9 month old should apparently eat what I eat - but my diet is awful

[Randomname8612]

Hi, name changed for this.

My 9 month old loves his food, once I started weaning him at 6 months he was always very keen to eat most solids and loves to eat.

I hate to cook and have been using baby food jars and pouches most of the time, combined with some home made foods that dad has made (when he has the time).
Breakfast is usually weetabix, porridge or toast, easy to make.

Thing is, now he's getting older everywhere I read seems to say he should be eating "what I eat" instead of keep resorting to jars, pouches etc. However, my diet is awful. I've had a bad relationship with food for many years, I hate cooking and preparing food, I mostly eat junk that isn't nutritional, or convenience foods that I can just blast in the microwave. My job doesn't help this, I am used to working long shifts and bringing lunches and meals that I can microwave in a short amount time, or snacking on high calorie rubbish that gives me enough energy for work. My lunch is usually just a packet of crisps.

I am trying to work through this issue, but I'm struggling.

I'll continue to try, however...... My main concern is that I'm letting my child down.
I hate cooking so much and I don't know how to cook many things due to never having any interest in it.... and can't even bring myself to cook things for him. I can't "put things aside for him" like many websites suggest because my own meal is just absolute junk. I'm ashamed of this.

I haven't enjoyed the weaning process at all, it was so much easier when he only needed milk.

Because of covid, DH shifts have changed and he is working very late hours and can't make dinners like usual. So I somehow have to step up. But I don't even know where to start.

Just wondering if anyone else out there is similar to me and what solutions they have found to help?

Please try not to judge or mock. I am trying to change.

Ah don’t worry op
This is just something people say online.
Perhaps get used to cooking batches of slow cooker meals and then freeze in portions. Just simple, bolognese, veg soup, chicken stew, curry etc.
Little one can have that, you can if you fancy, but if you want crisps you’re portion remains in the freezer. Do t beat yourself up. Eating habits are very complicated things.

The river cottage book for babies is great, lots of family food that's suitable for babies.

Just start slowly, the only thing I'd say if you're new to cooking is that jars, packet sauces (for adults) are generally really high in salt and sugar. You can just use a tin of chopped tomatoes to make pasta sauce /bolognaise etc.

No judgement here, you've recognised the issue, plenty of time to sort. FYI I enjoy cooking but HATED weaning, horrible process, so don't feel guilt about that!

It sounds like learning to cook would be really good for you, as your son gets older you'll be eating together, you'll need him to learn table manners, try a variety of food etc and you want it to be nourishing, plus you're own healthy, so I think it's a task that would be hugely worthwhile for both of you. I wouldn't obsess over what's healthy perse but just trying to start with less junk and microwaves. Have you thought of maybe starting with things like Uncle ben's cooking sauces and old El Paso type things? I know they're not perfect but it might be a good start if you are a complete novice and feel nervous starting with recipes?

It is worth trying to make a positive change and you have recognised you dont have a healthy relationship with food, your baby will.pick up on this whether you like it or not so maybe ask your doc for a referral to a nutritionist to try and learn about how food affects and fuels your body and learn simple ways of incorporating healthy foods and meals

I think nearly all parents use jars at some point so I really wouldn't worry about that. Some feed their babies purely jars and some don't. The important thing is baby is eating.

You could make a big pot of soup and blend it down, freeze some of it so it doesn't go to waste. Baked potatoes are an easy option for lunches or dinners, plenty of toppings for a baked potato. Start simple.

You can also buy next stage meals, the with lumps ones, there are fresh ones as well as long life ones.
I would suggest keeping frozen peas in at all times as they are an extremely easy & quick way To add a vegetable.

Perhaps you would find it easier to plan a few days meals ahead? Then you could plan to cook, or batch cook one thing around the ready made stuff?

I don't know if it will help, but maybe don't think of it as "I have to cook healthy food all the time." Instead, you could cook two healthy meals each week. But make sure you cook enough that you have lots of leftovers. That way, you can have good food aside for your baby, as well as a couple of recipes that you can cook well. The drawback of this method is that making bigger batches does take longer, so you might think cooking is harder than it is.

Also, there are some super quick meals, like omelettes, jacket potatoes (just like a microwave meal really - shove it in the oven), or even beans on toast. They're not necessarily super healthy, but likely better than most microwave meals and will show you that cooking really isn't so hard.

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. You sound like you're really beating yourself up about this. A lot of people have poor eating habits. You're a superstar for recognising it and wanting to change for your baby.

Start simple, scrambled eggs, omelette, frittata are all good - you can add shredded meat/veg.

I'd suggest the river cottage baby book or actually a simple 'student' cookbook - these are full of easy quick and nutritious recipes - just beware of salt content.

