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Original poster

Anyone care to share what was a total waste of £ in hindsight?

81 replies

MandaraSugar · 09/01/2018 15:38

NB: I don't mean "I don't understand why people spend £25K and the rest on one day..." but things you/someone you know chose to do that looking back wasn't worth the £ or time that went into it.

Several years ago I was my friend's bridesmaid - we spent many hours in the run up to the wedding making handmade soaps as favours (including wrapping and putting twine around them the night before) for 100+ guests, people appreciated the gesture but at the end of the night at least 75% of them were just discarded, unwrapped on the tables. We were talking the other night about how, effectively, they were a waste of time and £.

DNiece got married last year and spent a tidy sum getting a graphic designer to layout artwork for the seating plan, name for each table and place name for each guest etc so all in the same font and colours - looked really lovely, however she said she wishes she would have just taken the venue up on their offer to put the table plan up on a big screen (almost like a powerpoint slide I guess) and do basic table and place names as when it was all over and she asked friends/family if they liked it most said they didn't notice/didn't remember the seating plan, or anything that was nicely graphic designed and printed Nevertheless, they had a great day. Think she was just grumpy it was all over and they still owed a couple of invoices to suppliers.

Don't know of anyone who has done this, however I see buying a veil from new as a waste (unless there's a v.specific one you want) as so many people sell them 2nd hand after only wearing them a few hours.

OP posts:

greendale17 · 09/01/2018 16:45

We had chocolates as favours and nothing was left behind

FusionChefGeoff · 09/01/2018 16:47

The one thing I wish over and over again I wish I HAD spent money on (even though it was big bucks) was a professional video.

Photos don't do it justice and my memory is fading as I was so anxious / hyped up to start with and then pretty shit faced after

sinceyouask · 09/01/2018 16:47

TBH, for us, the whole thing really. We really would have liked to just go off and get married in our jeans in a register office in a random town- if there was a Vegas in the UK, we'd have gone there! But my DM really wanted me to have a proper wedding, so we did. Still small scale, and without bridesmaids and speeches and so on, and it was a nice day, but really not worth the cost.

Bojangles33 · 09/01/2018 16:49

Agree that if you're doing favours, make them consumable. We had fudge and miniature whiskeys, not a single one got left behind!

Figrollsnotfatrolls · 09/01/2018 16:51

First wedding - the groom's suit, in fact the entire groom - would have been a much better day if he hadn't been there at all!!
Last wedding dress was £25 and looked amazing!!

TheEmmaDilemma · 09/01/2018 16:52

Favours, I went all out, half got left.
Cake - unless it's really your THING, M&S.

Main tip, don't sweat the small stuff. Food, drink, music, good time is what counts.

calzone · 09/01/2018 16:53

I went to 4 weddings last year.

My summation of these events were......

You need

Decent food
Enough drink or affordable booze.
A good band or decent dj who will get people dancing.
A sweet table was a must at one of these weddings as the food was truly truly shite.

You don't need

Favours
Matching bridesmaid shoes
Too much table shite
An expensive cake.....honestly a squidgy chocolate cake will do.

Bellamuerte · 09/01/2018 16:59

My handmade dress was a huge waste of money. It turned out to be hideous and DH had to force me to wear it. Wish I'd just bought one from Monsoon. Booking a cheap photographer was a waste too - we have no decent photos so might as well have had no photographer at all.

SPARKS17 · 09/01/2018 17:03

The priority for our wedding was amazing food and drink for our guests and a stonking honeymoon. But to do that we said no to:
Bridesmaids
Groomsmen
Fresh Flowers (I made arrangements using faux hydrangeas) our venue was beautiful and didn't need much extra
Favours
Fripperies (eg. stupid signs, guest books etc,)
Makeup artist & Hair stylist (i took lessons at Bobbi Brown and practiced until I nailed it, my face is my face at the end of the day a makeup artist won't change much)
Husband hired a suit (youngs suit hire, I was a little horrified at the thought of suit hire but he didn't care and totally pulled it off)

We spent big bucks on a photographer and there are only a handful I really love, but then if we had spent less I might not have any I love. So not sure what I would do there!

Would probably have spent less on my dress in hindsight I didn't try on a dream dress so just bought the one I liked the most, I never "loved" it. Also the last fitting I don't think made any difference yet cost £150. Actual money down the drain.

The biggest win of the whole wedding was the videographer, DH and I fell out over this one as he thought it was a waste of money and I insisted on it. I have a terrible memory and cannot remember much of the day (it was less than 6 months ago) so the video truly bought the day back to life and seeing all my friends and family smiling and happy just makes it worth every penny.

Hoppinggreen · 09/01/2018 17:04

thecats no, my bridesmaids limped through the whole day!

BrownTurkey · 09/01/2018 17:05

Paying for meals for flakey guests who didn't bother to come on the day. Any expense that isn't either essential, makes you happy, or makes your guests more comfortable (impossible to make guests happy, some will complain whatever).

CuteOrangeElephant · 09/01/2018 17:13

I had a personalised wedding post box: ivory cardboard post box from Amazon for a fiver, sprayed the lid a copper colour (can of paint was used for other things in the wedding) and I let my nieces decorate the box (cost: pencils, glitter glue and decorative leafs that were used for other decorations too). It looked very good if I say so myself .

geeup · 09/01/2018 17:13

We paid extra to have fancier glasswear at our venue. Absolutely loads got smashed by accident (wobbly tables - not guests fault) and cost a fortune. Wish we'd just stuck with the bog standard ones!

