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Weddings

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Original poster

small intimate wedding

69 replies

raspberrytipple · 30/12/2010 19:15

Hello,

Just a bit of help if possible. DP and I have been engaged for 10 years and I have pushed over chrimbo for us to set a date. I have now got permission to book a date for late summer of 2011!!! Very excited!

We only want a very small intimate wedding so will go for Registry office on friday or saturday morning followed by afternoon tea at my folks house. We are going to keep it very low key and very quiet but I need advice, I dont actually now know what to do? Help!!!!

What do I need/should I book? We aren't going to be doing best men/bridesmaids etc or hen/stag so no worries there but I'm thinking I need at the very least:

Dress for me/suit for DP

Catering - I'm thinking of using somewhere like M&S party spreads as there will only be 70 max for afternoon tea.

Drink - mate has a discount card for a wholesalers as they are caters so cheap booze sorted!

Cake - DP mum makes so easy

What about a wedding car? The place we will get married fronts out on to a main street in the town and I dont want to have to run into a taxi in my dress? Any ideas how much they would cost?

Any advice/hints/tips to give from those who have had very small weddings? There would be max 40 people at the ceremony of immediate/close family and 5 of our very best friends. I am a little worried about politics and there are some friends I would love to be there but once you invite one person you have to invite others and it just explodes...... how have other people dealt with it?

Thank you in advance!!!! :)

OP posts:

Original poster

raspberrytipple · 09/01/2011 21:22

Not sure on music yet - we are meeting with the Registry office on Friday so I'll have a better idea after that of how it will work. My father is giving me away so would be nice to have some music playing while people get seated then for me to walk down the 'aisle' too. Readings - there are some nice ones on our local council website but is there anywhere else I could look for some? Not sure what to go for!

I was thinking nibbles for when we get back. I was going to do some mini quiches, olives, and nuts as you say, whatever takes my fancy when I go into the supermarket! My friend has a big wholesalers as they are caters so I can probably go in there and get loads of cheap stuff. Its only just to keep 40 people sorted until everyone else .

So, next question! Seating - we are hiring chairs/tables to seat the 40 people coming back after the ceremony. Aside from that there will be another 20 or so max coming from 5.30 onwards. There will be loads of seating on the lawn/summer house/separate marquee etc for people. We are not doing an official 'sit down' buffet type thing I'm thinking people will naturally disperse to some getting food/others talking/sitting around hte garden some in the marquee/playing games. Do you think I should make sure we have enough set tables in the marquee to seat everyone? We will have enough chairs around so if everyone does pile in we can just pull up some more chairs, they wont be matching but that doesn't really bother me!

This is turning into a very useful thread! Thanks for the advice so far - is very nice to have someone on the outset who I can ask questions! x

OP posts:

cat64 · 09/01/2011 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Tillyscoutsmum · 09/01/2011 21:36

Re: music - you can normally have one song to walk down the aisle to, 2-3 for when the register is being signed and 1 for walking back up the aisle together. You can then have some music playing for the 20 mins or so before the cermony whilst people are being seated. Picking the music was one of my favourite bits (and the one which DH was the most interested in ). If you google wedding readings, there should be loads online. There can't be any mention of God/religion in them.

Assuming its a cold buffet, I wouldn't worry about having enough tables/chairs to seat everyone at the same time. As you say, people will be milling about etc. and not all eating at the same time.

Original poster

raspberrytipple · 09/01/2011 22:29

Thanks cat good idea re the cleaner but my mum just wouldn't, she's the sort of person who would clean the house in preparation for the cleaner to turn up! We will be there the two days before and a day after the wedding so DH(!!! hehe....) and I will be able to get stuck in.

DP is going to spend a lot of time from spring onwards helping dad get the garden ready with his little bro who works like a trouper for £20! They have an outside loo and one just inside the doorway of the kitchen so that should be fine. We are having balloons as decorations rather than flowers, will be just my bouquet flower wise. Invitations I am going to do with MIL to be as she is very creative so will do them beautifully.

Parking should be fine, they have a big drive, parking opposite and private land within the grounds of the school next door (don't ask - its a very weird situation! The land is used daily by the school but it belongs to my dad). so plenty of parking..... easily enough room inside if we get desperate.

Thanks for info on the music tilly, wasnt really sure what to expect so can have a think about it now. We quite liked Biffy Clyros 'Mountains' but it might give some of the oldies a heart attack!!

Ill do a google for readings, there is one I saw about two trees becoming intertwined and creating one which I thought was sweet but DP said it was too airy fairy for his liking.

Tis a cold buffet so I think the seating should hopefully be fine. I think I'm almost there with getting the big things sorted so can start to relax now and just enjoy the months leading up to it!

OP posts:

melodyangel · 10/01/2011 12:42

Congratulations Raspberry!

I know how you feel about all this wedding stuff, DP and I are getting married this year, hopefully, and I am like a big bowl of jelly about the whole thing!

Love your wedding plans sounds beautiful!

I seem to be in wedding overload at the moment does this phase pass after a few days? I really hope so otherwise I think my head may explode!

Original poster

raspberrytipple · 10/01/2011 13:09

Hi Melodyangel,
I am also in wedding overload but mine is just starting to pass so I'm sure yours will too! When are you getting married?

OP posts:

melodyangel · 10/01/2011 13:23

Not sure yet need to talk to venues. I was hoping June but might have to be September. Can't have July or August as my best friend is expecting and is due very late July.

We started talking about getting married last year then yesterday he proposed, I was covered in mud and harvesting parsnips!

