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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

Original poster

Can we clear up once and for all whether you are 'allowed' to mention the possibility of spoon feeding on a BLW thread?

376 replies

Enid · 22/03/2007 11:36

If the consensus is no, then I will happily bow out of any thread asking for advice on weaning, specifically BLW.

I always say that IMO it is fine to do both - ie a mixture of finger foods and spoon feeding.

Surely this cannot be in any way controversial?

OP posts:
fflibble · 22/03/2007 20:52

I don't think there's any reason why weaning in a way that's led by the baby (or even BLW ) would lead to a poor diet, at all.

The way it's talked about is another issue... but I don't see why it should mean less food or worse food. The idea that a baby should regulate their own appetite is one of the reasons why breastfeeding's considered good.

I've also had good experiences with the NCT, and I'm a bit suspicious of 'they made women feel guilty' idea as I'm quite suspicious of the whole idea of things that 'make people feel guilty' in general (it usually seems to be a bit of a shoot the messenger type thing).

I think the ideas behind the 'BLW' talked about here are fine, I've no problem with them (a lot of them are very traditional anyway!), although I do get irritated by the way it's talked about and the whole 'are you doing it properly' thing, but that's a separate issue.

I'm a few months off weaning my next but will be letting him lead the way a lot, probably a bit more than I did with my first. Whether I'll be doing so enough to qualify as a 'BLWer' I neither know nor care - the main thing is I'll be doing so enough to make me feel he's getting the best from his food and will have a good attitude to it in future life.

GingGangGooley · 22/03/2007 20:53

Oneupmanship?!?! I talk about BLW to other mums because they ask for help. I share my experience because it has been a good one and I have seen that it works.

I have never ever said that puree feeding is wrong as I did so with my son.

BLW was a revelation to me and amazes me everyday with my dd, so yes i talk about it and sometimes i get rather evangilistic about it because I want to share what a great thing it is. I don't beat anyone down because they don't do it... what would the point in that be?

Sorry was that choking or gagging on tomato/cucumber/carrot when not pureed?

Original poster
Enid · 22/03/2007 20:54

mmm divorcee you've lost me a bit I must say

ANd another thing...If your baby is formula fed, why would you want to keep taht as their main source of nourishment for 6 months longer than you have to?

I think formula is pretty crap - have you tasted how SWEET it is for a start - so I'd rather feed dd3 on luverly homemade and homegrown stuff, mashed and on a spoon if necessary, rather than keep giving her more crappy milk full of vegetable oil and sugary stuff.

OP posts:
Original poster
Enid · 22/03/2007 20:56

"I think the ideas behind the 'BLW' talked about here are fine, I've no problem with them (a lot of them are very traditional anyway!), although I do get irritated by the way it's talked about and the whole 'are you doing it properly' thing, but that's a separate issue."

nooooooooo its not fliblble (good post btw) its not a seperate issue it is what I was originally talking about

OP posts:
fflibble · 22/03/2007 20:59

Sorry, I meant that for me the issue of how it's talked about is a separate issue from the issue of whether or not it's a good/safe way of weaning. Not that it's a separate issue from what the thread's about.

zebedeee · 22/03/2007 20:59

"The study babies were able to attend a picnic at 8-9 months. They ate pizza and sandwiches while the other babies had to put up with babyfood from jars. The other mothers, who had been sceptical about the study, were envious of the study babies? independence and dexterity!" - this is part of a summary of Rapley's study. It's loaded with language of oneupmanship and smugness. Makes me wonder what did Rapley allow the other (5?) non-BLW babies eat for the study. Were they not allowed to be offered any finger foods at all? (And if not, delaying their development) Because even following Annabel Karmel finger foods are introduced at 6 months.

CODalmighty · 22/03/2007 21:00

KID EATS LUMP OF FOOD

will nto make them einstein
get OVER yourselves

Original poster
Enid · 22/03/2007 21:00

yes you have to admit that is f*cking smug

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 22/03/2007 21:01

thats what made me laugh

Traycee · 22/03/2007 21:17

worry a bit about the idea of having a system with rules to feed a baby. BLW sounds like the sort of thing I would have been well into with ds1 (was doing an earth mother attachment parent type thing with him). And he would never have eaten. I didn't know at 6 months that he has severe special needs (severe learning disabilites). He couldn't imitate then- he;s only just learned to aged 7, so he would have sat in front of his food and done aboslutely nothing. And I would have thought he wasn't ready etc etc. At 18 months I had to teach him to drink from a lidded beaker, I had to stand behind him and hold his hands to the cup and tip it for a week before he understood thaty. I had to teach him using the same method (hand over hand) to finger feed himself. BLW would have been positively dangerous. And of course very few people will be in my position, but there may be some - I had no way of knowing the extent of his learning disability- it wasn't picked up at all until he was 3.

So I'm all for get the food in any way you want, but making a system about it will be potnetially dangerous for some- if as Enid says feeding with a spoon is set up as some sort of failure, and a mother is desperate to be a BLWeaner.

GingGangGooley · 22/03/2007 21:18

But just because you read that as smug, does not mean that everyone that decides to take the blw route is also said smuggy (incidently i also find it amusing!)

