To not want to "now kiss the bride"

[Rainbowsandunicorns88]

We're arguing about this. we got the script from the registrar to complete for the ceremony. Kissing at the end of the service is optional on the form. My thinking is that I want our first kiss as husband and wife to be private and personal not in front of 70 onlookers. He wants "tradition" when ffs it's 2017.

I adore my husband, but I wasn't keen on getting married, though he really wanted to, and we ended up having to do it for a practical reason -- so we did it with two witnesses in jeans, and it was actually hilarious, because the registry office staff were obviously used to trying to create a sense of occasion and asking about rings, music, photos, and we were all 'No, no, let's just get through this as fast as we can.' There was definitely no kissing.

rainbow - I think Xenophile is referring to the consummation of a marriage as a way of 'sealing' the marriage.

"You can annul a marriage if:

it wasn’t consummated - you haven’t had sex with the person you married since the wedding (doesn’t apply for same sex couples)"

I always think the first dance is more embarrassing and cringey. Especially done to a slow love song, gazing into each other's eyes in front of everyone.

Jesus, that David Gest clip...

Surely the biggest PDA of the day is the simply getting married. There isn't much bigger display of affection that saying you want to spend your lives together!

Isn't marriage about as big a PDA as you can get?!

David Gest obviously heard, "You may now eat the bride".

If there's a way of saying to the onlookers "can you turn away for a moment", id do it but I don't want them all gawping.

Our vicar didn't say it, and I was disappointed! Long time ago now though...

A high five would be brilliant!

Cheers Madison I think it'd be funny!

I'm also not a fan of PDAs, but I love the "now kiss the bride" moment at weddings - it's the part where everyone gets to clap and cheer and be joyful after holding in emotions through the ceremony and sets a good tone for the party after.

If you decide not to have the kiss, I would make sure there's something at the end that gives everyone a chance to applaud!

Surely no-one seriously interprets this as an interpretation to do a full-on French kiss? If you want to keep something for "special" then you can do a quick peck and do the full snog in private.

OP if i were at a wedding where they high-fived I would politely laugh along but cringe inwardly a LOT and not be able to look at DH afterwards for fear of inappropriate giggling. That's up there with quirky vows and choreographed dance routines for me. Really hope you are kidding.

if it is optional the registrar will move swiftly on

I too thought it was an Americanism.

Apotheke... maybe I am but so what? Every wedding is up to the couple how they want it to be. I couldn't give a shit about what other people thought of our choices.

I don't remember it from our wedding, I don't think we bothered with it. It was 24 years ago though, so perhaps I have just forgotten but I don't think so. I would have found it cringeworthy.

If you aren't comfortable with it then don't do it.

I couldn't give a shit about what other people thought of our choices.*

So why ask then?

Then it's absolutely fine if you don't 'give a shit' about your guests' opinions. I however would care about making elderly relatives feel awkward during the ceremony. And I would care about others thinking my ceremony is cringeworthy, perhaps that's my problem, but no one is likely to tell you that in real life which is why mumsnet is great for people telling you what they would actually think but never say to a bride.

Some will think it's awesome and shows your personality others will think it's tacky, embarrassing or inappropriate. Probably only the former group will ever tell you though. You now know that so can decide accordingly.

I wanted to do an awkward hand shake instead, I thought it was hilarious, DH not so much so!

I don't think it's a big deal. Have a peck on the cheek or hug or something. I doubt the guests will really notice or remember.

I can't help thinking that if you don't give a shit what people think , then why are you worried about a quick kiss?

Yes I don't give a shit about what others think. I DO give a shit about ensuring dp and I agree.

Apotheke tell me how elderly guests would feel awkward?

If anyone, what ever age feels awkward about a couple kissing on their wedding day needs to get a massive grip!

I was thinking of my relatives, perhaps yours are less traditional. My grandmother was horrified enough that we didn't have a religious ceremony, I think she might have had a heart attack if I'd high-fived the groom.

Anyhow if you care about what your DP wants then I will remind you of your OP. "He wants "tradition" when ffs it's 2017." His opinion is the only other one that really matters, but you seem just as disparaging of his as of a bunch of strangers on the internet.

You seem very angry about this, why ask opinions? Maybe just leave this thread alone and talk to your DP. Perhaps don't use "FFS it's 2017" as your opening argument though.