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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

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Original poster

At my wits end with 6mo not wanting food

45 replies

LlamaPyjamas · 07/08/2018 14:30

Been weaning for a few weeks and DS (6 months old) still shows no interest in eating. He won’t open his mouth for the spoon. When I touch the spoon to his lips he goes Ppfftt! and blows a raspberry. If I manage to get any food in his mouth he blows it out, and if it’s not completely smooth he gags (went purple choking on soft porridge). I feel like I’m force feeding him! He is eating precisely zero food except for yogurt. He will happily open his mouth for plain yogurt so he obviously knows what he’s supposed to do!

I’ve tried BLW but he doesn’t even attempt to put the chunks in his mouth, he just throws them on the floor. And tbh it feels unsafe giving him chunks anyway.

Last week I gave him a sliced omelette and his cheeks swelled up red with white lumps. So he is obviously allergic to egg. We’re now waiting for a referral to the hospital allergy clinic and I’ve been advised to avoid allergens and only feed foods I already know are safe. Which makes an already bad situation even worse.

Friends’ babies (some only 3-4 months old) are happily opening their mouths like baby birds and stuffing themselves with finger food, and their mums are proudly telling me how much their babies enjoy their food. I feel like a failure and I’m worried there’s something wrong with my child.

OP posts:

Thesearmsofmine · 07/08/2018 14:34

Honestly he is 6 months, his nutrition comes from his milk, if he doesn’t like being fed then don’t feed him. Let him pick up chunks of food and squash them and throw them on the floor. One day he will decide to taste some instead.

Relax and don’t worry about what he is eating at this age, weaning should be fun! Don’t worry about what your friends babies do, babes aged 3 months shouldn’t be on solid food anyway

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 07/08/2018 14:35

He's only 6 months, stop worrying about it! Let him play away and consider it a bonus if he actually eats anything.

RuskBaby · 07/08/2018 14:39

You are definitely not a failure. It’s not a race! Just relax and let them eat what they want. Some babies take to it and some don’t just as some will walk sooner, they will get there.

Branleuse · 07/08/2018 14:39

dont worry about it. My dd wasnt interested till about 7.5 months. She was my 3rd though so thankfully I wasnt stressed. I just offered her a bit of banana every now and again but she wasnt the slightest bit bothered by it and then one day she just seemed interested and we went from there. My boys wanted to eat earlier than that. All normal too

You dont need to encourage them to eat solids. They do it when theyre ready. Absolutely no point stressing. If hes still not interested by a year, then id ask the health visitor then

NuffingChora · 07/08/2018 14:43

Give him a chance! Totally normal. DD was 10 months before anything of any real substance passed her lips. ‘Food is for fun before one!’

Original poster

LlamaPyjamas · 07/08/2018 14:44

The health visitor is telling me he needs iron rich foods because the iron stores he was born with will be depleted. My mother insists he has to be offered 3 meals a day and had a go at me for feeding only breakfast and dinner with breast milk in between. Friends’ babies are all eating successfully at the same age or younger. I know they shouldn’t have been weaned under 6 months but that’s not the point here - the point is that babies younger than mine are happily eating. It’s not unreasonable to be concerned that my baby is the only one who’s not eating.

OP posts:

imsconequeen · 07/08/2018 14:44

Fuck other people's children! Do not compare! Their parents are probably lying Nyway

Just leave it for a few weeks and start again x

foxitude · 07/08/2018 14:45

My eldest didn't really put anything in her mouth for months after we first tried. I didn't bother with purées or spoons etc. Gave her some soft food to hold and she played with it. Eventually ate it. She was and still is a cautious and reserved person so was perhaps naturally wary of something new. She had milk so wasn't worried about her getting nutrients. I think the advice is milk is the main food until 1 and food just an extra. If you're stressing your child will pick up on that very quickly and you'll have far more problems then. Hold back, make sure he has enough milk and eat at the table with him sitting watching you. I am sure at some point he will try and steal your food!

SoyDora · 07/08/2018 14:46

Neither of mine really ate anything until about 9 months. Both very healthy at 4 and 3 and eat a huge range of foods.
I know it’s hard when you’re feeling pressure from other areas but honestly don’t worry. He will eat.

littlemisscomper · 07/08/2018 14:47

Stop trying!! Food is merely for sensory play at this age. For squishing and smearing and dropping and splashing in. I would avoid sitting him in a high chair and approaching him with a spoon, but instead lie a tarpaulin on the floor in a room that can be easily cleaned and put various foodstuffs on a shallow tray in the centre of it, and let him discover it for himself. Maybe for the 10 minutes just before bathtime so he can just be in his nappy and get washed straight after. See it merely as exploratory play, if any works its way into his mouth that's fine, but if it doesn't and he just wants to mess with it, that's fine too!

NotAQueef · 07/08/2018 14:48

agree with others, don't worry about how much he is eating - which will be easier if you're not feeding it via a spoon. Just put a little of whatever you're having on his highchair tray and go from there. My daughter would happily pick up and gum food but was definitely not on 3 meals actually eaten a day til 8/9mo - it's a process not a race and you haven't failed at anything.