Cooking is a basic skill like any other - if you can follow a recipe you can cook. And it's great that you've recognised this issue and are addressing it

You have done really well in being honest with yourself and in writing this post, OP, and you are doing well to be raising a little lad who has approached weaning with such gusto!

Have you ever spoken to anyone about your issues with food?

‘Cooking’ is simply heating food up until cooked. Just like microwaving a ready meal which is heating it for the second time.

Unprocessed healthy food for your child does not need to be complicated.

A banana, slices of fresh fruit, strawberries etc.

Put a baked potato in the oven til cooked, cut in half, mashed with a little cheese and some cucumber batons on the side.

Buy frozen skinless boneless fillets of cod or salmon. Put in the oven at 180 degrees for 20 mins with a sprinkling of parsley on top. Boil some baby potatoes, boil some frozen peas.

Slice sweet potato into slim wedges, very lightly coat in oil, roast in oven for 25 minutes at 200’.

Maybe ask your partner to help with one easy thing a week: scrambled egg makes a good meal with a ‘soldier’ of wholewheat toast and butter followed by fresh strawberries.

Don't expect to suddenly go from eating junk to eating healthy. But our kids do model our behaviour. So if you don't want your kid growing up with the same habits, try and upgrade them gradually.

Now he has toast? Why not egg and soldiers.
Porridge? Add some fruit.

Sandwich for lunch? Add some cut up veg on the side, or some in the sandwich. Or some fruit after.
Just having crisps? Why not add some dip and some veg sticks.

Dinner is a ready meal? Say it's macaroni cheese, then stir some peas and sweet corn through it and serve with some carrots. Having pizza? He can have a slice or two, but add some veg or fruit or a toddler rice pouch.

They need variety, they don't need gourmet. Some days I don't cook anything that uses more than a toaster or microwave, but my kids get a variety of fruit and veg, fats, protein, carbs. I love doing microwave "baked" potato or sweet potato, scrambled eggs, things like that, that just are simple healthy foods with no drama.

One of my kids favourite meals is when I just serve up a divider plate of whatever we have left in. I've been known to serve up a handful of Cheerios, some raisins, some cheese cubes, some pickled beetroot and some tinned sweet corn and them be happier with that than a lovingly home cooked meal!

I love cooking, but had a friend similar to you. Our sons are almost exactly the same age and I helped her transition from microwave junk to normal meals.

1. start small. 1-4 ingredient foods. pp mentioned eggs: perfect. Sometimes add: peas or cheese, or spinach

Advanced egg recipe: egg+flour until it's a light pancake mix (runny, but not watery). add anything you have at home: cheese (always in our house), ham, chorizo, peas, corn, pepper, tomato..... pour it in the small muffin tray and bake in oven. Or bake as a frittata on the hob.

1. create your own recipe book. I still prefer paper, but look around what works for you. There are millions of apps.

I categorized the foods: breakfast, lunch, dinner, nibbles, desert, other. and organized accordingly my postits in a shoe box.

1. Don't fuss and think about how annoying it is to find the recipe, make sure you have everything... no. Just flip through your lists and pick one.
2. make sure you know the basics: appr. how much protein, veggies, minerals are needed. This is easy to find and logic will help you.
3. My friend used to scribble on her wall what she made (chalk) and in the first few months we'd sit down and re-evaluate her choices, refine it.
4. It's perfectly okay to not eat healthy food all the time. As long as your kid gets the proper nutrients in the sufficient amount than you're good.

For this to work I gave only fruit and veg as nibbles until my son was about 7(ish). Crisps/chocolate were classed as desert. This helped me in keeping track of things.

(for context: I have had a gut related chronic illness for 25 years now, so like it or not I have to be extra mindful of food. And I don't like it, but it is what it is.)

I hate to cook too. Can you set aside 3 hours every 2 weeks batch cook 4 different meal options, e.g spag bol, Tuna pasta bake, chicken curry etc and freeze them take one out a day and top up with fresh veg/fruit?

Also Scrambled eggs are healthy and easy to cook

I also roast a whole chicken once a week while boys are sleeping, carve it and give it to them cold with their meals most days for the protein.

Good for you OP for recognising your habits aren’t great, I think setting aside some time to cook a couple times a week and freeze extras is a great start to healthier eating. You'll probably find it a lot cheaper in the long run than ready meals and jars/pouches for baby - they cost a fortune!

Things I typically do are roast chicken in the slow cooker with veg, no prep at all and feeds everyone for a couple days. Chilli, pasta bake, easy curry etc are all quick and can be frozen and eaten on a day you have less time.

