Can we clear up once and for all whether you are 'allowed' to mention the possibility of spoon feeding on a BLW thread?

[Enid]

If the consensus is no, then I will happily bow out of any thread asking for advice on weaning, specifically BLW.

I always say that IMO it is fine to do both - ie a mixture of finger foods and spoon feeding.

Surely this cannot be in any way controversial?

And as for women being 'made' to feel worried about baby-led weaning....look at the threads in this folder if you want to see women feeling worried about amounts/texture/taste/seasoning, including someone posting about exactly how smoothly to puree carrots for a 5.5 month old

This is not to criticise mothers for worrying about things like this - we're mothers, it's our job to worry, FGS - but to point out that one virtue of allowing the baby to mamage his own food and his own intake is that it takes some of that type of worry away

tiktok I think your words about guilt/regret are very well put. I think those sentiments apply to lots of things in parenting.

DS says to tell you you are all bonkers, and he doesn't care what it's called, but he had some very nice toast with banana this morning, and he is storing some banana behind his ear for later.

I think the banana really suits him, lapin I may adopt this style for myself.

And ta, harpsi :0

have the numbers in the nct gone up alot then?

I didn't realise it was small int he 80s..i didn't get the impression it had changed nuch here they still seem to send out the same sort of number of local newsletters

I enjoy a good robust debate and I see this as a good place to do it. I think BLW is a great concept in parts, but I have always said that people should approach it with an open mind and would like to be able to remind people that they can spoon feed if they wish.

Hunker - as for not 'attaining' BLW - well you will have to take that up with dd3! She was the one who didn't 'attain' it - she enjoyed being spoon fed! What you have insinuated is pathetic - luckily I am not too hurt by it as I can see it is a frustrated and cross post with not much substance behind it.

I apologise if I upset anyone by saying formula was crap. I PERSONALLY feel (rightly or wrongly) that making dd3 homecooked healthy mush is preferable to upping formula feeds after 6 months (I don't breastfeed). Sorry.

zippi - I think membership is over 60,000, which is probably something like 6 times what it was in the 70s and 80s, maybe more.

Lots of people used NCT services and were even quite active in those days, without actually being national members - there were even 'local' and 'national' options to join for a while.

oh quite exclusive then

hey, anyone want a BLW mug ? or a No Spoons one?

Enid, it was frustration, but I don't think it's entirely unfounded either. You post about BLW in a snidey way fairly often, IMO.

I'm sorry if that upsets you though.

Would I have any takers for a mug?

Hey! a sMug! Genius!

Fine. next time someone posts saying that their 7 month old baby has stopped feeding themselves and should they spoon feed, and the answers include a suggestion that the OP should starve their baby until they start to feed themselves again, I'll try very hard to keep my snidey mouth shut.

well then let's clear up once and for all whether you are 'allowed' to mention the possibility of spoon feeding on a BLW thread, Enid. you are, and you are more than welcome to do so, as yours is an utterly valid postion. As was clarified right at the beginning of this thread.

if you mention the possibility of 'mixing BLW and purees/spoon feeding', however, it's likely that someone will come along and point out the contradiction in terms. and you know what happens after than... you start another thread and cause a lot of confusion and unnecessary bad feeling. but then you do like a debate.

(btw, a debate rather requires an 'us and them' attritional relationship. and you know, until you started all this talk of 'failing' at BLW there really wasn't one on MN between puree-feeders and BLWers. nor shoudl there be, given that good recipes for finger food benefit everyone. so thanks for that.)

Enid, when did someone suggest starving the baby? (genuine question, could you reference the thread please I missed it)

oh FFS enid. that has been explained to you countless times. the baby was drinking limitless milk, not being starved. MILK! primary source of nutrition for babies!
and the baby as i recall had been eating fine and had then gone off it, so was probably teething. my dd still goes off everything except pasta, soft veggies and milk when she's teething and she's 15 months.

Enid- please do mention it because ds1 would have starved himself if I'd stuck rigidly to BLW!

I cant find the thread, sorry

'"smug BLWers" who are no such thing' ?

So I've imagined the "my baby sat there and ate a whole sandwich whilst a 14 month old sat nearby and was fed puree from a jar" type comments. And there have been several. Smugtastic.

i've looked for that thread and not found it, LL. there wasn't anything particularly unusual in it as a search word. even 'starve' and 'starving' don't bring it up...

aitch dont be a bully. It is not, and has never been, my intention to single handedly bring down BLW discussions on mumsnet. It is not soley down to me that this thread has a gazillion posts.

traycee, was it you who said that your son had learning difficulties as-yet undiagnosed at the weaning stage? i don't really understand about his weaning, though, were you cutting back on his milk? was he losing weight, becoming ill? did you take him to the doctor?

how dare you call me a bully, enid? that is such an unbelievably nasty and unwarranted thing to say. i can't be bothered with this any more. you fucking have me in tears now, well done. and don't say i shouldn't take that personally, cos how could i not?

Unreservedly apologising here aitch. I am sorry it was a horrible thing to say. I think this has all got totally out of hand and I am sorry. I did feel bullied by a combo of you and hunker but I know you didn't mean to make me feel that bad. I have CAT'd you.

he had no ability to imitate, but I didn't realise he had no ability to imitate. I didn't realise that children usually just copy what you do, I had no idea he had any problems at all (and he was being checked regularly). If I had put food in front of him and left him to help himself he wouldn't have, because he wouldn't have understood what to do with it. Me, sitting eating in front of him would have meant nothing to him in relation to the food in front of him. So he was weaned (at 4 months as was standard then), and understood what to do becuase he only had to passively receive, not actively take (which he was incapable of). When we introduced finger foods 2 months later I had to hold his hand, open it, place it round his food and then move his hand, cradled in mine to his mouth. I had to do that for over a week before he understood the concept of finger feeding. Introducing drining from a beaker had to be done in the same way when he was 18 months- hand over hand. Before then he had his water tipped into his mouth by me. Even at 18 months- having had a beaker tipped into him from 6 months - he still needed almost a week of hand over hand before he understood he could do it independently.

I worry that there may be a mother out there - with a child like mine- who decides to give BLW a go- because it will not work. If you have a child who cannot imitate, or learn by imitation- it will not work. And these children do not have obvious SN at such a young age. I was repeatedly told there was nothing wrong with him (I started getting concerned after 18 months).

Dear God.