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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

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Original poster

It was soo hard not to say something to these parents

91 replies

MamaMaiasaura · 11/01/2009 22:01

I was sat in John Lewis yesterday having lunch with dp and ds2 (1). Ds was having food from his snack box (cucmber, tomatoes, babybel, kiwi fruit, raisins eetc) and also had some food off our plates which was lasagne from me and gammon and roast veg from dp. Anyway, he is feeding himself making the delightful mess they make (joys of blw ) and this immaculate women walked past, paused and looked at ds and looked completely horrified/disgusted.

SHe then got her baby out of pram (all dressed in white so that it glowed) and her dp held baby as was too tiny to fit in highchair and wasnt looking like it could sit. She then puts bib etc on baby and starts spooning this purree (really thick looking) into babies mouth. Well try but poor baby is screaming. She keeps going whenever baby opens mouth to cry. Baby stops opening mouth so she is trying to prise food into babies mouth. THis went on for half an hour, i kid you not. It was awful. Baby clearly not wanting food beside not being able to sit and didnt even look 4 months. This baby was distraught unitl she stopped trying. Bear in mind baby was happy before she tried to feed. She then got out LOADS of wipes and filled a nappy sack when baby wasn't exactly a mess and looked completely disgusted holding bag extremely gingerly.

I so wanted to ask how old babyh was, say about who guidelines and be all evangelical about BLW which has been so fantastic. But even those who do go the puree route, surely you dont try and force baby to eat?? My dp was facing her and he was really staring rude perhaps but he just couldnt get over that they were doing that.

I know i am probably being a cow to sound it out here but i just was so shocked as not ever been there with dc and if they didnt want something i certainly didnt force it, and at such a young age.

OP posts:

Lilyloo · 12/01/2009 21:28

I am sure any parent who sees a baby being fed ANYTHING to the point of distress and this going on for a significant period of time would have felt upset about the whole thing surely!!!!

JustKeepSwimming · 12/01/2009 21:54

Would have felt the same Awen
for the baby

But maybe as someone said they went home, thought, that wasn't fun for anyone, let's do it differently next time.....

I saw a mum crawling around after her under-1 year old trying to feed him a yoghurt...he blatantly did NOT want it...mad woman

bubbleymummy · 12/01/2009 22:11

I would have felt the same too Awen. I hate seeing children being force fed. When I was at a friend's house I watched another mum feeding her 14 week old baby rice. He couldn't sit up, he hadn't lost his gag reflex so everything kept coming out and it was just spooned up and shoved back in. At the same time she is telling us that he's suddenly gotten excema quite badly all over his face...I found it very upsetting but said nothing either. I don't really understand why people choose not to follow the recommended guidelines tbh...

LuckySalem · 12/01/2009 22:15

bubbly - if its a friend you should say something. I always tell my friends what i'm thinking. Its either used or ignored but it never breaks our friendship.

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 12/01/2009 22:19

thanks sleepy need to update them, they grow up fast

at how i list what he was eating. Was trying to get across that his tray was loaded with food and it was EVERYWHERE wasnt trying to list all the food he eats though can see it might have come across like that, sorry... shall i list what he eats he ate banana skin and also was too impatient on unwrapping babybel so he ate wax too lol

Mamadiva - i am not ignorant or a moron but perhaps i can be a bit of a cow (thanks marla ) but thanks for input.

ginatkatestacks - i think i am quite intolerant too, it isnt that i think i do it all best it is just that i am so glad for the benefit of experience and for advice i actually got from here that i want to 'spread the word'. I have to bite my tongue soo much. Over breastfeeding as well when i hear mums who are saying well baby wont sleep through so must switch to bottle.. who says baby must sleep through? (awen should bite tongue again i think)

OP posts:

bubbleymummy · 12/01/2009 22:19

She was a friend of a friend - I didn't really know her that well. It actually may have been the first time I met her!

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 12/01/2009 22:20

bubbly it is hard isnt it.

OP posts:

LuckySalem · 12/01/2009 22:21

ahh - then thats different. People you dont know it is always better to bite your tongue.

Unless its a situation where you really should be telling someone in authority.

ThingOne · 12/01/2009 22:42

I hate seeing people force feed babies or children. It happens often. I've seen it often. I can't, for the life of me, understand why people think it is acceptable, normal behaviour. Obviously there will sometimes be special circumstances but that can't account for the huge number of times I've seen it and it counts for none of the people I know who do it.

