When did people become so offended by evening invitations?

[AllTheDwarves]

Just interested to know when people started getting so bloody offended by evening invitations to weddings? I have a big family but am having a relatively small daytime (60 ish) as that is all we can afford. That 60 is close friends and family ONLY - 30 on each side. I have now had 6 evening invitation declines and later heard of comments to other family members along the lines of "not worth a day invite so not going to bother." Has anybody else had this? I can't get my head around it. I love an evening do

[TragicallyUnbeyachted]

CharlieSierra described guests at an evening party as " people like the groom's football mates who he wants to invite to the party but wouldn't be classed as close friends, or their colleagues, a few friends of the parents who've seen them grow up, that sort of thing".

I don't think anyone in those groups would dream of being offended by an evening invitation. It's people who think they are close friends of the bride/groom, or who are actually close family, who will find on getting an evening-only invitation that the happy couple don't think of them the same way.

The only case I can think of in my personal experience where someone was upset at an evening-only invitation fell into that category - there was a group of the groom's university friends and all but one were invited to the whole thing while that one was invited to evening only. It sent a pretty clear message of "we just don't like you as much as we like all the other people in the group". Not great for ongoing friendship dynamics.

[Glitteryfrog]

I think only guestzillas are offended by an evening invitation.
You can never make a guestzilla happy anyway.
Fine wine and lobster with a free hotel room for the night. They'd still complain.

[mustbetimeforacreamtea]

Like many people I'd had some dreadful experiences of being an evening guest so when it came to planning mine I put a lot of effort into my evening event. Most of the 100 evening guests travelled at least 2 hours (5 for some) and so were making a weekend of it. The invitation pack included details of a range of accommodation in the area, local attractions, contact numbers for taxis/tourist info etc. I put in the itinerary for the event so that they could see that the speeches, meal, cake cutting etc was happening in the evening. They were all asked to nominate a track for the dj (and did - it was a very eclectic play list!) and I laid on a bbq the following lunchtime so people could get something to eat before their journey and we had more time to get together.

I think the biggest thing was having the evening do in a completely separate venue with the parents waiting to welcome the guests as they arrived and we arrived last in our finery so it made more of an occasion of it than just the evening guests shuffling in at the back.

I think it all comes down to how included your guests feel in the event. We only had about 4 people decline the evening invites.

[SortItAhhht]

I wouldn't say i get offended. But if you're getting married in a country hotel in another part of the country, for example, and I'm expected to pay to get to the venue, for an outfit, your present and then an overnight stay just for the evening do...I'd probably decline.