Do I have to do BLW?

[Crumpetsforthequeen]

When we had DD7 we used pouches for every meal up until she was 12 months and she now eats everything.

Now we've had DS 9 months and it seems like all the rules have changed?

Our HV is really pushing BLW but it's just really not working for us, we've tried daily since he was 6m but it's just not happening, he vomits after about 3 bites/mouthfuls no matter what I give him at different textures but is fine with pouches (which we had to start using as he wasn't actually getting anything in) and even then he gets to a point where he starts gagging and he have to stop.

I've talked to HV about it as it seems he's inherited DH and DD's ginormous tonsils and the food just seems to get stuck but she just scoffed at me and told me to carry on trying.

We had issues with DD feeding until she had her tonsils removed at 4 so I'm wondering if it's the same thing? But HV and GP seems to think I'm being an overdramatic mother when I mention it.

They're making me feel like a bad mum, that I'm doing something wrong and maybe I am but something doesn't feel right with him.

Do I carry on in the hopes he'll miraculously stop vomiting or do I stay on the pouches for now? Kinda feel like I'm not allowed to choose? Wwyd?

You do whatever suits you and your baby. We did a mix of puree and finger foods (which is what traditional weaning is) and it suited us fine

Do what suits you. Mine were all a mixture. One will wean in a couple of months and if sitting up we will offer a spoon and to try flavours.

Of course you are allowed to choose - there’s a big push from HV’s for BLW however it doesn’t work for everyone. Didn’t work for us, DD just made a mess and didn’t eat anything. She will eat finger foods if we give them but most is purées or mashed food from a spoon.

And health visitors have their own opinions, not facts when it comes to some things. This is one. Sleeping cn be another. The likelihood is another hv from the same unit would have a different opinion. That's how I've found things like eating, weaning, feeding milk.

Thank you, I do feel we should continue with the pouches but the way the HV goes on at me it makes it feel like I don't have a choice.

It's a big shock as when DD was born we had no imput from HV but with DS she's constantly there monitoring my every move with him.

Tell her politely that you will parent your child in a way that works best for him. Why is she so involved? Especially during lockdown.

Give the pouches but do offer finger foods alongside

And get a second GP opinion if your dd had the same issues and needed surgery.

Do what suits you. Pouches are expensive and often high in sugar/very sweet tasting, though. I'd add some homemade puree every now and again.

Does he gag on soft things like banana and cooked carrot sticks? You could try one of those dummy things with a silicon teat you put food in - they just chew it out and can't gag.

He will need to learn to eat real food one day, so I wouldn't give up entirely.

Do what you feel is right it's your baby.
Sometimes these health care professionals try to push things on us to much. X

I did traditional weaning with my first (now almost 3) and plan to do the same with DC2 (3.5 months).
I used to only use the pouches for when we were out and about though. I preferred to puree my own fruit and veg at home.

We did purées and it worked well... we did finger foods too but it was less mess and we knew what they were eating!
The nursery nurse had pushed BLW but I was quite happy to do separate cooking for purées as I just batch cooked and froze it.

Your HV should not be interfering to this degree. They are an optional service, not a monitoring system.

I tried BLW with my daughter but she stuffed everything in her mouth at once and constantly gagged so we stuck with purée at first and then very small bits of food - things like mild grated cheese, tiny bits of toast, banana etc. She had jars and pouches for her main meals and yoghurt or fruit purée for pudding. This went on for quite a while as she still tried to eat too much at once (a family trait, alas!), and I also had people on my back telling me how I 'should' be feeding her who I had to ignore. She's now two and a half with a great palette and has been eating the same meals as her dad and me since she was one.

You must listen to your instincts as nobody knows your baby better than you and there is no one way to do things

No, and very few people do genuine BLW, it's a lot more than just a few finger foods, most people I know do mixed (but will call it BLW). I spoon fed with some foods as finger foods on the side to improve motor skills.

Just nod and smile at the health visitor and then do what you want I'm going to be weaning in a couple of months and plan on using puree, at least in the beginning. I've just bought a stick blender so I can blend up some fruit etc. and then a bit of whatever we're having

I'm not doing BLW. It just stresses me out too much. I'm terrified of choking I'm doing a mixture of pouches, mashed food and finger foods. DS is 8 months. He copes well with toast, those baby wafer things, grated cheese, scrambled egg. He choked on cooked carrot a couple of weeks ago and terrified me so I'm holding off on that for a little while. Flavour wise he will eat anything and he is fine with getting a spoon into his mouth. I think I'm going to try peas as a finger food soon so he can develop his pincer grip

You could try mixing some mashed potato or baby pasta with the pouches to make them thicker

Of course you don't 'have' to do anything. Personally I don't think feeding entirely pouches until 12 months is a great choice - I think that's a long time to only have processed food and it isn't recommended to have no finger foods at all for that long - but I can't 'make' you do anything differently and nor can your health visitor.

Do what works for you. Your baby, you know him, you can tell the HV to leave you alone.

I am surprised. We did BLW with both of our kids but they were spoon refusers and neither so much as gagged once, they took to feeding themselves really well. I have only met one other person who did it though - everyone else seems to spoon feed or do a mix (and incorrectly describe it as BLW).

Do what you want - BLW worked well for us but I wouldn't have done it if it hadn't

I have an 11-week OLS and haven’t seen an hv since my prenatal visit due to lockdown.

Had one phone call when we returned home.

Is something else going on? Other concerns?

^old

Is the HV involved for other reasons? Other than a quick chat about weaning at our 16-week jabs, ours have never asked or been involved! We don't even see ours regularly outside of the developmental checks.

Of course you don't have to do BLW. It's your child. Do what you like.

Baby led= following your baby's lead. Sounds like he prefers purees. So by giving them, you are following his lead.

I had one who wanted spoon feeding... An one who would grab the spoon off you and shovel it in instead.

I do think purées for every meal for six months isn't ideal but it's your choice. Part of the joy of weaning for me was seeing DD explore different foods and textures (and we did purées to start with) and joining in our meals. And I think it's unnecessarily limiting and expensive to stick to pouches (and the savoury ones are usually gross). But it's your choice ultimately.