However you wean your baby you don't need to force it to eat. I find it really upsetting when people force food into babies and children who are turning their heads away and crying.

The same people (in my real life) then complain over the next year or so that mealtimes are really stressful and they have problems. No shit, Sherlock!

coochicoo · 13/01/2009 08:51

It's not just babies though. I don't like it when children are made to finish everything on their plates. Surely you should teach children to eat until they're full, rather than having the expectation of finishing everything on the plate?

coochicoo · 13/01/2009 08:54

And btw Awen, I think it was the listing of all the food your ds ate that riled people! I read it and thought 'ooh, get you with your perfect fruit and veg eating son!' but completely agreed with you wrt the way the other baby was being fed.

pudding25 · 13/01/2009 09:46

Not read the whole post but I started weaning at 25 wks onto purees and after a couple of wks, introduced some finger foods. Of course I have never forced DD to eat . If she doesn't want anymore, she used to shut her mouth and I stopped. Now, at 8mths, she pushes me away. If she is hungry, she will eat.

2pt4kids · 13/01/2009 09:51

My DS cries when he's hungry and I quick put a spoonful of food in his mouth and after 2 or 3 mouthfuls he is not as starving any more and gobbles up the rest with a smile on his face as its filling him up!
Maybe the baby was crying cos he was hungry to start with?

pudding25 · 13/01/2009 09:59

OP although I agree with you that it is horrible to see a baby force fed, I do take offence to the fact that you seem to think that if a baby is puree fed, that means that they will be force fed.

nailpolish · 13/01/2009 09:59

the OP is very mean
you should be very embarrassed about that

listing your babies food in his snack box -ffs!

if you had decided to speak to the woman - what would you have said? id love to know

laneygirl · 15/01/2009 17:25

I've been weaning my 5 month old for a few weeks now and have had know problems.That was untill last night,she was crying when I tryed to feed her.To start with I thought she was uncomfortale in her high chair,I checked that she was sitting ok.Anyway I decided to try the fruit puree,to make sure she was'nt off all the puree.She started to eat it,so she just didn't like the veg one.so what I did was to mix them both together,she ate the whole lot

sarah293 · 15/01/2009 17:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 15/01/2009 21:39

nailpolish - for ffs read the whole thread. LIsted it to higlight that he had a load of food on his tray and it was havoc and messy.

OP posts:

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 15/01/2009 21:41

and goes for you riven.
I wasnt going on about puree being evil and my food being perfect. Was trying to set the scene.

Reading the NMC times today a nurse was struck off for partly force feeding dementia patients.. ok for poele to force feed babies then?

OP posts:

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 15/01/2009 21:54

and nailpolish i am not either for thinking it is wrong to force feed.

OP posts:

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 15/01/2009 22:01

Force feeding a baby is wrong and not something I have done with a small baby. But has probably been done a few times with dd1 . And before you judge do you know how difficult/worrying it is to have a child who will not eat? Who is massively underweight? Will not take milk in sufficent amounts?

Obv if the baby was so young that she shouldn't have been weaned in the first place then judge away but be aware that you may not know all of the circumstances.

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 15/01/2009 22:17

Well i did judge. So shoot me. We all make judgements, that is how me make decisions and make sense of the world.

OP posts:

hazeyjane · 15/01/2009 22:23

Dd1 was weaned early (on paediatricians advice), with purees, and was pretty small, (and my god, I think I might have dressed her in white sometimes!) so I guess you would have sat and judged me too. You probably would have seen me feeding her from a bottle facing me in her pushchair too and tutted (under your breath, of course). The thing is, you don't know the woman or the baby or their circumstances, so I think you are being a bit judgemnental.

But hey, this is Mumsnet, so it's not a big deal.

But I agree with you when you say you are being a bit of a cow, because the tone of your post is sooo smug. Also, why are you bothered about about how many wipes she used and and how she held the nappy bag, that's just wierd!

Pannacotta · 15/01/2009 22:27

Have also seen this happen (with a much older baby but he was still very unhappy) and I found it really awful to watch.
Never good to see a baby (or any living creature come to that) being force fed...

sarah293 · 16/01/2009 08:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

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