went mad getting drink after drink and barely finishing it before they got the next and we just can’t afford that.

OP posts:
Original poster
DollyLlama · 10/02/2018 11:04

Ok I’m going to come across really stupid now, but can someone explain what corkage is please? Blush

OP posts:
plimsolls · 10/02/2018 11:11

I’m confused by your OP

You can’t supply your own (cheaper) wine for the tables. But can you buy wine for the tables from the venue? If so, do that.

Fine not to have an all out “all-you-can-drink” free drinks from the bar situation but I do think you should provide at least the equivalent of one glass of wine with the food.

And something for people to toast you with? Either a welcome drink for a toast when you walk in, or something with the speeches.

plimsolls · 10/02/2018 11:12

Corkage is a fee charged by the venue when you bring your own wine. Theoretically it covers the “admin” costs..... glasses, laying out the wine in the table, uncorking it.

ReinettePompadour · 10/02/2018 11:13

what corkage is please?

Corkage is the fee the venue charges you for bringing your own alcohol. Its to cover their staff wages for serving the drinks and their loss of mark up they would have got had you bought their drinks.

SequinsOnEverything · 10/02/2018 11:19

I think a pay bar is fine, but you should have wine on the tables. When you say they won't let you do you mean they won't let you bring your own, you have to buy it from them?

Fluffycloudland77 · 10/02/2018 11:23

I have never been to a wedding with a free bar. Ours had two or three free drinks with the meal incl a toast.

We had a pay bar after that.

Aragog · 10/02/2018 11:27

I have NEVER been to a wedding where the bar is free. I've been to dozens of weddings over the years. Big and small. Hosted by a range of people from different backgrounds. Albeit we are not based in London or down south, (been to a couple down south but again no free bar) if that makes a difference.

I've had free wine in the table - normally equates to around half a bottle per person, and sometimes a glass of something on arrival. That's it. Never the bar into the evening free, not a free for all where people can choose their own drinks for the full bar range.

Aragog · 10/02/2018 11:32

As for someone turning up without any money on them?! Who does that???? Why would someone not even have a card on them? More fool them if they don't take out some form of funds with them on a day/evening out.

As for judging someone for no free bar? Are these people your family and friends? And you're judging them for not giving you alcohol for free, despite them feeding you and it actually being an invitation rather than a summons!!

NewYearNiki · 10/02/2018 11:40

You cant actually elope to Gretna Green anymore.

It's about £750 & at least a months notice required.

I was there last year. It is a mini retail park and restaurant too and a museum.

It draws masses of tourists and is busy and crowded.

Its a conveyor belt and there was wedding after wedding after wedding there.

The ceremony also takes place within the museum area that is full of tourists. My friend and I were standing looking at an attraction in the museum and then the piper started up and the doors at the end opened with no warning and there's the sodding bride and wedding party walking the aisle that is just part of the museum. We had to dodge to one side.

The weddings take place behind a curtain in the museum so anyone can hear it.

It is impersonal and conveyor belt like. Last place Id get married.

Provide some drink if not a free bar.

OrangeCarpet · 10/02/2018 11:45

I did not have a free bar as it was a big wedding with 150 guests and paying for food and venue was our limit. In the invitations I put that it was a cash bar so that people were prepared. Drinks were quite cheap at it was a council run venue. We did pay the venue to provide prosecco to guests during the speeches. For a small fee the venue also provided tea urns and cups and we provided tea, coffee, sugar and milk so people could make their own hot drinks. It was a family wedding with lots of people with kids and people who were driving so the free hot drinks were popular. I don’t think many people expect a free bar unless they are going to a wedding where they know the couple are very well off.

Abra1de · 10/02/2018 12:00

Why not have a wedding reception in early afternoon with champagne toasts and wine on the table and end it with wedding cake and another champagne toast and people waving you off? No bar at all needed! Perhaps too late now for the OP.

greathat · 10/02/2018 14:29

I would never expect a free bar, but if there was a sit down meal I'd prob expect wine and some fizz for the toasts. I wouldn't judge if there wasn't any though. People don't have to have booZe!