Some maybe but not all. Also aren't there smuggys in all walks of parenting decisions? Doesn't mean each mum should be tarred with the same brush does it?

Original poster
Enid · 22/03/2007 21:19

I agree of course it doesnt make all blw'nrs smug

but it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO smug though

OP posts:
Traycee · 22/03/2007 21:20

fflibble it would have been dangerous for ds1- but only know that with hindsight.

PMSL @ the study btw. They must all have been firstborns. Ds3 was eating pizza from as soon as he could move and grab it.

kels666 · 22/03/2007 21:32

Yes, that's what gets me, the smugness. My dd ate a slice of pizza at 6 mths. Today, I caught my ds (8mths) face down gnawing on his sister's discarded pear, complete with skin. It really isn't anything to boast about, just because your baby can eat a rice cake at 6 mths

TeeCee · 22/03/2007 21:43

oh MY GOD! PMSL. You've all gone mad.

Let the people who don't use spoons live peacefully amongst those that do.

No smuggness, no right, no wrong, just happy kids, happy parents, no???????

My DD ate her own poo btw, she didn't use a spoon, she just picked it up and ate it, with her hands, her poo

Isn't it cold for this time of year?

littleEasterlapin · 22/03/2007 21:56

Do you know what - there is BLW, where you take the time to set up a blog, and post regularly, and collate recipes from other mums, and you post on Mumsnet in response to questions from other mothers, often directed directly at you...

or there is blw, which is just you and your own child, and no-one cares if you occasionally use a spoon because, lets face it, no-one knows unless you come on MN and mention it...

or there is the third way, where you try and cause conflict, and you throw around the word "failure" and you scare off first time mums who are genuinely looking for help and now feel that they are being asked to join a cult.

Original poster
Enid · 22/03/2007 22:43

I dont think anyone wants to cause conflict

its all been quite intersting so far

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 22/03/2007 23:34

Smug: jars are abusive. No?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 23/03/2007 00:00

"ANd another thing...If your baby is formula fed, why would you want to keep taht as their main source of nourishment for 6 months longer than you have to? "

Because all experts recommend that milk (formula or breast) should be the main source of nutrition for the first 12 months - formula is a good enough substitute for those who dont/cant b/feed - you know this enid.

"I think formula is pretty crap - have you tasted how SWEET it is for a start - so I'd rather feed dd3 on luverly homemade and homegrown stuff, mashed and on a spoon if necessary, rather than keep giving her more crappy milk full of vegetable oil and sugary stuff. "

Contentious, and smug - all in one go - if you are being serious.

divorcee · 23/03/2007 00:19

NCT not a myth, find an older parent to let you know how it was

BLW not bad in every sense, just taking advantage annd catching up with the natural development, people preaching it makes it wrong, as does advice about slow growing infants and food for fun theory.

And professor of paediatrics, specialising in nutrition for 10 years and mixed private ed psyche for 8, nonsense? Of course

zippitippitoes · 23/03/2007 07:21

I don't have to find a parent to ask about the nct in the 80s I know people liked it and found it a great source of info and friendships and a lot of the things taken for granted now were partly as a result of the ncts bringing together of lots of parents who discovered new ideas

the fact that it continues to thrive is testament to that

when people make spurious claims about the nct damaging people it does call into question their other views...perhasps an axe to grind somewhere

Original poster
Enid · 23/03/2007 09:38

aha I think you'll find I never once said I was not smug [smug]

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 23/03/2007 09:40

if baby likes spoons as well as his finger food then logically it is still blw

tiktok · 23/03/2007 09:51

Phew...what a load of rubbish on here!
Divorcee - very few people in the 70s and 80s had even heard of NCT compared to today. The organisation today is still very small, though it certainly punches above its weight. I don't know who you are mixing with/mixed with, but to imply that nationwide feelings of 'guilt' in the 70s and 80s are to be laid at the door of NCT is crazy.

'Guilt' is often an inaccurate term for 'regret' - something happened/didn't happen which you are sad about, you then blame yourself (as women and mothers do) and then you blame an idea (or an organisation) that showed what you regret may not have been inevitable.

I see no 'preaching' about BLW here - there are mothers who have bothered to offer support and information to people who ask, who have set up blogs in their own time and for no remuneration at all, and who take a real joy in allowing people to share experiences. It is a joy to see a baby manage a stick of broccoli all by himself - it's fun to see the learning going on, and the increasing skill, when a baby feeds himself. It's actually got very little to do with the nutritional difference between the broccoli in its whole state and its pureed state.

Enid, you come very close to trolling in your comments, and your description of formula is hurtful and offensive to people who read this and might have used formula with a heavy heart...

hunkermunker · 23/03/2007 10:23

Enid, you're just annoyed because you see BLW as something that you didn't "attain" and you want to be Top Of The Tree In Weaning Land. It seems you see it as a hierarchy - BLW, homecooked mush and finger food, jars. You were doing well being smugtastic on the top rung till you were knocked off your perch by the "smug BLWers" who are no such thing, it's in your head.

And your comments about formula are pissy.