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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

Original poster

Please tell me NO health visitor in the land would advise/recommend this ?

101 replies

FoghornLeghorn · 04/06/2007 11:56

My BIL & his ex have a baby girl together - she is 2 weeks older than my DD2 which makes her 7 months old this week.
She has been weaned from as early as I can remember on baby rice - infact, I think my DD was little over a week old when this started. My DN is now and has been for some while eating foods that I personally wouldn't give to my children at such a young age - each to their own - they believe they know best.......

HOWEVER

........ I am now seriously concerned - BIL was here yesterday and he gave DN a bottle of milk, not formula, full fat cows milk. I asked him about this and he said she was no longer on formula, hasn't been for about 2 weeks, purely on full fat cows milk and food.
She isn't even 7 months old .
I think the look on my face sort of expressed how I felt as BIL asked what was wrong. It is their first child so I tried really hard not to do the whole I've got 2 children, I know best things but tried to explaint he reasons why babies aren't supposed to have full fat milk at that age, let alone have it solely, with no formula. I explained how much salt was in it and that too much salt can kill babies and has done so in the past.
He just brushed it aside - think I annoyed him - saying that his ex has okayed it with HV and she actualy recommended it.

I really don't want to but in but I don't think they realise the implications of this

OP posts:
nogoes · 04/06/2007 12:00

Usually I wouldn't interfere but on this occasion you have to because they are seriously damaging the babies health. I don't believe they have for one minute been given this advice by their HV, either they are incredibly thick and have misunderstood the advice given or they are lying to you because they know that they haven't got a clue what they are doing.

Go to them again armed with all the information you can find and explain to they why what they are doing is wrong. YOu will probably fall out with them over it but you do sound like they need a kick up the backside.

nogoes · 04/06/2007 12:01

They sound like they need a kick NOT you

Malaleche · 04/06/2007 12:05

i fear the kicking is 6 months too late....

mylittlestar · 04/06/2007 12:06

I don't know the detailed arguments behind this, but do remember my HV saying formula until at least 1...

Agree that you should get all the info you can - print some off web/speak to your HV etc and go to them with it... even at the risk of upsetting them or causing bad feeling... it doesn't matter if they are doing something which could really harm their baby.
Leave them with the info, then let them make the decision for themselves. I know it's hard as a parent when people tell you that you're doing something wrong. But if I did something that could harm my baby I'd want someone to tell me!

Original poster
FoghornLeghorn · 04/06/2007 12:09

I just don't know what to do. I told MIL (his mum) and she totally agreed with me but said she can't say anything because he wont listen and she will cause a major problem.

I'm sorry but a major problem is worth causing over this - I know it is extreme but babies have died - I just don't know if I should be the one to do it. DH's other brother's other half backed my up totally but is it our place to be doing all the worrying and problem causing.
I think I might ask DH to say something

OP posts:
Original poster
FoghornLeghorn · 04/06/2007 12:11

Thanks MLS (and everyone).
I am going to clinic this afternoon to get DD2 weighed so will speak to HV then.
It doesn't help that I despise BIL's ex so everyone's backs are up already concerning me and her. She would probably just take it that I am trying to say she is a bad mum and getting at her.

OP posts:
Otter · 04/06/2007 12:11

what EXACTLY are you worried about?

Otter · 04/06/2007 12:12

I would under no circumstances talk to HV it is not your place

Original poster
FoghornLeghorn · 04/06/2007 12:12

We don't have the same HV so surely it would have no effect if I asked my HV a few questions about ?

OP posts:
Otter · 04/06/2007 12:13

Does the baby look malnourished /uncared for?

Original poster
FoghornLeghorn · 04/06/2007 12:13

I am worried that they could be seriously hurting their daughter (my niece). She is barely 7 months old and puely on cows milk

OP posts:
Original poster
FoghornLeghorn · 04/06/2007 12:14

No otter she doesn't at all but you surely cannot agree that cows milk is appropriate or sensible at this age

OP posts:
Otter · 04/06/2007 12:14

no - she is on food as well isn't she?

