Weaning advice from HV - seem about right?

[SharkSkinThing]

Hope someone can help - not to demonise HV's, but I often get get conflicting/slightly draconian advice from them!

DS is 7.5 months old, EBF, on solids from around 5 months. Is now eating three good sized meals day, finger feeds beautifully and will polish off 1.5 jars of food plus snacks a day.

Milks feeds generally go:

5am
10am
3pm
6.30pm
11pm ff

• one bf around 3am but we won't go there, I'm trying to get him off that!

HV says I could easily lose the 10am and 3pm feeds if he's having loads of food and dairy (he is), by just offering snacks and/or a bit of ff in a cup. He drinks water from a sippy cup no problem.

I'm happy to keep bf for another month or so, but if DS is moving himself away from the day time feeds, or I think I could easily give him something else, should I follow his lead?

HV said so long as he's having up to a pint of milk a day that's fine. The important feeds are the morning and evening ones.

Any other experiences of how I go about this?

I'd leave him to it - he'll soon drop a feed when he doesn't need it anymore. FWIW, ds didn't drop a feed till 9 months even though he was a big eater. After all, you want him to get all his calories in the day, not the night !

If it was me I'd try and drop the night feeds instead... but in terms of number of feeds it sounds about right. DD is 8.5 months and is bf at 6am, 11am and 3pm , plus a bottle of formula at 6.30pm. I'm looking to drop one of the daytime feeds in the next week as well as she doesn't really take that much.

I'd suggest you drop one feed and see how you get on rather than trying to drop two in one go.

I'm with the others too - I agree with dropping a feed or two judging by how much he's eating, but I'd drop the 11pm and 3am (if you can!). I would definitely keep the 5am and 6:30pm feeds too, but you could also consider a BF just after lunchtime as a middle of the day feed, rather than a mid-morning AND a mid-afternoon feed.

I seem to recall (and it's really hazy, so sorry if I'm mistaken!) that this is what we did with DS.

I have no idea why your HV would recommend dropping a breastfeed and then giving formula, if you're happy to carry on breastfeeding.

I think you need to drop feeds one at a time to give both you and DS time to adjust, so I would start by dropping whichever one you find least convenient (3am I should think!) and go from there gradually.

Or if you think he doesn't seem interested in the daytime feeds as much any more, then try not offering and see if he asks, or if he's happy with just some water and a snack.

HTH

What I found with my dd was that she dropped them on her own...she suddenly started taking more solids at the right time and the milky day feeds dropped on their own...it was abt 8m or so. I really feel it is easier on all concerned if they are allowd to follow their own tummies until they are really old enough that you can start explaining that we eat at certain times (and they can understand it). Plus every child is different in their dietary needs, and while generally the information is correct/good given by the HV, only the child (and you as the parent by carefully watching for cause and effect) will know if that general information will work for your child, or if you need more or less than what is suggested.

If you want to actively drop a feed...One of the things to do is simply not offer at those times and see if they notice. Sometimes they do, other times not. Be prepared for tears if they don't want to give it up, but you really want them to all the same. (but you expect that I'm sure)
best of luck

Oh, yes, good point - day time calories are the key, that's true.

I've tried feeding him directly after lunch, but he just brings it up - I think he's too fill, so I guess he's being quite smart in spacing the feeds out.

The night feeding is a bloody nightmare, but I'm just resigned to it at the moment. I think I can work on losing the 3am feed if only the teething would ease off - but until then, we're stuck, I think.

So thanks guys, I'll just leave him to it I think for another month, and focus on reducing at night, He is still so little (well, he's fecking huge, but you know what I mean!).

RJ - this is often my experience of HV's - what they advise and what is actually practical are often two very different things! I thinks she was saying it was ok to drop all feeds asides from the first thing/last thing ones. And offer a bit of ff in a cup inbetween. Getting shot of the 3am one would be bliss, happy to leave the 11pm ff for a bit and gradually reduce it when he's ready.

Good advice, too, Bebe - it's not so much that I'm actively wanting to drop, just trying to go with his flow. If he's spacing the feeds out and not really shouting for them, I'm just sort of taking advantage of that natural progression!

You watch - he'll breastfeed like a Trojan today!

Yeah Shark, Really is the easiest way I'd say take advantage...our last feed dropped in such a way...she stopped specifically asking for it. At first I still offered and then I stopped wondering what would happen. She'd take/ask for it occasionally (which was fine by me) and then it was gone and never asked for again.
(I too would try removing the 3am first off)
We removed ours by feeding every 2 hours in the evening 5,7,9,11... it went to 5am then which was fine because then she also went back to sleep for 2 hours after....

