6 month old screams and whinges when eating veg purees

[Puddings2108]

Hi everyone,

This is going to be a long, sorry! 🙏

I am a FTM to a gorgeous 6 month old baby boy ❤️. Since the age of 3 months he has been mouthing toys, blankets, muslins, teddy bears, etc, from about 4 months he started showing interesting in food and this piqued around 5 months so around 5.5 months we decised to give him bits of what we are eating. So just biys of veg, mushed between our fingers etc and he seemed to love it and get excited for more.

This week he turned 6 months so from Monday just gone, i started his official weaning journey. I want to limit the amount of salt and sugar (was horrified 😧 after the BBC documentary on baby food jars/pouches) he has so have decided to go down the route of making my own purees and finger foods without any added salt or sugar and just seasonings, so a mix of purees and BLW.

I made him a mix of veg purees, so things like sweet potato and cauliflower, carrot and broccoli, and fruit puree like strawberry and banana. We generally give fruit puree with plain yogurt and porridge for breakfast and the veg puree with finger food for lunch and dinner.

So from this point is where it all seems to have gone to pot 😔 basically he loves his breakfast, the sweet fruit purees and he gobbles that up without any drama! But lunch and dinner, progressively over the week as become really stressful 😪 he starts whining the minute he gets into his highchair and from then on he will taste the first spoon and immediately close his mouth and start whining and moaning, so i give him the finger food and it will distract him for a few minutes during which he will probably have a few spoons of the puree but make faces at it. I try to give him his spoon so he can feed himself and again he will have one or two spoons and refuse to hold the spoon anymore, same with the finger foods refuses to hold them after a few tries.

At this point he will progressively start to scream, not crying screaming but actually screaming, like angry screaming! He seems angry, frustrated and grizzly, which is very unlike him. So i stop the meal and clean him up and immediately he is fine. And he will again reach for food when we are eating or if i randomly offer him something, he will gum on it and even eat bits of mashed up food if i offer it impromptu. When i assess how much he has had at his meal times it actually is probably a tablespoon or even 2 but I am worried i am giving him negative associations with food as he just doesn't seem happy and i would like lunch and dinner not to end in tears like breakfast, it is very stressful and makes me feel like a terrible mother, equally i think if i didn't try the distractions then he wouldn't try anything at all, and that's all i want, for hin to try things and not necessarily eat.

So after a week i just don't know what to do 😩 i have been scouring the forums and have seen similar stories and it seems perseverence is key and that it is normal for them to do these things as solids is a new experience but the thought of mealtimes for him ending in tears for another few weeks doesn't sit right with me and it will stress me out.

My husband just tells me to chill 🙄 and that he will get there eventually (his mottoe for everything!), which just annoys me as i am the one doing the feeding with the baby as if I let my husband do it, well we just wouldn't get anywhere 😒

I keep thinking i am going about it all wrong, should i have done single veg instead of a combo? but i read variety of flavours is better so they are not picky later. Should i not add seasonings, again i thought this was better? should i mix fruit with the veg, but is that giving in to his sweet tooth? Should i mix his formula with the puree, but again is that just sweetening it up???

Please help! All mums out there please give me your wisdom and share your weaning stories.

Thank you so much if you amde it to the bottom of my post 😊

P.S. i have a mil that lives with us who is constantly on my back because i don't want to laod my baby up on sugar and salt. She wants to feed him spicy food, sweet exotic fruit, even tea! 🤯

He doesn't sound like he likes purees or being fed.

Just let him eat what you eat, you might have to cut sugar and salt for a bit but use plenty of herbs, spices, oils etc. He doesn't need to just have veg and fruit, he should be eating exactly what you are and you should all be eating a healthy varied diet.

Cook, serve, eat with him, let him see you eat, take food away when done, thats it. No force feeding, no well dones, just having food together.

Are you sitting him in a highchair for his own meal or are you sitting around a table and he is joining in with your meal? From my very limited experience of two children, everything weaning is just much more relaxed if you are relaxed. Ear your meals as a family, let them join in, try bits of your food, try the food you have made them, let them make a bit of a mess. I swear they can feel the pressure and expectation from you and it puts them off!

My DS preferred sweet purees. 🍎
Totally normal, also breast milk and formula are a bit sweet, so it didn't surprise me. 🤔
I got our child to eat savoury things by taking the pressure off at meal times and instead he would want to 'share' and try mummys plate of food.
I would have to give myself extra, or else he would gobble my food up lol. 😆
He still likes to try my food now at age 6 especially if we're in a restaurant etc 😇

Edited to add, we mostly did baby led weaning. He ate what we ate and could make a mess and have fun.
Ours also loved the fruit feeder dummy and would try foods in that 🍓
It will all work out, I would just go at baby's pace. 💕
@Puddings2108

I would often mash bits of our food into a bowl with some veg too. So a little bit of our macaroni cheese mixed with mashed squash or a tiny bit of beef stew with broccoli, the stew made with less salt and we'd season it more on our plates.

