Child free wedding? Rude of acceptable?

[xjasminex]

Iv recently got engaged, have no children. We are begging to plan the wedding starting with the guest list. We would prefer to have a child free wedding and I'm wondering if this is considered rude? The reasons we would like a child free wedding are that money is tight and there will be 16 children under 9. We would prefer a more adult intimate wedding. We would also prefer to have an evening wedding. We also worry that children will be bored. Sadly not all of the 16 children are hmm well behaved and those children also have parents that let them run wild. I don't want to be cruel to my guests, there will be two Brest feeding mums hopefully so obviously they will be aloud to bring the babies! What do you think?

I feel the complete opposite Craigie.
The one wedding i had to take my 3 small dc to was really stressful. Those I was able to attend without any dc being there were great - going out with dh, relaxing, no stress. Really welcomed at a time when the dc were little.

I think it sounds lovely. You've obviously thought about it. A child free wedding is welcomed by some parents

I think it's really kind of you to still be letting the breastfeeding mums come as it isn't possible to leave bf babies sometimes.
I have two kid free weddings this year and I can't blimming wait!!!

Personally I'm not allowing BF babies except babies of wedding party (which is 5 babies). I would have done but there's been such a baby boom that it would be pushing 20 if we allowed all babies under one. We had planned to make an exception but that's far too many.

I agree people who won't let one or two babies come are a bit precious but having said that as a guest I hate being at a table with babies ("can you keep it down a bit, so and so is sleeping" etc), and I have been to more than one wedding where the parents have been inconsiderate about leaving when the baby is noisy. So it is fair enough to say no kids or babies at all in my opinion. It may be the mother can't attend but no one has an entitlement to attend or to demand someone has a wedding which enables them to do so.

Actually the best wedding I have been to was one which we were able to get a babysitter and then felt quite miffed about being put on a table with two couples and their 4 children- until we discovered we had the same amount of wine per table as tables that were adults only

I don't consider it rude but then again I'm the same as you and am not inviting children. I don't understand people who say 'children make a wedding'. They do not and you shouldn't feel you have to justify it. Your wedding should be how you want it to be. If people refuse to come because their children aren't invited then so be it.

Just going to jump on in here. My wedding is child free and that's in June this year. Neither of us have children (only 21,22 when wed and partner 29) but both have nieces and nephews and not even there coming. Some people may disagree but out of all our guests we only had 6 with children so didn't want to complete go against everything just for 6. If it was 20 then I would've otherwise I think people would've been dropping like flies. It's your day, if people can't respect that and honour your wishes then you've had a lucky escape of them being at your wedding day if you ask me. We also put a little rhyme on our invite about cash for prezzies. Something like;

'As we've lived together a year or two, we really don't need anything new,
If youd like to buy us a gift, some money towards our honeymoon wouldn't go a miss.'

Again some people may think it's rude, I'd much rather have £20 in a card than a shitty present that'll 95% end up in the bin anyway. I'm sure some smart arse will try and fob me off with something crappy. I wish I didn't like nice things but I can't help how I was brought up 😔 good luck for the big day whenever it may be!

Again some people may think it's rude, I'd much rather have £20 in a card than a shitty present that'll 95% end up in the bin anyway. I'm sure some smart arse will try and fob me off with something crappy. I wish I didn't like nice things but I can't help how I was brought up 😔 good luck for the big day whenever it may be!

You sound like a treat!

Kaytee it's my opinion and I'm entitled to it. I just say what most people think..thank fuck your not coming to my wedding because you sound like the type of person who would buy a shitty present just for the sake of it 🖕🏼

We are only having children if they are family. I don't want loads of kids at my wedding and neither does my fiancé.

I've no kids myself but both me and DFiance have families with stacks of kids (we're the late in life wedding despite the fact that only one of us is out of their 20s - different lifestyles ) Personally I couldn't dream of cutting the little ones from the big day - they're as much a part of the family as his racist great aunt (and nicer, and only marginally less bonkers!). I was always going to have a wedding with kids.

But... I've been to child free weddings. And they've been lovely in their own way.

What I do think ruins a wedding is bridezilla-ness. TBH in my experience bridezillas tend to go one of two ways - demand children attend so they can have the perfect photos or demand children don't attend so they can control it all. Saying your day is childfree doesn't make you a bridezilla at all - but i have experienced women wanting a childfree wedding so they can control every little detail (spoiler alert: children can't be stage managed 😂). I think that's where the negative stereotype comes from.