I spoke to a HV today about my DD who will be 8mo next week. DD is being sick quite a lot, usually about an hour after food. She currently has:

7am - wake up, 6oz formula
8am - breakfast of weetabix/ready brek
11am - 6oz formula
1pm - lunch, home made or a jar plus dessert
4pm - 6oz formula
5.30pm - finger food, bread/cheese/fruit etc
7pm - bed with 6oz formula
Sleep until 7am

The HV said that she is being sick because she is having too much milk, and if she is fully weaned and eating cheese, yogurt etc I should drop all but the morning and bedtime feeds.

If DDwas over a year, I would think that this would be OK, but at 8 months?

The HV said that she would automatically drink the milk for comfort, and not because she needs it....

Shark - I feel your pain!! The HV give out advice like it is gospel.... Should I take her advice or keep on with the milk??

Pumpkin- Is she 'fully weaned'?

I suppose if you're worried she's taking too much milk you can try dropping the amount you're giving her...maybe cut to 5oz a feed, then another then another and then cut to 4oz...etc until they're gone....but honestly that seems like a pittance amount of milk to me (I only use mL so I had to convert and that's a small beaker isn't it?)(but my dd drinks to save the country (and wets that way too).
Are you finding she throws up less after the 'real' food courses? Because if she is then perhaps...

Pumpkin - my DS is also a bit sick in the day, also an hour or so after eating - not a lot, but a reasonable amount.

I just thought it was his digestive system getting to grips with all of the new food. He's also been doing some shocking poo's, and for the first time ever, had a teeny bit of nappy rash.

So...ummm...I don't know, but funny we have the same issue! I just thought that milk was more important than food? But maybe they do only need those two feeds a day.

Perhaps someone more seasoned here can advise? I'll call the Milk Helpline tomorrow as well, and see what they say.

These crazy babies..

As a minimum a formula fed 6-12 month old should be getting 600ml/21oz of milk a day.

Obviously with a breastfed baby you can't tell how much milk they are getting in any one feed, so it's impossible to say they should have X number of feeds - easiest just to continue feeding on demand, though no harm in cutting night feeds of course.

Thanks, Rita - feel much better knowing that! :)

Rita - the HV said, as you say, that babies need a pint of milk a day (20oz), but that cheese, yogurt etc count as part of this??? But surely this is a "one size fits all" figure, and doesn't take into account individual baby's requirements.

Bebe - not really sure what the HV meant by "fully weaned". I assumed she meant 3 meals a day, which is what my DD has.

I think I am starting to read too much and listen to too many opinions. Perhaps the best way is to use my instincts and do what I think DD needs......

I think the pint a day is a minimum not a maximum - if your DD is happy and a healthy weight then continue as you are, I'm sure she will gradually reduce her milk intake as her food intake increases.

If you're concerned about overfeeding due to comfort sucking you could always just give her milk in a cup or beaker in the day.

i used to give mine some weetabix and a drink of milk late on and drop the night feed.

I agree with Rita. If there's concern about comfort drinking try offering a cup. I do this with dd now to help cut back.

And try not to worry. You're not starve them nor stuff them too much at this point... they're going to be going through lots of eating ups and downs as they go through more growth spurts and start being more active and even as their taste buds start changing and maturing so things start to taste different to them.

Pumpkin - my HV said 'up to a pint of day, any more and it interferes with the food' - my DS also only three quite large meals a day (he's almost finishing a large jar of food plus pudding at lunch and tea now). But it's not always easy to judge..

I'm trying to wean him off his 3/4am feed, so I'm not pushing him too hard in the day to drop as he needs the calories. I've set a target to be off the boob by the end of April, and I think we'll get there ok quite naturally.

Rita - that's a good tip about over-eating with the milk. We'll try that when I'm wanting to drop his morning feed (this is the one he's least interested in).

One weird question - he seems to be pooing for England! He has a very well-balanced diet, so is this pretty normal at this stage? The poos are a normal consistency! Sorry, awful question to ask!!

Thanks for such brilliant advice. xx

Shark - My DD is pooing for England too. I don't know where it comes from!! More seems to be coming out than goes in!! Normal consistency too, but you can tell what she had for dinner.......!! Looks like we are going through the same things.

I dropped a milk feed today - thought I'd see if the HV's advice worked, but she still threw up her lunch 1hr later, all down the shoulder of my new top while we were out! And she hadn't had milk for 5 hrs. So I don't think the milk is causing the vomiting. Back to the drawing board!!