Polyanthus · 09/01/2018 17:26

Interesting thread. I've been married 20 years now. I don't regret a penny of the cost of the food and drink - we had a marquee wedding so provided all the alcohol. The food was simple but good (cold meats, proper baked potatoes, and a few, good salads). I loved all the flowers too - my lovely. Mum and her flower club friends arranged them for us, so we had masses but only had wholesale costs.

My dress was really nice but I think I would have liked an off the peg one just as much. I spent far too much having one made to measure. I'm glad I've got a few photographs but these days I wouldn't have a paid photographer. An even bigger waste of money was the DVD - don't think I've looked at it more than once and can't really imagine wanting to watch it again.

Elmosmum · 09/01/2018 17:27

@Justmuddlingalong it's a cardboard tree (or real branches sprayed white) with little message cards that the guests can write 'wishes' on for the new couple

TheCraicDealer · 09/01/2018 17:28

I wasn't going to do favours then saw amazing ones (personalised tea towels!) that went with our quasi-theme/venue. Tbh they weren't cheap but they were very us and got a good laugh. I got a few pics at xmas of them being used to keep turkeys warm.

There's a lot of crap that Pinterest/Etsy tells you you "need" for the wedding party. Nope, you don't. The vast majority is a complete waste of money. I'm looking at you, pyjamas, jute bags, clothes hangers, cards, wine glasses, hoodies etc. See also elaborate centrepieces. Give your florist a budget per table and let them sort it, honestly, because DIYing something "cute" will cost you way more in time, headspace and money for the materials. Ignore the temptation to do crafty shit unless you genuinely enjoy it.

Our wedding cost c. 18k. That might seem like we went toke but tbh we made a lot of "sensible" choices so that we could spend more on things like the venue, music teatowels and booze. The whole day was at one location which meant no fannying about with cars. I got ready at home and we got posh taxis (ie unmarked and with drivers in suits) from a local firm to the venue. DH drove himself and the grooms party- saved several hundred quid on "wedding" cars. My (beautiful horsetail trimmed) cathedral length veil was £12 from Amazon. My shoes were £40 from ASOS and my sparkly hair comb thing was £4 from eBay. The bridesmaids' earrings were £6 a pair from Sainsburys. I DIYed the table settings and favour labels.

If there was one thing I'd skimp on again it would be the stationary. Ours wasn't cheap and what we ended up with was pretty "meh". There's so many options online where you can DIY it- Mixbook, Vistaprint, Papier, etc that tbh unless you find somewhere really good value it's just not worth the premium.

NoughtTimesNought · 09/01/2018 17:32

X5 steam cleaner. Total shite!

GoldilocksAndTheThreePears · 09/01/2018 17:33

My sister wanted a sweet bar or whatever at her wedding, she got 3 or 4 tubs of their favourite sweets from wholesaler, nice bowls and scoops from a Home Bargains type place, stack of nice old-fashioned paper bags. Sorted for very little and they took a lot of sweets home!

JaimesGoldenHand · 09/01/2018 17:38

My wedding rules:

Spend what you feel comfortable with on basics - your dress, bridesmaid dresses, suit hire etc. Please yourself, within your budget.

Everything else (including cake, flowers, cats, photographer), ask the question: would my guests rather I put this money behind the bar?

Do not be fooled into thinking homemade necessarily = cheaper. By the time I'd bought cards for the invitations and bits to decorate them, I might as well have paid someone to do them and would have saved myself time and effort too.

You can get married in a registry office with the two of you and a couple of witnesses for very little. The rest is window dressing. Don't get into debt over a party.

JaimesGoldenHand · 09/01/2018 17:43

NB in Rule 2 cars, not cats and I'm not saying don't have cars, flowers, cake etc, just think twice before you go with something über- schmancy that no one will notice or care about.

Noluthando · 09/01/2018 17:44

Our wedding was fairly budget and people helped out by paying for things or for example a family friend drove us in his posh car.

My mum paid for the flowers and if I'd know how much they were I wouldn't have agreed to it. absolutely extortionate and shrivelled up by the evening.

I've been to a wedding with a photo booth and it was great. everyone enjoyed it but I don't know how much it cost.

Our photographer was paid for by a friend and ended up losing a main portion of our photos. friends and family had taken some great ones.

The main tip I took from mumsnet was make sure guests are not waiting around hungry so we made sure there were canapés after the ceremony before the meal while we did photos. I think that was worth the money.

We didn't do favours and no-one mentioned it.

Time40 · 09/01/2018 17:45

Cake - biggest waste of money ever. We didn't have one and no-one noticed

But cake is the very, very best thing about weddings! I see cake as some compensation for the trouble and expense of going to the event. It has to be proper cake, with marzipan and rock-hard icing, otherwise I feel cheated.

Whisky2014 · 09/01/2018 17:47

I'm getting married in Nov.

I've asked my granny to make tablet for the favours.
I'm not going to spend £££ on flowers. The main expenses are the band (2k) and venue + food (6k).
No table pieces except for a small thing of flowers.
My dress was 1.5k but parents have bought that. My friends are gifting hair cosy.
I am toying with videographer, will deffo have a photographer but not gona spend hours in pics. 1 hour max

Whisky2014 · 09/01/2018 17:48

Oh and me and my mum will make the cake ourselves.

MardAsSnails · 09/01/2018 18:00

Things I've noticed (or not) from recent weddings

nobody notices anything. They all want to chat, mingle, eat and drink and have a good time. Nobody gives a fuck about details.

That's it.

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