At my wits end with 6mo not wanting food

[LlamaPyjamas]

Been weaning for a few weeks and DS (6 months old) still shows no interest in eating. He won’t open his mouth for the spoon. When I touch the spoon to his lips he goes Ppfftt! and blows a raspberry. If I manage to get any food in his mouth he blows it out, and if it’s not completely smooth he gags (went purple choking on soft porridge). I feel like I’m force feeding him! He is eating precisely zero food except for yogurt. He will happily open his mouth for plain yogurt so he obviously knows what he’s supposed to do!

I’ve tried BLW but he doesn’t even attempt to put the chunks in his mouth, he just throws them on the floor. And tbh it feels unsafe giving him chunks anyway.

Last week I gave him a sliced omelette and his cheeks swelled up red with white lumps. So he is obviously allergic to egg. We’re now waiting for a referral to the hospital allergy clinic and I’ve been advised to avoid allergens and only feed foods I already know are safe. Which makes an already bad situation even worse.

Friends’ babies (some only 3-4 months old) are happily opening their mouths like baby birds and stuffing themselves with finger food, and their mums are proudly telling me how much their babies enjoy their food. I feel like a failure and I’m worried there’s something wrong with my child.

Oh also do try to relax or he will pick up the tension around meals and that may put him off more.

Bloody hell Op. You may be a stickler for guidelines and rules......but your baby is, like, a human being with their own way of doing things! Your baby will decide when and what he eats!

You can’t firce your child to eat and you can’t force them to sleep. All you can do is create and environment that’s conducive to these things happening.

Also, you need to relax. You’re going to drive yourself mental, and risk damaging your child, if you continue like this. Kids don’t follow rules, that’s parenting 101!

If he's not sitting up then he's not ready for food! He needs to be 6m+, sitting up and able to bring his hands to his mouth purposefully. Wait until you get all 3 together then give things another go.

Do not read baby books - do not look on the internet - do not stick to rigid timetables - do not compare your child with anyone else's.

Do enjoy BFing your baby - do relax - do ignore what other mothers say - do cuddle him.

This little creature you have in your home did not exist just over a year ago - zilch - nothing! And that short time later you are expecting to conform to some standards that you have gleaned from who knows where!

It is your job to stick up for him as an individual, with his own quirks and foibles.

He will not be wanting BFing when he is 16! - he has loads of time to get into solid food - he is not running a race!

It sounds to me as if his instinct is to steer clear of this stuff, given what happened when he had some egg. He is a wise wee man.

Chill - really just chill. Forget the whole thing for another 6 weeks then try again. You "feel like you are force feeding him" - you are!!!

If the HV seriously thinks he could become iron deficient then she can supply relevant drops.It is more important that you have a relaxed and happy time with him.

It can all be such fun - don't wreck it by worrying about something that does not require worrying about! Just enjoyhim!

Probably time to try worrying less about the rules and guidelines! Babies don't work like that.

HV also vary hugely from individual to individual and which trust they work for. What they say isn't gospel, apply your own common sense and knowledge of your child. You know your baby best. Milk is what he needs, he is experimenting with food.

I have three DC. My youngest didnt eat solids until he was ten months. It didnt do hom any harm.

HVs can be a mixed blessing. One of my children was born during a heatwave much like this year's. The blooming HV kept saying I should be giving her water as well as breast milk. I was drinking gallons; baby was feeding loads, and what is more my OH was a doctor and would I think have noticed if she was dehydrated!!

I used to groan every time the HV's car appeared.

I've just posted similar, OP.
Sitting independently isn't linked to being developmentally ready for food - it's just that they need to be sat upright for eating (so not reclined on a bouncer etc). They can be sat on your lap or as mine is, wedged in the ikea highchair with insert. It's so they can lean forward to dribble out food if choking.

I would give it a whole month and try again.

If your concerned about the iron, there are infant supliments.
Speak to your gp about your anxiety and the baby’s development. Sounds like professional help will be better for you than MN.

Neither of my DC ate at 6mo. DD was about 7mo and DS has only just got going at 9mo - he's on 95th percentile for height and weight!

Also, Both my babies took ages to sit independently and could in fact crawl before they could sit.

You really need to let go of the guidelines. They all work on different timelines - the guidelines probably give an average. The 3 and 4mo have perhaps had food shovelled into their mouths before they developed the ability to blow raspberries and bat away the spoon!

You really need to relax a little. My daughter took ages to start eating anything and even then it had to be 100% smooth until about 10 months. She's 2 and sat on my lap snacking on an ellas's peas pouch - we're letting her eat up the remaining ones then not buying any more. I get why you're frustrated - I felt the same as my friends babies all seemed to do the open wide Mouth thing and grab any food in reaching distance. Be patient and don't force it. My daughter seemed to be a bit better when we left her to it ie didn't sit opposite her staring at her, but pretended to be busying around the kitchen or whatever.