Pumpkin - sorry to hear about the poo'ing! I'm actually concerned that DS may be having a reaction to the formula we've introduced at 11pm (to give me a break from bf and to see if we can wean him off the night feeds).

He's drinking around 4 - 5 ounces at this feed, and for the last 4 days has been poo'ing 4 - 5 times a day. As a result he has a very sore looking bottom, but he seems ok in himself.

I am worried we are causing him more harm than good now by doing this ff thing at night...

Try Metanium on his botton - my DD had horrid nappy rash after a bad tummy upset and it cleared it up really quickly (but is like cement!). Also Kamillosan is really good for regular use.

Unless he has an allergy, it is unlikely that the ff is doing him any harm. After all, thousands of babies survive perfectly well on it since birth. I've only just given up bfing - I was cutting down and introducing ff slowly, to give me a break from bfing once DD was 6 months, but had to stop completely when I caught her tummy bug.... and decided not to go back to bfing.

Bear in mind that he is eating three good meals and having finger food so a lot is going in, and has to come out! Give it a week and see what happens.

Have you considered just offering water at night rather than milk? He may not actually be hungry, and it is more habit. A few sips of water may be enough.

Good luck!

Hi Pumpkin.

It does make sense that the ff is just a new thing for him to get used to, and his bum does seem to be settling down. I've switched to first milk, I did wonder if the follow-on could be too rich.

Thank you for the cream tips - I'll pick some of those up if it doesn't improve with this milk. And you are so right - with all that food going in, it has to come out! Am sure it will even out eventually!

He's dropped a milk feed today - we're now down to three in the day and two at night (one ff, one bf). DP is going to try and dream feed him at 10.30pm, see if that pushes him to not waking until 4am. I always offer water to him, but he's not buying it - tbh, I'm ok to bf once in the night for a bit longer.

Are you feeling liberated having stopped bf? I'm glad I'm doing it, but want to stop at 9 months. I'm just toooo tired! And I want some wine!! xx

Hi Shark

Yes REALLY glad to have stopped bfing. I feel like I did the best for her for 6 months, but I needed a bit of me back. And a large glass of wine!! It also seems to have helped her be less clingy.

I think I might still be bfing if it hadn't been for the tummy bug I caught, but in a way it was a good thing, because I didn't have to decided to do that last feed. But now I have stopped, it's great!

Good luck with it!

I'm also really confused about weaning. DS is 9.5 months old and we're doing a mixture of BLW and jars.

He eats pretty good and I'd been bfing him at 7am, 11am, 3pm, 7pm and then various times during the night (up to 6 times sometimes!) but really would like to cut him down to a morning and evening feed as I'm going back to work soon (and want the night feeding to stop)

He's been drinking water from a sippy cup but doesn't like formula so much. Will he be getting the nutrients he needs from the 2 feeds a day? We give him dairy solids every day as well. Or should I try him with an afternoon ff from his cup after lunch?

Totally agree, Pumpkin, you've done brilliantly! You can only do what's right for you, I think, no more, no less!

We've had some success! Two nights in a row DS has slept 6 or 7 hours straight, not even wanting a bottle for two nights - just one or two breastfeeds around 2/3am. Still a long way to go, but we're getting there. Tonight DP is going to go in and offer ff at this waking, I'm going to stay out completely. And then once that seems to be working, I'll drop the 10.30am feed. Then the 2.30pm etc etc. By the end of April we should be there!!

Hello, Zombie! Your feeding sounds exactly the same as mine! I can only offer my limited experience, but what has truly, truly saved me is DP going in when DS wakes around 11pm (or whatever time you want him to do it), and giving him a bottle of ff. I hated this, I didn't want to do it, and of course he fucked it up for a few nights (not changing his nappy etc), BUT, it's working.

DS is sleeping for a bit longer, not because of the milk, I think because I'm not going in. Then, when DS wakes again, he'll go and comfort, unless a reasonable amount of time has passed (and only you know what this can be, I aim for 4 hours since feeding), in which case I'll bf. I figure that 3/4am wake up will gradually become 4/5am etc etc.

It's taken just over a week but for the last two nights DS has slept from 7pm until 1 or 2.30am. I was then feeding, but tonight DP is going to go in and offer the bottle. Of course I'm expecting it to all go tits up some nights, but so be it. Weaning is a gradual thing, and only you know your child.

I#m trying to drop the 10/10.30am feed, but tbh, until he's going through the night without me feeding, I'm not pushing it.

PM me if you want to discuss more, be happy to offer any advice I can!!

xx