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Original poster

How much to "charge" for accommodation?

48 replies

LiefieLiefie · 26/02/2017 21:33

DP and I are getting married next year and are looking at venues in the European country where we first met. We are looking at venues this week, but I already have a favourite in mind.

We are planning to do it over a bank holiday weekend, so people won't have to take time off work/school. We are planning to hire a venue exclusively - the above has accommodation for 44 people. We will cater lunch and dinner on arrival day, plus BL+D day of the wedding and B on the Monday. We will also provide alcohol.

There are cheapish flights flying out but no direct flights on the Monday, so people will have to fly via Amsterdam, Paris, Heathrow etc.

Although we're aware flights etc can be expensive, we can't afford to pay for people's room plus all the catering/drinks. As such, we'll need to "charge" our guests - but we are struggling to work out how much is acceptable.

How much do you think is acceptable for us to ask our guests for? Is it best to "charge" per room or per person?

We were thinking of telling guests that rooms are X amount which includes meals etc. We're massively aware that a wedding abroad is an inconvenience and already expensive so we don't want people thinking that we are knobs. Thanks!

OP posts:
Ginmakesitallok · 26/02/2017 21:34

How much is it costing you?

Original poster
LiefieLiefie · 26/02/2017 21:36

The initial quote for the venue hire is 6500 euros plus 1450 euros per night for the 44 people. So 9400 euros for the venue and accommodation for two nights.

No idea yet on caterer's etc but was thinking of a continental style breakfast, deli lunches and pizzas/salads for dinner on arrival day.

OP posts:
ChicRock · 26/02/2017 21:37

So you want to hire the venue exclusively, but you want your guests to stump up for it?

user1471548375 · 26/02/2017 21:39

Why not cater the actual wedding but ask guests to sort them selves put the rest of the time?

WheresTheEvidence · 26/02/2017 21:40

So it's roughly £33 per person per night?

fakenamefornow · 26/02/2017 21:41

Why don't you ask guests to pay (whatever you choose) for the two nights accommodation instead of buying you a gift.

1400€ a night ÷ 44 would seem the right amount each.

Original poster
LiefieLiefie · 26/02/2017 21:41

Not in the slightest Chic, we want to offer people accommodation if they want it. Local hotels seem to charge between 60-150 euros per room per night. We were thinking of the lower end of this figure which would also include all food and drink.

People will have their own free will to attend or not. After all, it is an invitation, not a summons. We just want to make things easier and affordable for people to attend.

OP posts:
BigApple11 · 26/02/2017 21:42

I don't think you should be charging your own guests to come to your wedding !

Floralnomad · 26/02/2017 21:43

Honestly it's such aggravation and people already have to pay for flights, could you just ask people to pay what they want , unless it was one of my children I wouldn't travel to a wedding abroad and I'd have to think seriously about it even then as I don't like weddings and don't fly .

walkingtheplank · 26/02/2017 21:45

The accommodation is c.£100 per person so that's the max you could charge. You may not get 44 to come and not everyone will want to stay though so you'll have to absorb that yourself.

Not everyone will be impressed with the expense of a bank holiday wedding. We are attending one in Europe in August Bank Holiday weekend so the most expensive/busy time to go. Several people aren't impressed. I'm wondering where you're venue is if there is no direct flight on the Monday.

Anyway, have a great time.

empirerecordsrocked · 26/02/2017 21:45

It doesn't sit quite right with me - for a birthday maybe but a wedding where you probably buy an outfit and a present as well to get a bill for accommodation is taking the piss even if it is catered.

If you can't afford the hire get
Married in the uk.

Do you know 44 people that would be willing to commit - the less people the more £££.

MarciaBlaine · 26/02/2017 21:45

No direct flights, and a huge cost. I wouldn't bother. I really don't understand why UK based people feel the need to financially inconvenience their friends and family like this.

walkingtheplank · 26/02/2017 21:48

You can't charge for the food. That's part of the hosting.

BreatheDeep · 26/02/2017 21:49

As PP suggested I think the most reasonable way would be to say no presents but if they wanted to get you something then a donation for the accommodation would be appreciated. I probably wouldn't specifically state an amount though.

MadamePomfrey · 26/02/2017 21:50

Sorry to be clear are you wanting them to pay for accommodation in which case it's simple 1450/44= £33 or are you wanting to include part of the venue hire and catering in the amount??. If it's just the accommodation then offer away as you say people can accept/decline as they can afford. If it's the second personally I would think you were out or order venue hire and catering isn't something I would expect to pay for as a guest.

walkingtheplank · 26/02/2017 21:51

Sorry, I thought you were there for 3 nights. If just 2 nights you can only charge EUR66.

rollonthesummer · 26/02/2017 21:53

Do you have to pay the cost of the accommodation of this place (is it a hotel?) no matter how many people stay there?

Can't you just get married and then people can book a hotel room if they want to stay?

I personally hate destination weddings-they seem to mean a couple get a fancy wedding but pass the cost of it to their guests.

wrinkleseverywhere · 26/02/2017 21:53

I'd be quite happy with this. How I would phrase it is "we're getting married at X venue. We have [22] [double] rooms available at the venue for £[33] per night. Please let us know/contact the venue as soon as possible if you would like to reserve one of these. There are other hotels in the area. Y hotel is [short description] and ££ per night; Z hotel is [short descriptipn] and £££ per night."
I'm always prepared to pay a premium to stay at the venue as it's just easier and I can go up to my room if bored and would definitely stay there if it was the cheapest option.

Original poster
LiefieLiefie · 26/02/2017 21:55

We're not really UK-based at the moment and definitely won't be UK-based at the time of the wedding, so already planning to say no presents as it's too difficult taking things with us.

Under half the guests would be coming from the UK so the majority of guests would require accommodation if the wedding was in the UK anyway.

OP posts:
buzzmoon · 26/02/2017 21:55

Exactly what wrinkles said

LevantineHummus · 26/02/2017 21:56

If you charge the lower end of the figure and it includes food and drink, then your guests are paying for their food and drink, you're not covering that on their behalf.

It sounds like you have a lovely idea, but expect your guests to foot the bill. Is there anywhere else in your chosen country you can get married (preferably a city, so lots of accommodation options plus activities) and you cover all the costs for the wedding day - and maybe a brunch the following day - and leave your guests to chose what they want to do and where for the rest of their bank holiday weekend?

Original poster
LiefieLiefie · 26/02/2017 21:59

It's not a hotel, the venues that we are looking at are all large houses/villas/chateau type things with accommodation on site. Some have 8 rooms, some have room for all guests.

Didn't make it clear - we aren't expecting anyone to subsidise the venue cost. It would be for the accommodation. So just to cover the 2900 euros. We thought to provide some catering as it is rural, but may reconsider that.

OP posts:
Redlocks28 · 26/02/2017 22:14

But the venue is the accommodation, isn't it?

Imaginingdragonsagain · 26/02/2017 22:26

There was a very similar thread a while ago. Not enough people wanted the accommodation so the OP was left with empty rooms and a big bill. She then considered offering rooms at a discounted price to other guests so people would have paid different amounts. It wasn't a good situation.

Original poster
LiefieLiefie · 26/02/2017 22:27

No, it's two separate costs. 6500e for the venue, then on top 2900 for the accommodation.

Knowing us, we will probably end up going for a totally different venue.

OP posts:
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