My dd refused a spoon point blank so we were forced into blw and she refused to even try anything until 14 months old. It clicked and by 16 months she was eating well. Just keep offering. Try and avoid the sweet purees as obviously they will be preferred and alter their palette.

My mantra was food before 1 is just for fun. Nutritionally milk is pretty much all they need. At 6 months food is more about exploring, developing hand eye coordination, learning how to chew/mash, learning what is edible. Take the pressure off yourself and him. Put things near him and let him explore, eventually he will eat.

Babies generally know how much they need to eat, they get full quickly. My baby starts spitting out food or dropping food on the floor when she is full at which point we just take the plate away.

As they get older they get pickier and may need to be exposed to the same food 15-18 times before eating it. This is normal and is evolutionary to stop them poisoning themselves.

Just remember that any positive interaction with food is a win - even if they touch it to put it somewhere that isn't their plate

Your 6 month old won't starve from not eating solids, your husband is right to say you just need to chill!

Stop with the purées and give him soft finger food. He doesn’t need to be actually eating much at this point, right now he just needs to be exploring tastes and textures, so let him.

It's normal for them to prefer sweet stuff. Milk is fairly sweet, and that's what they're used to. I think you can still do purees and finger food, but I'd just put it directly onto his high chair tray and let him dig in with his hands/give him a spoon. He'll make a mess but get some of the long sleeve aprons for painting and put one of them on him when he eats. Annoyingly, you're husband is right. Chill. He's 6 months old and just starting out. He'll go through phases of eating well and then not so well. It isn't a linear journey. And no matter what you do, at some stage he will go through a picky eating phase. Don't think you can stop this. All you can do is just consistently offer them a good variety of food.

He’s only 6 months old, I wouldn’t worry about this at all. A friend told me that the purée stage is so so brief that it’s funny how much we worry about it, and she was right! It only lasted about 2 months for me and now DD only wants to eat food she can pick up!

If I were you I would massively relax - at 6 months it’s all about first tastes to ensure no allergies. This book is a great resource for weaning and explaining it all Annabel Karmel’s complete baby and toddler meal planner

Just put down a floret of steamed brocolli, or a baton of cucumber and let your son explore textures and shapes at his own pace. You won’t be needing to feed purées for very long so don’t get yourself worked up if he doesn’t like it.

Another trick I used is to give them a spoon to hold and you keep one spoon to feed them at the same time.

Thank you all for your messages so far, it feels like a load off already just talking it out, my husband is a great dad but just not into these things and i have to lead and my mil raised her children 30 years ago in questionable ways but i digress!

@dairydebris my first thought when thinking about weaning him was to do BLW and just make him a baby friendly version of what we are having, so separate abit of food before adding salt, sugar, chilli etc. I love cooking and i eat very healthily and trying to convert my husband and he is doing well so it shouldn't be a problem giving him ehat we eat But then my sil scared me into going down the puree route. He is a veey independant baby and doesn't seem to like the spoon and prefers me to feed him with my hand, but the problem now is he doesnt seem to want to do much of that at mealtimes anymore 🫤 i am trying to get him back on track with it and it is hit and miss, but will keep trying!

@Blarn i sit him in his highchair and he eats before us and i know we should really just get him to join our meals but i can't seem to time it right with naps and his bottles but will defo work it out as i do agree it will make a difference.

@Littlejellyuk thank you for that, realky needed some solidarity! Will defo try to chill and take my husbands advice, maybe he is right for once! 🤣

@Barrellturn i hope it clicks for my baby too. His dads family are not adventurous eaters, very picky and do have issues around food, so this has really worried me and i guess i am pressuring myself and the baby due to the fear he may become like that. My husband has a nephew who will only eat a certain jarred baby food mixed in with petit filous yogurt at the age of 2!

Everything is a phase. Don’t overthink it, it’s new for him too. I did start with single flavours veg, maybe try that and try sweeter veg like pumpkin or sweet potato. You can also mix a bit of apple w carrot just don’t rely on soley fruit purees. As others sajd, try and see if he might enjoy chewing on bits of softly steamed veg more. My second DC was very lazy and wanted spoon fed purees for ages 😅
you can also try a bit of soft avocado or bits of banana. Have you got the squeeze feeder? He can chew on that and you can add veggies or a banana.

