Does it matter who 'Gives you away'?

[ZombiesAteYourCervix]

I have have just had a massive HUGE row with DH who dared to suggest that one day he will 'Give Away' our DDS.

HOW FUCKING DARE HE EVEN CONSIDER 'GIVING' MY DDs TO ANYONE??????

They are not his to give away.

NOBODY gave me away. NOBODY will give my Daughters away. If they choose to marry someone they can but they will absolutely NOT be GIVEN to anyone.

Raspberrytipple: what's the symbolism of the veil?

No-one gave me away - I walked in with DH. We had been living together for years anyway

Well apparently, I read somewhere when I looked at the different traditions that a veil was worn to make some butt ugly brides look a bit more amenable as they were put in front of their soon to be husbands as arranged marriages were not uncommon in the old days and many men had not seen their bride until they arrived in front of them, stopped them legging it. Although to be fair I could have worn a veil, DH had seen me at my very worst ie in the morning and was still happy to marry me! I just didn't like them particularly but nearly all wedding traditions come from something essentially pointless in this day and age - throwing confetti is pointless if the couple already has kids as it's supposed to blessing them with fertility for example. there was loads of stuff I looked up. Pointless, but people still like to do it, like being 'given' away.Bit like getting married full stop with the various laws to protect 'common law couples'. A wedding is pointless but we still do it

Thanks, I didn't know about the veil.

You are mistaken about the laws to protect common law couples though, there is no such thing in law.

I have always wondered about that actually. I don't really care, we got married so when we have children we all have the same name rather than for financial/whatever else security and it made me feel more like a grown up [hhmm]. I also know someone who nearly lost everything because they weren't married so the 'common law' thing never really washed. May want to take it up with the loose women clan though as marriage is no different to being a 'common law partner' so someone at lunch told me today as that is what they said on the show :) Ive just been on the Direct.gov website and they have confirmed that the loose women clan were indeed talking shite [hgrin]

elev8.com/elev8-original/faithfulforum/11-wedding-traditions-explaine/

www.bridallistings.com/wedding_traditions_explained.htm

[hgrin]

My dad walked me down the aisle - until I got a bit carried away when I saw DH and sort of dumped him mid-way

It is a stupid, outdated turn of phrase - unless you do actually feel as if you are being given from one man to another, in which case I guess you might feel angry or upset. I've never, ever felt as if I've belonged to anyone, let alone a man, so the whole walking down the aisle with my dad was just another part of the traditional day that DH and I had decided we wanted.

I hear you, but if my Dad hadn't given me away, he'd have been very upset. It meant a lot to him, and I couldn't hurt him. We didn't include the bit on who gives this woman to this man.

I should say Dad walked me down the aisle.

I also thought this might be a sensible thread about alternative options for those of us who no longer have a dad. I agree with other posters, it is always down to the bride whether or not they want to be "given away", not the parents.

I like to think I'm fairly feminist as women go, I was intentionally going to remove the part from the dialogue about being 'given away' as it's a sentiment I find quite distasteful. I was still going to have my dad walk me down the aisle though. Firstly I thought it would be a nice thing for him to do, but also (and perhaps mostly) I am a very shy and insecure person who hates being the centre of attention. I can think of nothing worse than walking down the aisle alone, all eyes on me - having my dad there would've in some ways felt like a distraction, or at least to allow me to feel as though all eyes were not on me anyway. Hopefully he could have also kept me balanced if I was so nervous I was shaking and accidentally tripped over nothing.

I was also going to have a veil. not because of the original meaning of the veil (whatever that is), but so I could feel as though I was a little more hidden from all those eyes. I never saw it as being 'given away'.

Now that my dad is gone though I am going to be walking down the aisle by myself, because nobody can take his place. I'll also be walking without a veil, since I can't bring myself to wear a wedding dress on the day (and therefore having a veil would seem pretty silly). Wish me luck! I'm sure if anyone's taking photos my face will be the colour of beetroot and I'll be looking very miserable indeed.

PS. Registry office here, it still counts as walking down an 'aisle' doesn't it?

Oh I actually can think of something worse, all those inevitable photos!