Original poster
DollyLlama · 10/02/2018 14:58

They never mentioned anything about corkage, maybe if I ask them about that then.

He didn’t sound like he knew very much about it on the phone and unfortunately, neither do I! I’ll call him back and ask him when I get a chance and clarify as was only a quick call first off.

OP posts:
Original poster
DollyLlama · 10/02/2018 15:01

@NewYearNiki I’ve been in contact with them about a venue, fees, registrar cost etc. When I say eloping I mean going on our own, not arriving on the day with no plans.

I know it’s probably going to be quite busy but that’s alright with us.

OP posts:
Yvest · 10/02/2018 15:11

I’ve only been I 1 wedding without a free bar. A free bar is totally the norm where we are although some bars are limited to wine, beer and house spirits, no shots. The norm here is prosecco and cocktails, usually a choice of 2 or 3, wine with the meal and then an open bar plus soft drinks. Because it’s the norm I’ve never seen people over do it.

FartyMcLetFly · 10/02/2018 15:55

I've never in my life been to a wedding with a free bar - I clearly need to rethink my friendship group HmmGrin

DexyMidnight · 11/02/2018 18:10

Sorry, have not read the full thread.

It is fine to have a pay bar for after dinner (or for anyone who doesn't like the drinks that are provided) but in my opinion you MUST provide reception drinks (prosecco, OJ, a G&T) for after ceremony and wine for the tables during meal.

I don't want to sound mean but i would be mighty p**sed off if i went to a wedding and there were no drinks provided at all. That's not really 'hosting' a party. Sorry.

I saw someone early in the thread suggested tokens - that worked well for us. Everyone got three tokens for after dinner in their (empty) wine glass at the table setting, in lieu of favours. It stopped huge rush to the bar after dinner because there was no tab that was going to run out, and it speeded up getting served (no cash to handle).

Commuterface · 11/02/2018 18:14

I’ve never been to a wedding with a free bar. I’m also a bit wary of money being put behind the bar as my parents were really taken advantage of this way, when my brother got married (people ordering triple shots and no money left for anyone else to have a drink)

Alwayscommuting · 11/02/2018 18:19

I think it depends where you live. I’ve never been to a wedding with a free bar and I don’t think it’s the norm here. I went to a do for a fancy work place with a free bar and it was madness. People just went daft.

Polkadot1974 · 11/02/2018 18:39

Sadly people do take the pee with free bars. The fact that people mention ordering triple shots and a stampede before cash runs out and dos where folks have got super smashed would mean I’d not do it unless I was filthy rich. A colleague of my partner’s had free bar and it didn’t end well.

field10 · 11/02/2018 20:11

Having a free bar encourages binge drinking unfortunately And it is ridiculously expensive. I have never been to a wedding or any function that has a free bar. Most have as I did 1 drink per person. We had sangria as it was a Spanish theme. The wedding and reception will cost you enough as it is and people will only get greedy. Most people expect to buy there own drinks at weddings in normal society.

Luckycatsplat · 11/02/2018 20:14

I've never been to a wedding with a free bar. I'd be surprised if there was.

I guess I expect a coupke of bottles of wine on tge tables but no biggy if there isn't.

The people who will complain about buying tgeir own beer at your wedding are tge wrong type of guests tbh.

ladymariner · 11/02/2018 20:18

Can't believe there are people who would judge if there wasn't a free bar....Christ, it certainly takes all sorts!

YellowMakesMeSmile · 11/02/2018 21:21

Its poor manners not to provide any drinks for guests you invite to a party, which is what this is given the wedding will have been a month before.

I'd save the money though and skip the whole thing, seems weird not to want anybody at the wedding but then have a party a month later. They cynic in me would think it was about gifts.

Redglitter · 11/02/2018 22:57

There's a difference between supplying drinks and having a free bar. I've never been to a wedding with a free bar but we've always had drinks. A drink on arrival, wine with dinner & a drink for toasts. It doesn't have to be one extreme of the other

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