It also doesn’t have to be a spectacular made from scratch affair, some sliced ham with eggs and toast, eggs, beans and chicken bites etc all work well! The occasional ready meal won’t do any of you any harm but encouraging a healthier diet is a great thing for your baby to learn from you.

Would really help if you said the things you do feel confident cooking so we can get an idea of your skill level?

Then we can suggest recipes/dishes to cook for you both

This is a good opportunity for you to improve your diet and health for you and your child's sake

It doesn't need to be onerous or time consuming necessarily and there are cheats and short cuts too, you just need to be careful with salt and additives.

But off top of my head some things that are easy are:

Scrambled eggs with a little grated cheese and toast fingers

Pasta with natural flavourings - butter, herbs, cream cheese, a home made low sodium tomato sauce with a few veggies thrown in - Tinned sweetcorn, diced peppers, carrots, mushrooms, courgette or aubergine that you've sautéed off

You could make a batch of sautéed veg then freeze in portions big enough for baby.

Steamed rice with peas and carrots

Tuna with corn and mashed potato

You could also batch cook thick soups, casseroles and stews that you've made low sodium, blend and freeze depending on how "chunky" he can cope with.

These take very little effort really and there's no reason you can't use ready prepared veggies and fresh meat (not processed, things like ready diced chicken, good quality mince)

Just from a quick browse on Tesco app I can see that you can get ready peeled and cut/prepared:

Carrots (I started buying carrot batons when Dd a baby, frozen they're a great teething aid!)

Broccoli
Cauliflower

Butternut squash and sweet potato (babies tend to love this roasted and puréed and dead easy to do)
Onions (I always have frozen diced onion in as chopping them makes my eyes agony with the tears thing and I can't see!)

There's a stir fry "medley" :

Baby corn, mangetout, tenderstem broccoli, salad onion and chilli.

You can use all but the chilli for baby - (again frozen baby corn great for teething they are fine eaten raw)

Green beans

All ready to cook

And as pp say it doesn't have to be a "proper" recipe every time as long as you've got all food groups covered through the day nothing wrong with cold plates, sandwiches, wraps that kind of thing

Dd is 19 now and I remember (vaguely) when little she was quite happy having a plate with diced cooked chicken, carrot batons and bread and butter or toast on the side - carbs, protein and veg! Sorted! Yogurt or fruit or both for after - doesn't need to be immediately after if they're not hungry at that point, it can be "supper" before bed

Thanks so much everyone for all the advice and food suggestions. I'm gonna try my best to make changes for my son's sake.

Little by little OP.
Don’t freak yourself out.
Good luck.

Don't freak yourself out trying to do loads of fancy stuff. Like PPs have said, go easy. Something on toast, eggs, potatoes. Maybe learn one pasta dish you can all eat and later on you can tweak it - swapping chicken for ham or extra veggies maybe. Buy prepped veg until you feel less overwhelmed.
It's lovely that you want to. The odd (or more) jar doesn't hurt.

Start small OP. Scrambled eggs, omelettes and beans on toast are all easy and nutritious. My DDs loved pasta with Philadelphia and sweet corn stirred through.

Baby steps - you’ll get there.

Also feel free to use prepped frozen veg - it's a lifesaver - you can chuck handfuls of frozen peppers, spinach etc into pasta, rice, stir fries etc.
Frozen sweet potato chunks can be oven baked chuck a load in the oven with some cherry tomatoes and onion wedges and chicken thighs for a one-tray oven bake.

There are loads of healthy convenient foods out there

I never used to cook proper food until I had a baby. Someone bought me the Annabel Karmel baby cookbook (this was 25 years ago) and it was great, I just used to batch cook and freeze in small portions.

At that point I bought some adult cookbooks and started cooking properly for myself too.

At the end of the day, you've just got to get on with it, whether it interests you or not. I would suggest simple recipes that you can cook with very little faffing, especially if you invest in a basic food processor to chop onions and veg. Stews, pasta sauces that he can have with the small pasta shapes, cottage pie etc.

Slightly off topic but if boredom is the issue I stick the radio on and sing along while I'm cooking. Great opportunity to belt our power ballads!

Its not cooking for you too, but I found the Anabelle Karmel books a godsend. So many simple ideas, that I woudnt have thought of myself. I passed them on to my brother and he used them too, so useful especially for a first baby.

@Graphista

Slightly off topic but if boredom is the issue I stick the radio on and sing along while I'm cooking. Great opportunity to belt our power ballads!

Audible for me! I lose hours now in the kitchen. Quite happily!

I find simple rules best. My one that never ever gets broken is There Will Be Fruit Or Vegetables at Every Meal And Snack. You don't to cook to shove a mini cucumber, tomato or strawberries next to whatever you can be arsed to throw together.