Can we clear up once and for all whether you are 'allowed' to mention the possibility of spoon feeding on a BLW thread?

[Enid]

If the consensus is no, then I will happily bow out of any thread asking for advice on weaning, specifically BLW.

I always say that IMO it is fine to do both - ie a mixture of finger foods and spoon feeding.

Surely this cannot be in any way controversial?

Not aimed at you obviously tracycee.

More the general madness.

People get a grip.

agree with that - but for the reasons outlined below- do think its very important that someone like Enid is able to come onto a thread and say - if you child isn't eating at all, then try a spoon with them. I know most people on mumsnet won't know a single child like my son- but I know many, they are out there, and therefore there has to be an understanding from the BLWner that there will be children it will not work for, and there is a time to say- shovel it in.

BizzyDint, it's not "i'm vegan mixed with a little meat eating" at all because it is entirely possible for a baby to have a BLW meal and be spoonfed porridge. It's all still true to the ethos because (well, in our house) the spoon of porridge is offered, there to be taken or not. Spoonfeeding isn't all "Choo choo! Open your mouth for the train..... Good Girl! Here comes another train...". A spoon doesn't equal force feeding, it's just a different delivery system.

Saying "Oh you can't say you're doing a mix of BLW and spoons" smacks of elitism. I don't care how anyone else weans their child or what they call it so I'll call "how" I'm weaning my child whatever description fits best. It's all lead by her anyway.

traycee, it sounds like you have had a really rough time. But hopefully if someone is reading these posts and reads yours, they might see some similarities with their DC and learn from that.

What I am saying, in a convoluted fashion, that although you don't BLW, your viewpoint is valid to BLW threads. Does that make sense?

I didn't have a rough time at all because way back then ds1 loved eating and would happily eat anything shovelled into him. he was just so passive he would never had sought it out. I had no idea hand over hand wasn't a normal method of teaching a child to eat finger foods or drink from a cup. Was utterly amazed when ds2 just picked up a cup and drank from it at 6 months. So amazed I rang dh at work to tell him.

actually I wouldn't say that comment is smug, tbh. I would say that the parent is just pleased with her choices.

Oh I see, I thought you struggled to get your DS to eat. Sorry. I still think it's an interesting experience, worth recounting.

that came later!- with BLW he wouldn't have eaten at all- spoon or no spoon. Having food shovelled in him (no need for encouragement- he just opened him mouth) he ate extremely well.

I agree that there is this general impression given that BLW works for all babies. And it doesn't. And there's nothing wrong with that at all except for the feeling that you are given that you will somehow damage your child if you use a spoon or that you are cooercing them into doing something. Both are pretty much entirely down to the name which implies elitism and that it is the way your baby wants to be weaned. I honestly think that if it had a less "reactionary" name there would be less conflict. Imagine if breastfeeding was actlauuy named and referred to every time it was mentioned as "perfectfeeding". I mean peoiple already get annoyed with the Breast is Best messzge, imagine if everytime PerfectFeeding was mentioned it made you feel completely imperfect. But there's not a lot you can do about the name now really.

I'm not and never have been anti-BLW - it's great if it works. I've always been anti the name because it was apparant that this was not the way BabyDragon planned on being weaned. It made me want to shout out to all who, in my imagination, may sneer from the safety of their sandwich eating child "But she wants to eat this from a sodding spoon! The contrary little madame won't feed herself!".

I agree with harpsi, there is a difference between pleased/thrilled/excited and "smug". It's such a nasty pejorative term, the way it's used here. Yes, I am chuffed to bits that my child just tucks into a plate of food in a restauurant. Am I smug? No. I didn't invent BLW, I learned it (mostly from Aitch) so why should I be smug?

does it make em less fussy the little weevils?
i woudl liek a perfect way of feeding that makes kdis want ot eat sprouts

( alhto ds2 does)

sprouts are the devil's farts made solid.

FACT.

love em

anway
dos it make em less fussy
enver mind abotu he fakring sppon

LOl at "little weevils" COd - too true.

I daren't really ask this but when did BLW become a recognised/recommended 'thing' (sorry can't think of right word)? - DS1 is 5 and I'd never heard of it until a few days ago.

katie hows your baby?

The smugness comes when your thrilled/excitedness is compared to those perceived to not be doing so well.

which soupdargons example illustrated. In that example there was an implied superiorty in the mothers statement.

why am I commenting on a 'can you use a spoon' thread??

I need to get a grip!!

Enid - either you have seen this and are taking the pee or you haven't seen it - in which case - relentlessly draining - any thoughts very welcome.

katie, search for Gill Rapley at unicef - it's from her masters. Aitch's blog - www.babyledweaning.com - has all the info

ta. Is it quite well known then or still a relatively new concept?

Katie - I first heard about it when DS was coming up on 6 months...so around winter 2004/5. The yahoo group had just been set up so I dont think it hadnt been around for very long before that.

I reckon any sort of evangelism (zealous/extreme entusiasm ) on any topic is in danger of coming across as smugness or judgemental, and likely to get on peoples tits to some degree.

from BLW, breastfeeding, christianity to your new new dyson.

If you have new dyson you think is fab and you are so excited by it you go on about it's greatness, you will make you friend feel that you are implying criticism of her bog standard hoover and she will think you 'smug.'

We are all guilty of it at differnt times, and should be wary and qualify our enthusiasm with statements such as

'but hoovers can be very good too, and are equally valid vacuunimg tools.'

to avoid the smug label.

I did find the comment from gill rapley possibly a little over enthusiastic when she said that the ideas weren't new but she was the first person in more than 50 years to put them together

not sure what she meant
other than she wrote down what people were often doing anyway themselves

Enid, I am sorry. I have emailed you.

Can we just come up with a new name for BLW, please?

I agree that if breastfeeding was called perfectfeeding it would be shit too.

wow!!! i just looked on the weaning thing to see if anything interesting is on and cannot beleive how long this thread is - is it a world record? I looked coz i have just started weaning my boy in what is known as the spoon way and thought there might be some nice gentle thread to tap into to show my pleasure - its going very well thanks!

Policywonk, on the issue of China, here are some links for you to look at.

Good Rock

British Medical Journal

BBC In this one, dated Sept 2007, the Chinese government have rejected calls for them to relax the one-child policy and have even declared it a success!