Creatureofthenight · 07/08/2018 14:49

He’s only 6 months. Have a little break and then try again. Or just stick with offering one meal a day. He will get the hang of it eventually. I know it’s hard but try not to get stressed about it .
My 13 month old eats like a bird, there’s babies half her age putting away a full dinner, but I’m not stressed as long as she’s happy and healthy.

QueenAravisOfArchenland · 07/08/2018 14:50

Calm down. Plenty of babies aren't ready at 6 months and no babies younger than 6 months are skilfully feeding themselves finger food. None. Who gives the tiniest shit what other babies are doing? Being weaned too young is what some of those other babies are doing, judging by what you have said, which is putting them at risk long term.

Babies need other sources of iron by age 1 but you're still 6 months off that. Give vitamin drops if you're worried and otherwise let it be. Include baby in mealtimes and give him bits of the family meal to play with. When he's ready he will eat.

PrincessDaff · 07/08/2018 14:51

My son didn't touch anything until about 8 months and that was only pureed foods. Everyone thought he would be great at weaning because he was a bigger baby but like a few people have said he got everything he needed from milk. He was never interested and its only now (14 months) that he properly eats meals.

Do not stress about it. He will let you know when he is ready. Just keep offering him little bits and when he is ready he will take it.

butlerswharf · 07/08/2018 15:03

Food before 12 months is just for fun. Please don't worry

Original poster

LlamaPyjamas · 07/08/2018 15:14

I am worried though. I’m the sort of person who stick rigidly by guidelines and rules and I get distressed if others don’t (which is a whole different issue). The NHS guidelines say babies are ready for food at 6 months when they can sit independently. My baby is 6 months but won’t eat and can’t sit independently. And I feel like he should be doing those things or else the guidelines wouldn’t say that.

OP posts:

Thesearmsofmine · 07/08/2018 15:16

Has your baby read the guidelines? nope! They are just a guide not the rules.

delphguelph · 07/08/2018 15:17

Sod the bloody guidelines.

6 months old!

Chill, baby, chill.

Reiltin · 07/08/2018 15:19

‘Food is fun til one.’ Keep offering it. He’ll take it when he’s ready. Don’t be so hard on yourself 😊

QueenAravisOfArchenland · 07/08/2018 15:19

Look, take him to the HV or the GP if you like, but if they have half a clue they'll tell you the exact same thing we are. Babies develop at different rates. Weaning is a gradual process from six months, and many many babies don't really eat at all for the first two or three months. The NHS guidelines are about babies being ready to start trying food right now, not about it being necessary for them to be gulping it down. Of course they won't be, because learning is always slow and gradual. If your baby has generally met milestones so far they'll sit and eat when they're ready, soon.

There is literally no problem with your baby. The problem is with your anxiety, and if it's causing you this much difficulty then you probably need to seek some help now, because you've many years of raising a child who isn't a textbook (because no child is) to come.

Branleuse · 07/08/2018 15:21

i think you need a different health visitor. Thinking back I do remember one health visitor trying to stress me about it at the time, and i told a different health visitor, who then complained about the first one. Some health visitors should be struck off tbh. They panic mothers when theres no reason to. You cant force feed him can you, so all you can do is wait. Nothing bad is going to happen. There is loads of iron in milk.

SoyDora · 07/08/2018 15:22

I’m the sort of person who stick rigidly by guidelines and rules and I get distressed if others don’t
That’s exactly the point, they’re guidelines not rules. Surely it distresses you that friend’s babies were weaned before 6 months?
At 6 months you are advised to start weaning. It’s a process. This does not mean that your child should be eating everything you feed them at 6 months.
Many people have told you on this thread of their healthy children who didn’t start eating until much later, does that not reassure you?

Clutterbugsmum · 07/08/2018 15:22

you need to relax a bit these are guide line only.

My dd1 didn't eat much if anything until she was about a year.

DD2 grab garlic bread at 19 weeks and ate it so we weened her then. Not because it was oh she eating food lets ween more a case of this is the first time she was 'eating' something because she was a nightmare to feed as she hates milk and she never had more then a 2oz at time and that would take 2/3 hours for her to take with us both in tears. It was just a relief for her to eat without creating.

DS he just ate what ever you gave him.

All bought up the same but all very different.

SoyDora · 07/08/2018 15:26

Also, if you expect your child to reach every single milestone at the exact time the books/guidelines say so, parenting really is going to be a stressful journey for you.

schopenhauer · 07/08/2018 15:27

Dd1 absolutely loved food at 5 months. Dd2 no interest until 8 months really. Literally doesn’t matter. The thing about iron isn’t really the case because no babies at 6months are going to be eating steak and broccoli at every meal are they? I would be more worried about 3 month olds being weaned too early. Just keep offering him food and he will get there without a doubt. I would offer grim finger food personally. Mine did actually like broccoli (not anymore), steamed carrots, sweet potatoes, lettuce!, banana, soft fruits like plums and then a bit later thing like roast chicken, soft fish eg cod. 6 months is super young and if breastfed he will get all he needs from you.

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