6 month old screams and whinges when eating veg purees

[Puddings2108]

Hi everyone,

This is going to be a long, sorry! 🙏

I am a FTM to a gorgeous 6 month old baby boy ❤️. Since the age of 3 months he has been mouthing toys, blankets, muslins, teddy bears, etc, from about 4 months he started showing interesting in food and this piqued around 5 months so around 5.5 months we decised to give him bits of what we are eating. So just biys of veg, mushed between our fingers etc and he seemed to love it and get excited for more.

This week he turned 6 months so from Monday just gone, i started his official weaning journey. I want to limit the amount of salt and sugar (was horrified 😧 after the BBC documentary on baby food jars/pouches) he has so have decided to go down the route of making my own purees and finger foods without any added salt or sugar and just seasonings, so a mix of purees and BLW.

I made him a mix of veg purees, so things like sweet potato and cauliflower, carrot and broccoli, and fruit puree like strawberry and banana. We generally give fruit puree with plain yogurt and porridge for breakfast and the veg puree with finger food for lunch and dinner.

So from this point is where it all seems to have gone to pot 😔 basically he loves his breakfast, the sweet fruit purees and he gobbles that up without any drama! But lunch and dinner, progressively over the week as become really stressful 😪 he starts whining the minute he gets into his highchair and from then on he will taste the first spoon and immediately close his mouth and start whining and moaning, so i give him the finger food and it will distract him for a few minutes during which he will probably have a few spoons of the puree but make faces at it. I try to give him his spoon so he can feed himself and again he will have one or two spoons and refuse to hold the spoon anymore, same with the finger foods refuses to hold them after a few tries.

At this point he will progressively start to scream, not crying screaming but actually screaming, like angry screaming! He seems angry, frustrated and grizzly, which is very unlike him. So i stop the meal and clean him up and immediately he is fine. And he will again reach for food when we are eating or if i randomly offer him something, he will gum on it and even eat bits of mashed up food if i offer it impromptu. When i assess how much he has had at his meal times it actually is probably a tablespoon or even 2 but I am worried i am giving him negative associations with food as he just doesn't seem happy and i would like lunch and dinner not to end in tears like breakfast, it is very stressful and makes me feel like a terrible mother, equally i think if i didn't try the distractions then he wouldn't try anything at all, and that's all i want, for hin to try things and not necessarily eat.

So after a week i just don't know what to do 😩 i have been scouring the forums and have seen similar stories and it seems perseverence is key and that it is normal for them to do these things as solids is a new experience but the thought of mealtimes for him ending in tears for another few weeks doesn't sit right with me and it will stress me out.

My husband just tells me to chill 🙄 and that he will get there eventually (his mottoe for everything!), which just annoys me as i am the one doing the feeding with the baby as if I let my husband do it, well we just wouldn't get anywhere 😒

I keep thinking i am going about it all wrong, should i have done single veg instead of a combo? but i read variety of flavours is better so they are not picky later. Should i not add seasonings, again i thought this was better? should i mix fruit with the veg, but is that giving in to his sweet tooth? Should i mix his formula with the puree, but again is that just sweetening it up???

Please help! All mums out there please give me your wisdom and share your weaning stories.

Thank you so much if you amde it to the bottom of my post 😊

P.S. i have a mil that lives with us who is constantly on my back because i don't want to laod my baby up on sugar and salt. She wants to feed him spicy food, sweet exotic fruit, even tea! 🤯

Second this. DD2 is a brilliant eater and we’ve done this since she turned 6 months, it sounds like the situation is becoming stressful for both of you so I would go with PPs advice.

ETA - just seen some of your updates. Reference timing it right, at this age them just trying food is the aim so don’t pressure yourself into set meal times. Let him eat whenever you all eat, snacks as well. Share food with him and enjoy it! We did some puree with DD1 but DD2 thrived on feeding herself so we let her lead it and now at 13m it appears BLW has been waaaay more successful than our previous journey. Baby will get all their nutrition from milk up until 1 so all the food is a bonus!

@TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne il share that with my sil's 😊 i guess weaning is just like the rest of the things that are part and parcel of raising a child, you just got to do your best.

@Btowngirl thank you for that, i would love to feed him as and when with us, and it would be so much less stressful. The first 2 weeks when we loosely startes giving him food, thats what we did and he was so receptive! So it just broke my heart to see him upset at meal times.

Going against what other people have said, I don’t see anything wrong with giving a young baby seasoned food. What you’ve mentioned sounds normal to me. I started weaning my eight month old at 6 months exactly and after the first couple of weeks where we did plain vegetables, he’s largely eaten with us. This week he’s had saffron pasta, black bean quesadillas with halloumi and pico de gallo, pilau with coriander chutney, cheese and potato pie and kale, and the meal he was least interested in was this morning’s plain scrambled eggs and toast. If you want to stick to plainer foods that’s fine but there’s no need to if you and your baby are happy.

I think your idea for going more baby led and see how that goes is sensible. It’s really not about volume at six months. At 8 months my baby is still not eating in huge amounts every meal, but he’s enthusiastic and gaining weight well so I’m happy. He’s also (other than yogurt which he loves) not into foods like porridge or weetabix or wet foods, and he always takes the spoon himself if he’s having a meal like that and lose patience with the meal more quickly.

I’d do that & 100% take the pressure off of you both. Hopefully it can be enjoyable for you both 🥰

@toastofthetown i think that’s what people mean by BLW isn’t it? Not everyone eating bland food but baby eating what the family eat? Just reducing excess salt/sugar and obviously avoiding pure chill and honey. That’s how we did BLW anyway but I haven’t RTFT

I would stop the purees entirely.
Take the pressure off. Sit him in the highchair at your own mealtimes, regardless of whether he's just had a bottle or not, and put on his plate a few bits of yours. When you are cooking, make choices that mean he can join in. Eg, low salt stock cubes. Carrots, courgette and cucumber cut in holdable sticks not rounds. Give him the biggest strawberry so he can hold in his fist and still gnaw the bit sticking out. He'll then need to discard whatever is in his fist. Strips of chicken or meat not small chunks from a stew. Penne or rigatoni pasta, not tiny fiddly macaroni. Soften raw apple segments in microwave for few mins so they are safely soft but still firm enough to remain a stick shape.
Put the food down, and eat your meal. Don't particularly watch him or talk about his eating. Occasionally pick up things he's dropped, or pass a bit more from your plate if he's running low, but don't encourage him to try this, try that, eat more. We don't constantly pass comment on other adults eating and the baby doesn't want to feel watched either. Obviously, you are actually constantly watching like a hawk for choking, but he doesn't need to know that. And tell your MIL to leave off, too!

I just gave mine the same flavours we were having. Wouldn't have offered husband's jalfrezi necessarily, but chilli con carne, king prawn and garlic butter, Thai green curry. My children like spicier food than me!

Sure when it’s part of the dish, but did you add garlic powder, coriander or cinnamon to a veggie puree?

Halloumi is far too salty for a baby that age

At 6 months he only needs one meal a day not three and it doesn't matter if he doesn't eat much of it.
It sounds like your baby would prefer finger food. My baby was similar at that age and did not want to be spoon fed. She even ate yoghurt with her hands!
As well as fruit and veg, try things like toast, omelette/boiled egg, pasta, potato, weetabix, porridge etc.

I use the Solid Starts app for a reference for how to serve foods and which foods are safe for babies and this is what they say on halloumi - that in small amounts as part of a varied diet it’s fine. I wouldn’t serve large amounts every day, but a small piece occasionally (which he doesn’t eat most of anyway) is fine.

Your husband is right- you need to chill out about this. Eventually they all end up eating wotsits off the floor at toddler parties, so keep things in perspective.