Tillyscoutsmum · 10/01/2011 14:14

Congrats melodyangel

Original poster

raspberrytipple · 10/01/2011 17:04

Haha, excellent proposal!!! That's wonderful xx

OP posts:

melodyangel · 10/01/2011 20:40

He's an odd fella!

How's all your wedding plans going Raspberry?

Original poster

raspberrytipple · 10/01/2011 21:24

Not too badly, cake, dress food and venue are all pretty much decided. All exciting but am a little scared at the thought of standing up in front of 40 people saying our vows. Was trying to imagine today what sort of jitters Kate Middleton must be getting! Can you imagine!!! I'd be a mess. Don't think she'd get away with sending invitations to immediate family only like us :)

OP posts:

melodyangel · 10/01/2011 21:53

Oh god what if she wanted to change her mind!!!! I'm a day in and have the jitters. Can't imagine what it must be like to have a wedding so important everyone gets a day off for it!

Sounds like you've been very busy. I think we have decided on the venue just need to see if it's available and we can afford it! We were thinking of using a local garden but without toilets and no access to power we thought it might be just too much to organise and still have a fun day!

I don't dare even think about the vows, I won't even be able to get up the aisle without crying!

Haven't told anyone in RL yet not even the kids. I think the words about time too may be uttered once or twice!

Are you enjoying the planning?

Original poster

raspberrytipple · 10/01/2011 22:09

We've had a lot of 'about time' comments, after a 10 yr engagement they're probably right. I'm kind of enjoying it, it's just a lot to think about but we've got ages yet. Trying to keep numbers as low as possible but is creeping up slowly. People are right when they say it grows. I'm sure you will love it when u get into it. Dress trying is proper fun :)

OP posts:

melodyangel · 11/01/2011 14:52

Ooo have you chosen your dress yet?

Original poster

raspberrytipple · 11/01/2011 17:02

I think I have. Going to another shop on Saturday but I think I am already in love

OP posts:

melodyangel · 11/01/2011 18:07

Pics if possible... Please

Original poster

raspberrytipple · 11/01/2011 20:53

No can do yet, am on my phone so can't link. Will do soon though!!

OP posts:

melodyangel · 11/01/2011 21:07

Not sure I shall get a new dress but I may go and have a look. Do you think they would be odd about me taking DP?

Original poster

raspberrytipple · 11/01/2011 22:32

Well, I suppose it's not the traditional thing to do but it's your wedding, your dress so I'm sure they won't not let you? Go and try some on just for the fun of it. Most dresses are out of my price range and fwiw I think they are mostly overhyped. Someone said to me' the other day that it really wouldn't matter what you wore because brides are always the most beautiful person there on the day :)

If you want to take dp then take. I'll probably have shown mine my dress before the day, I doubt he'll be that bothered though, wedding dresses aren't as interesting as bikes or r. Helicopters :)

OP posts:

melodyangel · 13/01/2011 19:16

Someone said to me' the other day that it really wouldn't matter what you wore because brides are always the most beautiful person there on the day - Bless.

Not sure my DP is all that fussed although he seems to have taken it upon himself to chose the lingerie!

How your planning going? We have had a rethink as the venue was over £4k. whole budget is only £2k at the very very most!

Original poster

raspberrytipple · 13/01/2011 20:15

My planning has calmed down now. I am suddenly having jitters about my dress though. I've now bought the one I fell in love with and am in love with it, but I kind of feel like 'what if I don't love it by the time we get to the wedding'? It's weird, I suppose you wouldn't normally buy something so far in advance? Saying that I've spoken to a few people now who bought the first dress they tried on and didn't even try any others!

I think I just feel a bit overwhelmed by it all. Was seriously tempted to just cancel the 'wedding' plans the other day and just go off with DP and do it on our own you know. It's such a faff. Our budget is only around £3k max but we are having a reception at my parents and are doing our own disco/not having sit down meal/no photographer, none of which I'm particularly worried about to be honest but even without all of that to organise it still feels a bit of a pain in the arse.

To be honest I know why I'm on such a downer today. DP and I got engaged 10 years ago. He bought me a really pretty white gold 9ct ring with 4 little diamonds in it. Well I loved it for 3 years but then we kind of decided never to get married, then about a year later I lost it for 6 months at least and eventually found it in the draw where I keep my knickers!! so..... I started wearing it again but one day when I was filing at work I noticed that one of the claws had been damaged and I'd lost a stone. It wasn't an expensive ring but I was still a bit upset but put it in the jewellery box and left it. Anyhow, as we are now getting married I thought I'd get it fixed but it turns out that it will cost over £250 to get it mended and I just think that is too much, I may as well get a new ring but I just don't want to spend the money, I want my ring. DP doesn't want to spend £250 on it, he's stressing about money as it is. so, all in all I just feel a bit flat about it really. That disappointment coupled with being fed up with this weather (my SAD has kicked in big time this week) and horrendous PMT have made me a right miserable bugger today!!! Sorry for the epic post but I feel much better now I've got it off my chest!!!!

OP posts:

melodyangel · 13/01/2011 22:16

I'm on a mega downer too, just can't be arsed today.

melodyangel · 13/01/2011 22:24

Sending you very sunny rays of sunshine Raspberry!

Original poster

raspberrytipple · 14/01/2011 07:18

Thankyou melody! Today is another day and will be much better I'm sure-will let you know how I get on at the registry office :)

OP posts:

CarmenSales · 14/01/2011 07:25

Weddings r stressful
Good luck at the register

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