You need to try to relax about this. Food at 6 months is a learning activity and nothing more.

I have linked below to th e NHS guidance, I have also direct copy and paste some of the key sentences.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/solid-foods-weaning/

"Introducing your baby to solid foods – sometimes called weaning or complementary feeding – should start when your baby is around 6 months old. "

so not 6 months on the dot

"
Try not to worry about how much your baby eats at first. There will be some days when your baby eats more and others when they eat less, and they may reject some foods completely.

Don't be put off. All babies are different, and some learn to accept new foods and textures more quickly than others. "

"
Keep offering different foods, including foods your baby has rejected before. It can take lots of tries before your baby will accept a new food or texture. "

Food for fun until they're one. Since my health visitor told me that it's made me much more relaxed with babies 3 and 4. My youngest is 16 months and still the main part of her diet is breast milk. She's teething at the moment and some days doesn't want any solids at all

Ds hardly ate at all until he was 15 months. Now a strapping 3 year old who will eat anything!

Hi Op,
I think you've had really sensible advice here and honestly don't worry. I'm a FTM with a DD who will be 1 yr in less than a month and she hasn't actually eaten a meal yet, she's been on 3 meals a day since 7 months and a combination of spoon feeding with BLW, mostly BLW now.

I've posted here a recently as was worrying but in fairness I've been going a solid 5 months with little success, I can honestly say I was no way worrying at 6 months and what little food was consumed in the early days most of it just came back out of her mouth and still does.
My little one is only wee on the 8th percentile dropping from the 50th but this has been gradually and HV's are overly worried as she's a completely happy baby plus has settled on a line so more likely just a petite lady.
From what you've said I can't actually think why you are worried, your little one seems to be doing great. I think you need to focus on what he's DOING at meal times:
ie loves Greek yogurt,
has sat in the high chair for a period of time,
has tried one new thing rather than what he's NOT doing.

Comparing your child just takes away any enjoyment in raising them, and yes it's hard for me with a small baby and friends babies eating 3 meals, snacks and have cut their milk feeds back so much that they are pretty much weaned by 1yrs. However, I have a little one who doesn't have a big appetite but will try such a range of foods even spicy and she generally enjoys the process however is not ready to eat properly yet and that's fine, I'm accepting that now. I'm also well aware it's easy to create anxiety around meal times if you are not careful - try and keep it relaxed as all babies are different and they all get there eventually x

I suspect it could be your anxiety that’s making a challenging new experience really stressful for everyone. You need to relax, sit on your hands and not even worry about it unless it’s still like this at a year.

I never spoon fed mine but everything else you describe sounds totally normal for 6 months. Mine tossed everything on the floor the first few weeks and also couldn’t sit up well (the two are probably related to be fair). At 10 months, she started shovelling in adult sized portions and she’s always eaten well since. She’s 5 now and strangers actually come up to us in restaurants and comment on how well she eats and all the weird adventurous stuff she eats. I really do believe it’s because we gave her time to figure it out on her own and didn’t make meal times stressful. I have friends who panicked at every meal with their dd, same age as mine, force fed her, hovered over her, etc. At 5 she’s a very nervous eater with a very narrow range of foods she’ll eat. I can’t help but think it’s because meal times have been so intense and pressured in her house.

Just continue bf on demand, make sure you’re taking vitamins and start offering a baby vitamin if you feel you need to. You’ll be amazed how much things have changed 4 months from now.

I am also with everyone else on this. Really don’t worry. My daughters little one is 8 1/2 months, isn’t interested in purees and has only just started showing interest in finger foods. Health Visitor was far from concerned as her weight gain and growth is steady and she said the little one would let us know when she was ready. Indeed she did by mimicking us eating (copying our chomping with her mouth) and starting to lunge for our food.

We have now bought her a Nuby net which has allowed her to enjoy certain foods that may present a choking hazard. But ultimately she was far from interested in any food at all at 6 months. Now we just put finger food on her high chair tray, if she plays with it then she plays with it, if she eats it she eats it.

I’d leave it for a bit like another poster said.

@LlamaPyjamas I understand and share your worries- re iron. I have read that this food before one is just for fun is actually nonsense and babies need iron for brain development etc.

I think what you need to remember though is there's very few babies eating anything with large amounts of iron in. If it was a massive problem all babies (near enough) would have problems with brain development, and they don't! I agree- your friends are probably liars! My baby was keen to wolf down baby porridge at 5 monts- won't touch it now- 7 months.

We did BLW from 6 months and most food got chucked on the floor until he was about 10 months old. He really only got into food after that. He's now 2 and eats better than friends who were more enthusiastic about solids at 6 months. Just relax and think long term!