How much to "charge" for accommodation?

[LiefieLiefie]

DP and I are getting married next year and are looking at venues in the European country where we first met. We are looking at venues this week, but I already have a favourite in mind.

We are planning to do it over a bank holiday weekend, so people won't have to take time off work/school. We are planning to hire a venue exclusively - the above has accommodation for 44 people. We will cater lunch and dinner on arrival day, plus BL+D day of the wedding and B on the Monday. We will also provide alcohol.

There are cheapish flights flying out but no direct flights on the Monday, so people will have to fly via Amsterdam, Paris, Heathrow etc.

Although we're aware flights etc can be expensive, we can't afford to pay for people's room plus all the catering/drinks. As such, we'll need to "charge" our guests - but we are struggling to work out how much is acceptable.

How much do you think is acceptable for us to ask our guests for? Is it best to "charge" per room or per person?

We were thinking of telling guests that rooms are X amount which includes meals etc. We're massively aware that a wedding abroad is an inconvenience and already expensive so we don't want people thinking that we are knobs. Thanks!

But you are expecting people to subsidise the venue cost.

You want to hire the venue exclusively.

You have to pay for that whether 44 people stay there or not.

If you don't pay for the accommodation then presumably 44 random people could be staying there during your wedding?

My heart sinks when we get invitations to weddings like this. We never go. It is so inconvenient and costly.

I really don't think it's unreasonable for people to pay for their own accommodation. Even if you had it in the U.K., most people would want to stay over if you had it in a hotel or something and you wouldn't be expected to pay for that.
It would be unreasonable to split the total cost of the wedding and expect people to pay, but just the accommodation part is absolutely fine imo.

It's a private house Chic, so I highly doubt others can have the accommodation, as we would have booked out the rest of the house and grounds that they wouldn't be able to have access to.

That's my thinking buzz. All the weddings that I have been to in the past couple of years have been away from my hometown so have had to stump up for accommodation.

I think we will work it on the basis that no guests will be expecting us to cover their accommodation, so we will ask them to pay for that.

This is the most expensive venue so maybe we will fall in love with a cheaper one and be able to pay for their accommodation. Seeing as we are asking them to fork out for flights.

I'm also confused by your pricing. At first it sounded like you expect guests to pay for their share of food & rooms & now I think you're saying just rooms?

As a guest I'd expect transparency in the cost so that if I chose to say I was sure I wasn't paying for the wedding itself. Although you're saying you don't expect guests I think some guests will feel they have to give something on top of the costs of the accommodation/travel/new outfit.

I also think not being able to get a direct flight will surely increase cost and time which could be off-putting. How far is the venue then from the airport?

Is it a reasonable holiday destination? If I were paying for flights, I might want to turn it into a holiday, so 2 nights accommodation wouldn'the be enough, and I would prefer say a week in a hotel/apartment/villa etc.

If it's a house that big with grounds, then how do people get there from the airport? If it's necessary to rent a car, then some may want to stay in the country longer and travel around (so not want to stay more than one night in your place) and others will be put off coming by having to rent a car (or do navigate public transport out of the airport -city centre).

I think it's fair enough to do as a pp said, so offer the accommodation as part of a list of others. The risk there is obviously that you'll not have enough people going for the rooms and you'll have to absorb the cost. But I think that's all you can do really. How many people are you inviting? The bigger the wedding the more likely you'll fill them.

Fwiw, I love invites like this!

I think accommodation costs are fair enough but what do you mean re. catering costs? If you're hiring a big house for your wedding then as far as I'm concerned, all catering costs are your responsibility. I've had friends do similar in the UK, I was more than happy to pay for accommodation, but we were fed lunch/dinner/breakfast x 2 days is some cases. Expensive for you potentially, yes, but if that's the wedding you want...

How much are the flights going to be? Indirect flights can be expensive.
What is th current cost of a return flight?

What are the costs of flights. Bank holiday could be quite expensive!

I was assuming Op meant catering for everything other than the wedding meal. Those staying 2 nights will need breakfast etc that they would have to pay for if staying elsewhere.

btw I also think the cost sounds reasonable. Very, in fact! But your guests will have more to think about than just that cost.

Is the venue in the countryside? If so what is there for them to do on the grounds if they don't rent a car? It's not a holiday if you're feeling about stuck somewhere!

