Has anyone actually been to a good wedding?

[ExpatMrs]

Don't get me wrong, I love all these posts about horror weddings, they're a great giggle, but has anyone been to a wedding and had a great time?
Having been a BM 12 too many times , I've certainly thoroughly enjoyed some but maybe others, not so much!

I totally loved mine and people still say to us (unprompted) that they had a ball. I think I learned from watching other bridezillas that you should just go with the flow and enjoy your day.

Yep, my own. Most of my guests told me they had a fab time so that's great with me. Unless they were telling fibs! 😂

RhinoGirl
I have the feeling that anyone who responds to this are likely to say their own! My BFF's wasn't great but she still goes on about what a fabulous day she had and I often wonder if we were at the same event!

Loads. What's not to like? Nice food, nice drink, dancing, speeches, happy people. I think I've only been to one awful one.

I once went to a wedding of an older couple, both married before, so they didn't want the whole shebang.
It was just them and two witnesses who went off to a registry in the morning then we all met them back at their converted barn house and partied in the garden well into the night. They had a big hog roast and lots of wooden planters dotted around the garden filled with ice and champagne that you just helped yourself to along with a live band. I wore a summery dress, floppy sun hat and flip flops and had a ball.
It was many years ago now and I no longer see them as the groom was a colleague of my ex but I still remember it fondly.

Yes, lots! And not just my own. Things that make weddings good:

Helps if you are invested in the couple
I prefer short sharp ceremonies
Brilliant and/or relatively short speeches
A seating plan and I have sat with strangers before and had a good time
Dinner not too drawn out
Well timed so no huge lags or extended photo sessions
Excellent band / disco
Nice people
Free bar (but not essential)

Disagree that wedding is all about the b&g. Try to approach it as if you would be attending and take it from there or ditch the wedding and get married at a registry office.

mnpeasantry
I love the speeches too, always look forward to them.

Yeah loads. In fact I haven't been to a bad one (one pretty dull one, but not bad).
As long as I'm with friends and have wine and music I'm happy!

Three weddings that I have attended really stand out, great venue, excellent food, plenty to drink, pleasant guests, short speeches - sadly all three ended in divorce.

In fact I did a calculation at worked out that 80% of the weddings I have attended have ended in divorce - including my own (first) wedding .

Probably that is why I am now totally cynical about weddings.

Ecureuil
I'm happy to hear this, I thought I was the only one who was happy to get an invite through the post. So often I read on MN about folk wedding bashing.
Aside from the aforementioned BFF's wedding (shenanigans there are far too outing to list on here) then on the whole, I've always had a good time.

Ragwort
I'm away to calculate the divorce rate of the ones I've attended now...

My sister in law and brothers! One year ago was amazing. She had organized the whole thing from all inclusive hotel, bus to the church, bus to reception site, rooms at the reception venue so people with children could stay and not leave early. I could go on and on it was the best.
The couple were both getting married for the first time in their 40's.
My brother said his vows in Spanish and looked her in the eyes and smiled with each verse....oh one of the priests (there were 4) did translations at appropriate times.
They received a special certificate from the POPE! Who knew such things were possible.
Everyone stayed for two days (yes the couple) after the wedding. Thanked everyone gave us tours of the city, honestly spent time with the family.
The men and women were dressed sooooo fine, I couldn't believe my eyes.

I've been to a lot of weddings and the vast majority have been good fun, a few really amazing and three that I can recall were pretty terrible (combination of flooded marquees/awful food/lengthy photographs with not enough booze to pass the time/weird seating arrangements/unwelcoming hosts). The excellent ones have all had lots of booze, a well thought out timeline for the day and a decent band.

Out2pasture
Sounds really lovely!

welshweasel
Totally agree with your list of what could spoil a day. Unwelcoming hosts are awful though, make you wonder why they bothered!

4 piece quartet at the church, classical guitar at the reception. Alcohol but no one really drank, loads of people chatting. There was a DJ but we were there with our grandchild and settled about 11.
Bused the following morning back to the all inclusive.
Nothing forgotten.
I wish I had dressed better :(. Satin gowns thick jaquards all men (except my dh) in tux (grey pinstripe) with tails alllll night not one loosened his collar. It was stunning

Yes, I have. A family member. DH and I worked out it probably cost between £80K and £100K so that probably contributed to the fabulousness.

Every little detail had been thought about. Bride's Mum is very arty so there were so many little touches that you just cannot buy, it was the personalised touch that did it. Wedding favours were a small bottle of homemade sloe gin with a pretty handmade label. It was held in their garden, the marquee was stunning. When it lit up at night it was like looking up at the stars above you.

On arrival, really delicious different cocktails, there was a theme that ran through the whole thing and every corner you turned was something on that theme from a decorated old bicycyle with basket to put cards in, to shabby chic'd signs with directions.

There were little labels and quirky things everywhere. Then when day turned to night, the live band were just the best I've ever heard all topped off with a firework display as we left.

But all this costs a lot and I can't imagine every going again to a wedding quite like it.

Not so good weddings: food and drink runs out and go on for too long. Wedding at 12, late lunch at posh hotel 25 mins away in central London for half the guests with 1 glass of cheap fizz in the 90 mins it took for pictures. Finished at about five followed by an evening do on the other side of London with a pay bar.

A huge amount of schlepping about, no thought for the guests, but all the trimmings were there vis a vis expensive frock, statement church, ribboned cars, etc. All made for marvellous photos but there was little consideration for the guests. DH saw it all because he escorted his mother from church to reception to evening do. We were second class guests see, invited to the church, told we weren't invited to the reception because they could only afford to invite some people but invited to the evening do where guests had to pay for everything. 12 hours of schlepping across London in cabs or on public transport in a raincoat (which they asked guests to wear if they owned) and little hospitality but I think it was considered a privilege for guests to attend.

My oldest brother's wedding was lovely - church service went well and the reception was held at a country house hotel which was booked out just for the wedding party (the guests all staying at the hotel so no one had to worry about designated drivers or anything and children were welcome so no need to worry about childcare). Great food, beautiful setting, and my uncle got so drunk he let us put our drinks on his tab

Sorry that descended into worst wedding. Blows away red mist.

Yes. I haven't been to many and none of them fit the MN "norm" of being overly extravagant affairs complete with bridezilla, no children and feuding relatives. They have all been civilised affairs.

The only one I didn't enjoy was at the end of November with the reception being held in an unheated hall. I was frozen and had to keep my coat on. We left as early as we politely could.

Roussette & Natsku
How nice to have such fond memories of a day and both of them being for family members. I love reading about them.

OhTheRoses
You gave me a good giggle though!

God yeah loads. 1 in a French chateau, 2 in English stately homes ( owned by friends of the family). Several on the banks of the Thames -only one in a country house hotel- by far the worst.

Lonicera
I can think of nothing worse than being cold. Regardless of any of the other points, when you're sitting somewhere and you're chilled to the bone it's too difficult to enjoy. What a shame!

We've got 4 weddings to go to next year. One in Dublin, one in Cornwall and 2 locally to us. I think they will all be good ones!

I've been to upwards of 40 weddings (will have to write a list) and have throughly enjoyed all but 2 and they weren't awful, just not amazing. Three couples are now divorced so a pretty high success rate so far!