My family didn't get me a present

[Kiki1984]

We got married earlier this year on our own but we told our families about it before. Nobody seemed to be upset or anything so it was fine. Then at the weekend just past we through a big party for family and friends to celebrate. We got dressed up again, had a buffet and loads of alcohol for our guests. Plus a professional photographer so it kind of was like another wedding day. I realised yesterday after we had gon through all our cards and gifts that nobody from my immediate family got me anything. My mum got me a card and present but nobody else. I'm beyond hurt and I spoke to one my sisters and none of them had been planning a big gift or anything to surprise me. I'll certainly get pity and guilt gifts now they know I'm upset. I've spoken to my friends about it and nobody has Ever heard anything like it! Do they not realise how much they have hurt me? :( has this happened to anyone else? All our friends in attendance got us cards and gifts and my husbands family not only paid for a surprise meal the actual day we eloped but they also gave us gifts at party too! I don't think I'll ever get over this :( just feel like nobody cares about me! Xx

But you didn't invite them to the wedding .

Your wedding was months ago why on earth would anyone get you a card or present now?

How old are you?

I had a big traditional wedding but I didn't expect presents etc. from brother and parents. I didn't expect presents from anyone but close family who are involved in the planning, doing little bits in support don't need to give a present as well. If you have a wedding and invite people as guests they will usually send a present if you decide not to have a wedding with people invited they will not. Unless you billed the party as instead of wedding invites I don't think you could reasonably expect cards and presents.

I'm guessing she's 31 Mythical!

Interesting first post by the OP. I walked right in. Bugger.

good grief, you must be really young. I hope you are, because you do sound like an immature and spoilt 12 year old!

You could be hurt if your family had ignored the party, but they came! It's lovely of them. Have you even thought how hurt your close ones must have been not to be invited at your wedding? Of course you do chose to marry the way you want, but for your nearest family it is very sad. I think about your parents here. I would never tell my own kids that, but I would be so so sad to miss their special day. Of course they didn't tell you, they didn't want to spoil your day, but try to think for a minute.

You are now throwing a tantrum because people didn't spend money on you. Too bad, if you wanted gifts, you should have sent them a list. I feel sorry for the family who has to deal with such a childish behaviour.

Aaaahhh, I didn't clock it was a first post. It all becomes clear.

Oh, Damn - I always fall for it!

Maybe it was a username change after the recent hacking problem.

Getting card does not show someone you care - I've given cards to plenty f people I don't give a shit about.
If this post is genuine get over yourself OP

LOL@ I've given cards to plenty of people I don't give a shit about.

This. Totally this!!

They did turn up and congratulate you. They do care. Perhaps some of them thought that - since they were present in person, and since it wasn't actually your wedding day - spending £3 on a bit of cardboard to say "congratulations on your wedding day" was a bit redundant.

You had a lovely party. The people you cared enough about to want them there did care enough about you to attend. Freaking out about not getting presents completely misses the point of the celebration, and you are allowing it to sour your view of the day. Let it go.

I think some of the replies have been a bit harsh.

Kiki it's not unreasonable to expect a small gift, my experience of these kind of parties is that most people do.

However you are overreacting somewhat. In the circumstances I'd shrug and make a note not to buy them anything in return. "never get over it" is rather strong

I hope you feel better soon.

You didn't invite them to your wedding so they probably didn't think about getting wedding cards and presents months later as , you know, you were already married. You need to get over it.
Ps. It's hardly 'eloping' if you tell everyone about it beforehand.

This. thread. is. brilliant.

I would be confused about what type of card to buy for that event. I would have brought a bottle of champagne or something though.

If you were my sibling I would have sent you a congrats card when you got married or when I heard you'd gotten married

very contradicting .

you say you didn't get any big surprise gift but then say your only talking about not having a card ?

and you will never get over this ?

oh dear ..

Oh my god everyone stop attacking OP.

This is the third " you are a bunch of meanies" thread I have seen tonight. By the third post the OP is shrieking baddies, evil MN you are all nasty and they were not even viperish replies either. I think there is something afoot

We had a big, traditional wedding with everyone in attendance and my parents/in laws didn't get us a card or present either. However, they helped to decorate the marquee, MIL did the flowers, they put people up, my mum paid for my dress, my dad paid for our honeymoon and they did all they could to make sure it flowed smoothly. Everything they could have written in a card they said to our faces on the wedding day instead.

Weddings are about spending time and sharing such a special occasion with those you love and care about.

Why after going through "all your cards and gifts" do you feel your family doesn't care about you OP? Did you throw a party just to receive presents? Is their company not enough?

You are putting a material value on your relationship with your siblings and close family - and that comes across as entitled and diva like.

This is the third " you are a bunch of meanies" thread I have seen tonight. By the third post the OP is shrieking baddies, evil MN you are all nasty and they were not even viperish replies either. I think there is something afoot

My thoughts exactly.