And in general, how is transport from the airport to the venue (area)? And are your guests likely to arrive at difficult times?

Our wedding was in the middle of the countryside. We didn't go for an expensive venue, so covered the costs of all accommodation and meals and alcohol. It all seemed to be well planned until someone took an EasyJet flight arriving at about midnight. No public transport available, they didn't want to rent a car just for arrival and departure (fair enough), so someone had to go and collect them, which was a 2.5 hr round trip by the time they'd met up at airport. If you have a couple of arrivals like that, it can really be a pain. If there is good public transport - or decent taxi ride - to location then your guests can be more independent..which means one less thing for you to think about (which is never a bad thing when it comes to wedding planning!!).

I just feel that if you're hosting in a house for a weekend, then you do all catering costs, completely. It's what I would do if that was a route I was taking and it's what happened when friends have hired houses for their weddings - i.e. just things like plenty of bread and eggs for breakfast, burger van for pre-wedding dinner etc. Nothing fancy but if I'm going to a house I expect it to be different to when I'm paying for a hotel. That's possibly just me though! I think it would also depend on location of the house - if plenty of amenities then guests can easily sort themselves out, if in the middle of nowhere, they can't really.

It sounds like you want a secluded venue in an expensive location and you don't want to pay for it.

You are saying it costs £66 per night (is that per person?) but I presume that's based on everyone staying and paying-what if they don't?

How much is the flight for people on a BH weekend?
How will they get from the airport to the venue? How much will this cost?

I do think the lack of direct flights and the getting of people from the venue to the airport and VV is an issue. Could you suggest a flight time and try and sort out a mini bus or taxi shares at least?

I wouldn't expect my accommodation paid and I think €66 per night (this being cost to you divided by 44) is fair.

I see this as you pre-booking the accommodation for people, not shifting the venue hire onto them. You're paying the €6500 yourself, quite rightly, so I think it's fine.

The lack of direct flights is a massive arse for people though. I once had to fly to Ibiza indirect for a hen - including the stop over I could have travelled to New York in the flight time. To me this is a bigger issue than the rooms.

Just pay for the venue and then let your guests organise their accommodation directly with the venue.

i think the correct amount to 'charge' is €0.00 - pay the costs yourself - make it very clear on the invite that you want no presents and if you're lucky your guests will give cash instead.

TBH at the figures you are quoting of < €10,000 then that's a modest wedding going by some threads on here.

BTW do you know if these private villas you are looking at are happy to hire for a wedding party.

Even if you sort out the costings you've got another layer of admin to deal with.

Who's paid, what did they pay, which room are they saying in etc etc.

What about children - are they a whole person or not charged at all.

A destination wedding in the middle of nowhere (I'm a assuming France?) Won't be that much fun for your guests. Especially if you have fixed flight days.
I went to a wedding near a capital European city last summer. We spent a few days in the city then wedding, then back to the city. Good fun, not too expensive and easy flights.

I think 'charging' for accommodation is completely fine as long as you make clear guests are welcome to stay elsewhere if that suits them better (and as long as you can take the financial hit in the unlikely event that no-one wants to stays with you!) Personally i think you should subsidise the room cost. If you charge each guest the actual going rate when they could find something cheaper themselves you might find people are far less inclined to stay with you and then you'll end up with empty rooms and an even bigger bill. Counter-intuitive.

I recently had a lovely invite to a wedding in Italy. It said something like "Our wedding will take place at [Villa X]. A list of suggested accommodation options in the vicinity is set out below. Alternatively, we would be delighted if you would like to stay with us at [Villa X]. A suggested contribution of 150 per person for the 4 nights would be most appreciated".

Personally i think 300 for four nights (as a couple) is an absolute bargain. Their venue is beautiful, i could probably not afford to stay there under my own steam - it has a pool and tennis court etc and it saves faffing with taxis. Plus i can have a quick shower / re-fresh my hair in my own room.

The prices for all of the suggested accommodation varied between 50 and 120 per night, so all other things being equal, staying at their venue with them was actually cheaper (and nicer, imo).

I would be fine with that people usually have to pay to travel to weddings and for accommodation etc and only £33 a night is the cheapest I have ever heard of! As you are hosting for three days I think you could charge more like a cheap hotel cost in the UK about £90 a night per room as your costs for food and drink are going to be a lot more.