I went to a couple of weddings last year which were ruined by screaming babies during the vows - I couldn't hear the bride and groom! This is the main reason I don't want kids plus there are lots of ponds and it's not a suitable environment

I'm with you on that one Rioja. You only get one chance of doing it and saying those vows I have children in my family just like my oh does and we both agreed it's best for both parties to have no children. If people can't respect those wishes then they don't have to come simple as 👍🏼

Nope xlaura I always give a generous amount of cash as a wedding gift. I just think it's incredibly rude to ask for money and describe gifts in the way you have. There's no danger of me ever going to your wedding as I'm not friends with people that act like entitled dicks.

It wasn't about cash...and I'm not acting like a dick either. I already said most people will frown upon it but my friends and family know me and know the way I am. There's no right and wrong way of doing a wedding. Just like there's no right or wrong way of how you are as a person. I've been brought up to say it how it is and I have always had expensive taste, I can't help that. My point I was trying to make was I'd be happier with £10 put in a card as oppose to a present that was probably more but something that I don't like. Your so quick to judge you don't even think about looking at the bigger picture.

a shitty present that'll 95% end up in the bin anyway. I'm sure some smart arse will try and fob me off with something crappy.

Rude ^ no matter how you paint it.

I don't class that as being rude. I class that as being upfront. Like I said everybody in my family and friends know me so aren't offended. I suppose a complete stranger would find that rude but it's not meant to come across that way at all it's just the way I am. I can't help the way I've been brought up just like I can't help my taste in certain things. Like I've said before there's no right and wrong way of anything but I have my way and you have yours. Nothing more to it at all.

Ooh you are MN gold laura

Asking for money with a tacky poem always goes down well on here

Augusta god don't I know it 😂 wish I never said anything now because clearly the way I'm doing my wedding is completely wrong. The past 4 weddings I've been to they've requested money and I didn't see any harm in it. Nowadays the bride and groom have been living together and have everything so a little bit of cash to help go towards the honeymoon is always good. Traditionally you would buy gifts for their first home but my god, move with the times. Some people do it traditionally and some people do it the same way I do. But obvs I act like an 'entitled dick' which doesn't even make sense but hey what do I know?! 🤔 hahaha

xlaura. Do you want to rethink your statement: "Just like there's no right or wrong way of how you are as a person".

Really? Everyone can go around acting just how they want, with no regard for other people's feelings or rights? Lying, stealing, abuse...oh, it's ok, it's just how I am as a person...it's the way I was brought up....

Have a word with yourself! Try and learn about societal niceties and being polite to people..you'll probably go further in life.

Xlaura- you are hilarious. I think you need to take a little more responsibility for who you are.
Re children at weddings, I find it really sad that people would/do exclude them. Weddings are about families coming together- and that certainly includes the youngest members of those families! Not being allowed to take children to weddings would always exclude us from attending as we don't have on tap childcare. Fortunately we're of an age where our friends/family are all married already so unlikely to be an issue.

Fuck me why don't we all just jump on the band wagon?! 😂 Jesus Christ..is there not more important things going on in the world as oppose to whether I'm inviting children to my wedding or not? It really doesn't impact any of you - im the way I am and you are the way you are simple as. Me and my oh did have a long discussion about our wedding as a matter of fact and he was the one that suggested no children at our wedding which I was shocked about but each to their own. I wouldn't disrespect you and your choices so I think it's only fair if it's reciprocated. Nobody has to agree with our choice but it's our choice and that's the end of it. If you hadn't noticed this post wasn't actually about me I was merely responding to a question a fellow mn had asked.

Daily mail I'm doing pretty good in life thank you very much. I'm 21, have a stable job as a PA for a nationally known company, I take home £35k a year, I drive a 16 plate car (not on finance all bought and paid for), own 2 houses and I'm only 21. All of which me and my oh own not given down to us by family. My friends and family are great to me and never ever have I had a problem with them so maybe it's just you as a person not being on the same wave length. I've got my head screwed on and I'm pretty sure I'm doing okay in terms of going further in life.

Xlaura it has nothing to do with you inviting children to your wedding. Personally I've no issue with child free wedding, had hardly any children at my own wedding. The rudeness is your attitude to gifts. shitty Presents, fob you off... can you not see how rude that is? I also find asking for money (or any gifts) distasteful but it's the way you speak about people fobbing you off with shitty gifts that's awful. What if someone didn't give you a gift at all? It's not a requirement.

Daily mail I'm doing pretty good in life thank you very much. I'm 21, have a stable job as a PA for a nationally known company, I take home £35k a year, I drive a 16 plate car (not on finance all bought and paid for), own 2 houses and I'm only 21. All of which me and my oh own not given down to us by family.*

You realise none of this makes you a nice person?