I really liked the Annabel Karmel weaning book, lots of recipes of purees and ideas of “menus” and mixing things up.

what seasoning are you adding btw? Did you try the purees?

The running theme here seems to be that I need to chill! I hear you!! I guess i just needed to hear from others, like i said in the previous post, there is alot of people with food issues around me that i guess i let that fear get the better of me.

I think i will stick to the puree plus BLW route as i can see already the puree phase won't last long with him as @Bloodyscarymary said, he prefers to chomp down on harder food.

Since his behaviour at mealtimes I am offering more finger foods and he has a play with it and does eat some of it, i think the key is for him to eat with us so he doesn't feel like he is force fed!

I have the long bibs @Pidgeypidge and all that jazz and i really don't mind him getting messy at all as long as he tries things and is happy to do so.

With my eldest, I tried to do a mix of purées and finger foods. He would never let a spoon cross his lips, so I eventually gave up on the purées and did accidental BLW. For the first month or so he just got bits of steamed veg or avocado and would mainly play with them or lob them on the floor. I remember feeling quite anxious about it all, as it sounds like you are now, but he figured out eating eventually and is now 4yo and eats anything.

Based on this experience, my 2yo and 8mo were never even offered purées as I couldn’t be bothered with the faff. I started them out with just bits of veg, occasionally some fruit, and then added in what we are all eating (I don’t bother adding salt to family recipes to make it more child-friendly - husband and I can add at the end if we want). 2yo also eats anything.

I would try and relax about how much he’s eating, though I remember that this is easier said than done! Just offer food at mealtimes and then step back and let him eat it or reject it. I’d probably also cut back on the fruit purées for now as liquid sweet stuff is always going to be preferable to a challenging chunk of cauliflower! Not sure if there’s any science behind it, but I only start giving fruit when they are already happy with a load of veg.

I was thinking of getting him the squeeze feeder @SchoolDilemma17 but then read that its not recommended and wasn't sure if I should. Spices i have tried is garlic powder, onion powder, coriander, mint, cinnamon, nutmeg etc just like sprinkles and i tried the purees and it honestly didn't taste bad at all, similar to the food we eat minus the salt and what we feed him off our plates thata why i am so confused why he doesn't like it....

@Recepmum honestly i keep telling myself food under one is for fun and not be bothered about how much puree is left on his bowl but i still feel deflated when i see he hasn't finished it.

I think i should have listened to my gut and just gone with BLW and inckuded him in our mealtimes.

Baby palettes aren't like an adults, he might just prefer simple stuff. I also would recommend nothing sweet for the first few months so he gets used to bitter/green veg tastes - I held off on anything sweeter than sweet potato and carrot for the first few months and baby was a good eater (although has now hit fussy toddlerhood which is a whole new adventure!)

Gosh honestly these are strong flavours. Just give veg purees to start with - that’s enough. Remember he is just getting used to food. Everything is new and start slowly with the basic flavours. I never added any seasoning to the purees.

You need to manage your expectations. A 6 months old won’t finish a big portion, he might eat a few spoonsfuls max…
also try and not go so crazy on the flavours, start simple and do one or two veg at a time or soft bits to chew on.

Hi there @Puddings2108
All my four babies preferred sweet food to start with - almost all babies do.

I'd go down the BLW route if I were you. It sounds like that's what your baby prefers.

Don't worry about the nap timings and having meals together. Everything changes all the time with babies and he'll be the same.

Don't worry about nutrition too much at this stage. He's only six months old and still having lots of milk.

You're doing fine! But yes, do chill a wee bit.

@SchoolDilemma17 omg the health visitor recommended we add seasoninhs to stop him being a picky eater! Until then i was just going to give him plain veg, plain food, whatever it is until he was much older.

Food issues tend to have little to do with weaning, and lots of babies aren’t bothered about food to start with anyway. Your baby sounds totally normal. There is however a high correlation between ARFID and certain neurodivergent conditions (does this explain your dad’s family?).

@ProfessorRizz it's my husbands family that struggle with food issues and a few of them do have neurodivergent conditions. In addition to this, listening to my mil and my sil's weaning journeys with their babies, as admitted by themselves, they believe they didn't take the right approach and doing things differently could have improved the outcome but i guess hindsight and all that!

I think i will start afresh with him tomorrow, just plain simple food, more finger foods, things he can get stuck into and enjoy a meal as a family so he can watch and learn.

Thanks everyone, amazing advice!

I don't believe that is true.
I have an adult son with ARFID.

He was offered the same foods as my other children but at the age of two, he seemed to go on a food strike.

He lives on HUEL now and is very healthy.
(He does like chips as well 🤣)