Eat together with his high chair right at the table with you and just feed him what you’re having. Make your meals without salt but season as normal otherwise (other than maybe chilli peppers). You can salt your food at the table. My son ate what we ate from day one, I just didn’t salt it when cooking. In the early days I used a stick blender for anything that needed to be a bit smoother for him.

A bit of halloumi in one meal through an entire week is absolutely fine no matter what their age. My son loved feta.

I never gave any purees. So yes, my 6 month olds both had those spices if I'd added them to a eg spag bol sauce or tagine. Definitely they got very little of it though as they couldn't pick the sauce up, but some sauce would've been on the meatballs or chicken strips they did pick up and suck on.
They only had puree texture food if it was something we adults would have like that too eg porridge, yoghurt, custard. In those cases I put a bit on the spoon for them to lift to mouth and/or they put hands in the bowl and licked.

Eventually they all end up eating Wotsits off the floor at toddler parties, so keep things in perspective

@HiCandles so much of your post makes sense, its like this autimatic response to pick things up and encourage him to try it, my husband does it to. Leaving him to it, would definately take the pressure off, even thinking about it is making me less stressed! I wish i could tell my mil to leave off! She is a very overbearing woman who doesn't agree with any of our parenting!

I have shown my husband all the commwnts and we habe both decided tohether to not offer the baby anymore puree! He definately prefers the finger foods and as @HiCandles said whenever we gave him finger foods he would eat all of the bit that stucks out from his fist and then we would remove the rest. I guess we were kinda doing the right thing but then this puree business lol tripped us up, i think its easy to see the puree in the bowl and think he needs to eat it all of some of it, whilst with finger foods you think hold on thats a big piece he doesn't need to finish that or he can't.

@SchoolDilemma17 it was only the merest hint of the spices i mentioned in the purees and as I said it was on the advice of the health visitor, alao correct me of I am wrong but I'm sure some of the ready made pouches have seasonings and spices in them? But its worth trying him without anything as each baby is different so take your advice on board completely.

@Yourethebeerthief my baby would gum the floor if he could get it in his mouth at the right angle 🤣 i know what you mean about keeping perspective though, as I explained in a earlier post my husbands side don't do very well with food and whilst some of it may be related to neurodivergence some of it was to do with my mil when they were growing up in that sense that they had limited exposure to healthy foods such as vegetables and salads and i guess that's always in the back of my mind and I'm putting pressure on myself to ensure the baby isn't exposed to that.

I'm glad you're feeling less stressed and you have a plan. It does feel quite odd not encouraging baby to eat but you have to trust them and remember it takes time. This bit is just practice at getting food in mouth, moving food in mouth, swallowing lumps, realising something is too big, working out that means spit it out, working out if that means you can bite or tear it, etc. It is not about getting nutrition from the food. That is still from the milk.
My children basically played with the food until about 9 months, only then were they eating any noticeable quantity. Both healthy hungry preschoolers who'll mostly eat anything now!
Your little one sounds like he was really keen with the finger foods so definitely agree going back to that is the right thing. It's about being baby-led, as the BLW name suggests!

@Puddings2108 don't worry about autism and ARFID.
IF your baby is autistic, he was at birth. And if he has ARFID you'll deal with it.

Only one of my four DC has ARFID even though three of them are autistic. I'm autistic myself. It's nothing to fear.

Having read your latest update, it's heartening that you're more confident and calm about weaning your baby.

@HiCandles honestly, i am kicking myself for not just going with my gut and BLW, everything you are saying is resonating. The first and second time the baby tried finger foods and he took a bite and swallowed, he gagged and was sick a little. However, since then he sonetomes gags a little if he takes a bit bite but he then moves it round his mouth and tries to break it down abd swallow it so it clearly BLW works, he is learning! I would love for my baby to grow up eating everything and having a heakthy appetite, its just so much easier isn't it.

@TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne you're absolutely right, if my baby is autistic or turns out to have ARFID, it's something we will educate ourselves on and learn to manage and help our child thrive. For me it's more about dtarting him off well in life, instilling healthy eating habits so he makes healthy eating choices in the future. Of course, he won't love all foods, but I want to give him the option of choosing what he likes after trying it and not just ruling out whole food groups because he wasn't exposed to it, does that make sense? As per my earlier post, my mil didn't encourage healthy eating so my husband for example wouldn't touch veg and salds with a barge pole, i am a healthy eating and have a broad palate so have been exposing him to veg and other healthy foods since we got married and now he is much better although the salads need more work 🙄

At 6 months neither of mine were eating 3 meals a day, even now my nearly 10mo doesn’t always have 3 meals so definitely cut yourselves some slack and remember it’s all about tastes at this stage.

I found this book invaluable when weaning mine - https://amzn.eu/d/de21OHS

@Puddings2108 I don’t know about ready made pouches, I never gave my kids those, I find them disgusting personally. No offense if people use them, it’s just not for me.
It sounds like you are very thoughtful and caring and I’m sure your baby will enjoy all different food and flavours eventually especially as you seem to role model healthy eating yourself. Have a lovely Christmas!

Highchair at the table where you eat. Give him what you’re eating. All food can be finger food at his age. Plastic mat under the high chair, long bibs, accept it’s going to be a bit more laundry for a while. Don’t overthink anything. It’s hard living with a MIL who is critical, but you sound so thoughtful, you’ve got this!

@SchoolDilemma17 my thoughts exactly on the ready made pouches! Thank you for your kind words, have a great Xmas 😊

@ThisIsMyBurnerPhone i just got the plastic mat the other day lol but yes you are right, i think finger food is the way to go, i just hope I haven't put him off too much with the purees and he will get back into it and enjoy his meals with us again. My mil is highly critical and a very difficult woman so it definately adds another layer of pressure, when I present the baby with any veg or anything remotely healthy my mil proceeds to have a conversation with him (which is more for my benefit) which goes along the line of "oh this food isn't nice is it, don't worry in another few weeks, I'll feed you yummy food". Yummy food is, basically junk food, fruits high in sugar like mango, and anything she considers food that tastes nice!

@NormaNormalPants thank you, I'll look into the book.

Second this.

Babies do not need plain food.

Give them the food they will be eating as a part of your family from day 1.

For us this was strips of steak and chicken, chunks of salmon, scrambled eggs with lots of butter and pepper, frozen veg to pick at with fingers, whole veg steamed, whole veg roasted with loads of oo, herbs, spices, rice, toast fingers, pasta bits with various sauces, cheese ( so much cheese, paneer, brie, cheddar, cream cheese, anything really ) dollops of full fat Greek yogurt, crushed chickpeas and beans, lentil bakes and soups, we even gave them salad leaves from day 1, which they absolutely cant fully manage but it familiarizes them to it and all of mine love salad now... theres always something you can offer from your plate.

Do not give them plain food unless thats what you eat everyday in your house. Just add the flavor with condiments other than salt.

Give them what you expect them to eat and let them have at it.

We didn't give any sugar until after 1, and limited fruit. They're going to like it whatever. Get them used to your healthy whole foods first.

Oh my days this brings back memories! I forgot to say, guess what we did for a while?
I tried my baby on a jar of spag bol that my mil bought (very famous baby name brand) and our DS spat it out everywhere 😆 🍝 🤢
He preferred homemade stuff, not the jars. 🙌

So whenever I cooked me and my DH spag bol, I wouldn't puree it for baby, but use a food chopper instead so it was more lumpy...
Bear with me! 😆
Hopefully I can attach the image. 🙏

My little one loved it ❤️
I used to end up making enough spag bol for 4 people, then after me, hubby and baby had some I would food chopper the rest and freeze it in little plastic boxes, so that I had some for when I couldn't be arsed didn't have time to cook 😉
A bit like batch cooking, but more lazy 😆
I would do this with every meal he liked, (cook extra and freeze: fish pie, spag bol, chicken carbonara, roast dinner) and it worked for us.
Just do what works for you.

@Puddings2108