Invite dilemma

[Hedgehogging]

DP and I are having a really tiny wedding in January- immediate family only, which will mean 13 on DP's side (we're including his little nieces) and 6 on mine.

We're not invit?ng friends because, although I only have one best friend, DP has probably 5 that could be classed as his closest friends and that's just too many for what we have planned.

My BF is obviously very dear to me, all the more so because I have a very small circle of friends anyway. She's like a second sister.

DP has suggested that maybe she and her DH could quietly come to our ceremony and for a drink after but that we couldn't really ask them to the meal when it's so clearly family only.

I'd love to have them but my question is would it be awful to not then invite them for dinner? I know BF would be incredibly gracious about it if we did ask her under these terms, and they live near to where ceremony will be so not like they'd have to travel and then leave hungry! But would it be wrong/rude to extend such a conditional invite??

Opinions welcome!

I think of she was the only friend she would probably feel quite special anyhow!

If I was your friend I would hopefully! realise that being present when you get married is more important than being at a meal afterwards.

Ultimately though, do whatever makes you happy on the day. If you want to invite her to everything why don't you?

If anyone cannot respect your decision about who you have invited to your wedding, can they really call them self a friend?

If you were my friend I wouldn't be offended but who is going to be upset if she comes to the meal too?

She is like a sister to you. Dh has more family coming. Invite her to the whole thing

I would also invite her and OH to whole event. You said she is like a sister.

I would invite her to the whole thing. Your dp has twice as many people on his side anyway so it would be nice for you to have more of your "family" there.

I would nvite her to the whole event too, to even out the imbalance in your families.

I would invite her too. You've got uneven numbers and the fact she is not one of many friends suggests her level of friendship is much more akin to family, or what family should be.

And congratulations on your forthcoming wedding, I hope that your day is all you want it to be.

Yeah, I'd invite them both to the whole thing too. Who could object?

Invite her to the whole thing, if she's like a sister I assume she knows all your family well, she'll fit right in.

Either is fine, honestly!

I'd invite her to it all.

Invite who you want. It's your wedding.

Invite her to the whole thing. Ultimately, it is your wedding and anyone has a problem, 'stuff em!' :)

Thanks all! I'm definitely leaning more to the "sod it, invite them to the whole lot" side. I think my DP was maybe worried his family might be a bit "hmmm" about it but TBH I'm not sure they'd care, and even if they do I don't think they'd say anything so.... Right, time to present DP with the reasoning .

Just introduce her as your sister