Do I have to do BLW?

[Crumpetsforthequeen]

When we had DD7 we used pouches for every meal up until she was 12 months and she now eats everything.

Now we've had DS 9 months and it seems like all the rules have changed?

Our HV is really pushing BLW but it's just really not working for us, we've tried daily since he was 6m but it's just not happening, he vomits after about 3 bites/mouthfuls no matter what I give him at different textures but is fine with pouches (which we had to start using as he wasn't actually getting anything in) and even then he gets to a point where he starts gagging and he have to stop.

I've talked to HV about it as it seems he's inherited DH and DD's ginormous tonsils and the food just seems to get stuck but she just scoffed at me and told me to carry on trying.

We had issues with DD feeding until she had her tonsils removed at 4 so I'm wondering if it's the same thing? But HV and GP seems to think I'm being an overdramatic mother when I mention it.

They're making me feel like a bad mum, that I'm doing something wrong and maybe I am but something doesn't feel right with him.

Do I carry on in the hopes he'll miraculously stop vomiting or do I stay on the pouches for now? Kinda feel like I'm not allowed to choose? Wwyd?

It's not BLW if he's been having pouches for the last 3 months, adding finger food is just the next stage of traditional weaning (same as it was 7 years ago).

There's nothing wrong with pouches but id consider it a little unusual for a 9 month old to be having no finger food at all. I'd probably just give him something easy like cut up banana to try / play with for a few minutes first, then follow up with puree.

With my first I did a mixture (purée and finger food) with my second it was a bit easier to blw as I when I made food for my first I gave her a few bits of his meal if that makes sense (rather than making whole meals that would mostly be flung around). In fairness I did notice she used cutlery much younger and eats a wider variety of food.

However I think if she was vomiting frequently like you say your child is I probably would stop as I wanted food to be enjoyable and vomiting definitely isn't enjoyable. Feed you child what you want as long as it's healthy, kids used to be reared on condensed milk and given whiskey to sleep! So I don't think purée is doing to much damage and might be better as he's not associating food with being sick

I wouldn't say it's changed that much. My kids are 5 and 7 and they were big on BLW back then. We did mainly purees with finger foods for both of them.

It definitely depends on the HV and what's going on with funding at the time. We live in what's called a Flying Start area of Wales. It's recognised as a low income area with all of the social problems that brings. So they have funding for early intervention. Intensive health visiting, lots available at the family centre, funded child care from 2YO etc. Even then, with my eldest, we saw the HV every week until he was 12 weeks. Then the HV left and we hardly saw anyone. New HV started when I was pregnant with my youngest. They started doing visits before the baby was born by then. So even in two years it had changed. I saw her regularly until youngest was about two. She was good but ended up going off with stress and left!

I'm surprised your hv is so involved. I've a 7mo and not spoken to one since he was about 10 days old. Just do what you want - as long as you're offering a healthy balanced diet it doesn't matter if it's puree or finger food.

My DS sounds very similar, we went straight on pouches and tried where possible with finger foods etc. DS had such a strong gag reflex and still has even now at 2.5 he is very selective with textures etc. He is a happy healthy boy who is growing well so I don’t see the issue. He will eventually start to eat more solids etc and chew better. The worst thing to do is listen to a health visitor who is so insistent on BLW. You are made out to feel as if your in the wrong etc.

Don't let the health visitor pressure you into doing anything you don't want, if purées work for you then carry on until baby isn't gagging any more.

One of the benefits of BLW is for the child to experience separate flavours, the theory being that they will be less fussy in the long term. You can do this by offering homemade purées of a single flavour.

I have done a mixture of finger foods and purées as this works for us. She's 10.5 months and enjoying both feeding herself and us helping her.
My health visitor gave me dates for a weaning session we attended when she was 6 months and that was it. Just had a telephone conversation the other day as they aren't doing home visits for the 9-12 month check.
Do what feels right for you and your family xxx

You aren’t doing baby led weaning if you have already fed him purees - the hv is probably trying to get you on the next stage past purees (to mash and finger foods). Purees are only meant for babies younger than 6 months: babies older than that don’t need them and shouldn’t have them because it can cause delays with facial muscle development and swallowing.

If you feel nervous just get the finger food packs from Ella’s Kitchen.

I did both purées , jars etc and finger foods.

You don't have to do BLW in any strict sense (I personally did a mixture of things) but at 9mo I think you really should be helping your child to eat textures and lumps of food---just sucking food out of a pouch and never doing anything else is not really preparing them for eating normal family meals. Giving lumps and pieces of food for self feeding by 9m is not even BLW, it's just standard weaning advice. Have you talked to a doctor to rule out texture/swallowing issues?

Purees are only meant for babies younger than 6 months: babies older than that don’t need them and shouldn’t have them because it can cause delays with facial muscle development and swallowing.

Well.... no. It's believed that not eating lumps and pieces of food at all can increase the risk that they will not develop normal swallowing skills etc. in a timely manner. But the purees themselves do not cause the problem (assuming the baby is eating lumps and finger foods as well as purees). If purees themselves somehow harmed the baby, we'd have to ban yogurt and mashed potato as well!

I agree that purees are mostly for younger babies, but I think pureeing or mincing certain foods like meat and leafy vegetables is a good idea until they are 1 or so. It's hard for them to chew spinach or lumps of meat when they don't have any molars.

I'm old, and my children are in their 20s. We were always told not to feed finger foods till approximately 10 months or so, due to risk of choking . I know times have changed, along with the advice, but just to let you know, all my adult children have excellent motor skills and they ate widely and well, from early childhood and up.
I won't presume to give you feeding advice, as I know I'm out of date, but I would like to reassure you that whatever you choose to do, your child will be fine.

Thank you all for your answers, I just want to clarify with the pouches we give him.

We go up with the stages as his ages reaches them eg. Now he's 10 months old he's on the 10m+ which is textured and lumpy. We are not feeding him totally pureed smooth pouches meant for 4m+.

He is fine with the 10m+ textures (gags a bit) but it's the normal 'grown up food' as in pieces of toast, eggs, pasta, chicken basically anything we have for tea or stuff we don't normally eat like cauliflower, he just doesn't get on with.