Weaning advice from HV - seem about right?

[SharkSkinThing]

Hope someone can help - not to demonise HV's, but I often get get conflicting/slightly draconian advice from them!

DS is 7.5 months old, EBF, on solids from around 5 months. Is now eating three good sized meals day, finger feeds beautifully and will polish off 1.5 jars of food plus snacks a day.

Milks feeds generally go:

5am
10am
3pm
6.30pm
11pm ff

• one bf around 3am but we won't go there, I'm trying to get him off that!

HV says I could easily lose the 10am and 3pm feeds if he's having loads of food and dairy (he is), by just offering snacks and/or a bit of ff in a cup. He drinks water from a sippy cup no problem.

I'm happy to keep bf for another month or so, but if DS is moving himself away from the day time feeds, or I think I could easily give him something else, should I follow his lead?

HV said so long as he's having up to a pint of milk a day that's fine. The important feeds are the morning and evening ones.

Any other experiences of how I go about this?

Zombie, sorry, just realised you mention DS doesn't like formula much. My Ds is just stirring from nap, so will get back to you in a bit, ok! xx

Shark thanks for advice so far- we've started now with DP putting him down most nights (he works shifts). DS screams for a while but DP is very perserverant and lies there and strokes him to sleep. I never really wanted it to come to the crying thing but we never leave him alone and it's working-last night he slept from 9pm til 6.30am this morning!

We've also moved him further away from me (we were co sleeping) onto a mattress on the floor for now and when he wakes he just complains for a few minutes then drops off again. I'm trying to keep 8 hours between feeds if I can (because he often manages that in the day) but of course if he's screaming and nothing else works, I bf him.

I'm just worried that cutting out the night feeds and then potentially only feeding him morning and evening is reducing his mummy-milk intake too drastically?

I'm going to a LLL meeting on Monday so hopefully I can also get some advice from there. Will report back!

Sounds like you are doing it all exactly as you should be (IYKWIM, there's never a solid gold right way!), so well done, because it's tough.

It is SO hard when you bf, the hormones, the biological attachment, all of the emotional investment that is tied up with you and your child...not that FF babies don't have that, but it's a very difficult thing to gauge when to leave your child crying just in case they're not full enough! So although I wasn't keen for DS to have formula at this point, after 7.5 months, I realised I had to get over myself and let Dad help. I found it made me a bit stronger about saying no later in the night (or at least being more logical about it)!

And just because Mum is ready to stop bf, doesn't always mean that junior is!!

I also had to toughen up a bit and let DP sooth him, and we agreed between us what seemed a reasonable amount of time between feeds. He's generally 4, so the longer we could push back the first feed of the night, the less likely I am to have to bf.

Is he eating solids well in the day, which include good portions of calcium? If so, my HV (and she's a bit hit and miss, but this seems to be roughly true for others), up to a pint of milk a day is fine - so yes, first thing/last thing, maybe one more in the day (or a cup/bottle with expressed milk?). Do you feel he's honestly full when he goes to bed? Some good advice on here for me has been start with the feed you want to lose first! Worry about the others later.

I know it's perfectly reasonable and normal for babies up to all sorts of ages to still want a feed in the night (and hence the anguish when refusing), but I guess it comes down to what you, your family and your sanity can deal with!!

Up until two nights ok I hadn't had slept for more than 2 hours in a row for almost 8 months. Even the most selfless parent reaches a point when something has to change, but change is hard and requires effort and energy - none of which you have when you are soooo tired.

Good luck! Let us know how you get on. xx

Phew, just had an hour of screaming (DP is on late shift) but finally he went to sleep in his cot. I feel like crying!

He eats plenty in the eve I'm sure- more than he does at lunch for example. As for calcium- he eats cheese and yogurt. I tried him with some formula this afternoon but he didn't drink more than 20ml. I'd really like him to have formula so that we can replace morning / evening feeds with it if necessary (I may need to travel for my job)

Meh, at least things are improving bit by bit but I was so dead against any crying and I feel a bit like I have double standards. :(

Oh Zombie - sorry only just read this, I hope your day today was a kinder one!

And you do NOT have double standards! Babies are little moving targets - they sweetly go along with you and the routine you have deciphered and then they decide to throw a curve ball! If it's any consolation I normally have a blub most days!

I hate the home alone thing, too, it's so tiring. DP is out all night and won't be back until lunch tomorrow, so I have a double shift today, I have a horrible cold, it's hammering down so we've been mostly house-bound, and there will be no one to make me my morning cuppa! :(

Shark that bloody sucks. I hope things get better soon with the cold and weather! We had a sunny day today, thank God and DP is off for the weekend so he's picking up the slack phew !

Things are getting better and better with the falling asleep. We just need to work on the STAYING asleep!

Oh Zombie, staying asleep is our issue, too, but I have to say, we are making brilliant progress - finally, after 8 months of sleepless torture!

Last night DS did 7pm - 1.30am (bottle), then slept until 4.30am (boob, no nappy!!!), then woke at 6am!!

This is is the best ever! I almost feel normal again! I really, really hope he maintains this...I have been dreading going back to work because of the sleep deprivation, but I can sort of see the light now.

My DP also doing loads as well, guilt I think for being out all night!! And the sky is blue, and the birds are singing!

Argh, now I am very confused, having been to a La Leche League meeting..... :(