Original poster
FoghornLeghorn · 04/06/2007 12:15

Yes she is on food too but no forumla or breast milk

OP posts:
Otter · 04/06/2007 12:16

tbh I would not do it - but in 15 years of parenting i know plenty that have

If she is fine leave her parents to bring her up as they choose
perhaps they thnk you are over cautious...

when I had my first 3 children HV's did not have this all important role that they now appear to

No one taaught me how to wean and though i probably did it craply i have healthy happy strapping teenagers

blw....

belgo · 04/06/2007 12:17

you can ask your HV about it, but i'm not sure there's anything you can do. If you don't get on with the mother, she's hardly going to respect your advice.

Original poster
FoghornLeghorn · 04/06/2007 12:19

I follow BLW otter but I wouldn't say that taking a child off of formula milk and putting them on to cows milk for no apparent reason has any factor in that.
My DD determines what she wants to eat and what she doens't - she will pick up certain things I give her and not others but she certainly doesn't tell me to change her milk.

Maybe i am over-reacting ? Maybe it's not my place to say or do anything ?

OP posts:
Original poster
FoghornLeghorn · 04/06/2007 12:20

I totally agree Belgo. I don't want to talk to my HV to do anything about it, just ask her opinion and if there would be a reason to change to cows milk at such a young age.
She wont respect my advice which is why I wont give it to her - If I say anything it will be to BIL but it will be done in a very subtle way, I wont go in all guns blazing

OP posts:
tortoiseSHELL · 04/06/2007 12:21

Generally the advice is breast milk or formula as a main drink till 12 months, then you can go straight on to cows milk.

Not heard about the salt thing - I always thought it was because cows milk didn't contain all the nutrients required. Will do a bit of looking!

wannaBe · 04/06/2007 12:27

presumably your bil is following what his ex has said .. perhaps to keep the peace/perhaps because he trusts her opinion. if they've split then presumably he wouldn't have that much of an influence over what she does/doesn't feed their dd so even if you managed to convince him that wouldn't mean that the ex would listen.

There are lots of things that aren't within the recommended guidelines, weening at 16 weeks/formula feeding in the first place/I don't know of any hv's that would recommend blw either, but people do what they feel is best for their baby and ultimately they are the parents and unless their baby is malnurished it really is none of yours or anyone else's business.

I have a friend who fed her ds cows milk from the day she stopped bf, and that was way before six months. and she did it because he refused to take formula, so the choice was cows milk or nothing.

It wouldn't be my choice but everyone and every baby is different.

lilymolly · 04/06/2007 12:29

I too think its the nutrient value of formula vs cows milk, never heard the salt content being an issue, I think it just trace amount to salt.

whilst I do not think its ideal, it is their baby, and I really do not think any harm will come to it.

tiredemma · 04/06/2007 12:29

From Food Standards Agency-

"If you choose not to breastfeed, infant formula is the only alternative to breast milk. Your baby will need breast milk or formula milk until they're at least a year old. Cows' milk is not suitable as a drink until a baby is a year old because it contains too much salt and protein, and not enough iron and other nutrients, to meet your baby's needs."

btw- what is BLW? and what does it entail- did I miss something with my own boys???

lilymolly · 04/06/2007 12:31

I stand corrected

Original poster
FoghornLeghorn · 04/06/2007 12:32

I do agree with what you are saying WannaBe - I have always gone along with every baby is different, it's the parents who should do what they think etc and I have followed that myself to a certain extend.
I don't know why but something is just really concerning me about the cows milk - I know there is no reason why she shouldn't be having it as BIL said that ex had decided to do it as part of her weaning.

It isn't my place to say anything

OP posts:
Original poster
FoghornLeghorn · 04/06/2007 12:32

Thanks TiredEmma - BLW is baby led weaning

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